The way DP treats DD - is this typical?

[Mummy19891]

So just wondered if what I would view as a general lack on interest from DP towards DD was normal.

DD is now 6 months, from birth DP was very hands off, wouldn’t get involved with changing nappies or giving her baths, and would much rather watch tv. I brushed this off as just the newborn stage isn’t for everyone and figured as she go more active and alert things would change! But even now that she is more vocal and moving around he still seems disinterested, would rather rush bath time to get back to the tv, wouldn’t help get her ready unless I’m doing something like making food for him (nipped that one). She has also hit her head a few times when with him as he has left her sitting got distracted, again by the tv, and she has toppled.

So my question is, is this normal for a first time dad to have such a lack on interest? Will it change as she gets a bit older?

By being shit at the things he has been forced to do, it is ensuring that you stop asking him.

I was a complete brat through my mid-teens, and can confirm that this strategy works. OP, the more you speak about him, the worse he seems tbh. Your MIL certainly isn't helping with matters either!

That's not normal at all my dad is like this just so lazy and focused on his phone I love him to bits but I don't really remember him as a child even though he was there. He's still like it now my siblings are 3 5 9 and he's on his iPhone 24.7.
My children's dad is very hands on done all the night feeds from birth, changes nappy's puts them to bed, reads to them cooks for them, plays games etc all very good but he was a crap partner.

He's sounding worse and worse.
Get rid!
It sounds like you'll have an easier time just you and her and she won't be in danger. Win win

MrsMummy is spot on he sounds irredeemable!

Today we had a chat, he seems to think he has been improving. Wanted me to rehash all the times he has been neglectful, for some reason took offence when I brought up him putting her in ONLY a short sleeved body suit and blanket when taking out in the car in the middle of winter at 2 months and the fact that he still thinks this is ok to do in winter.

Don’t even get me started on the head bumping.. she is fine that is what he said. He won’t change, think it would actually take something happening for him to get it and that can’t happen so I have to walk away.

That is not normal. He is being lazy and he should be doing 50/50 with the baby when he is there. Nappies, feeds, bath times and even night feeds!

However I'd be much more concerned that he doesn't play with the baby, interact or seem to get any joy out of her, that is so sad.

My husband comes home from work and plays with her while I make dinner and he then does bath time every night. One of us gets her dressed and the other takes her to bed. I work part time and so my little girl should want me more but she really doesn't have a preference as dad is hands on with her too. He absolutely dotes on her and it's so lovely to see how strong a bond they have.

Your little one is still so young and it is so hard at that age but you are basically doing it all on your own. You are going to get more and more resentful. I'd be seriously considering if I wanted to stay with him. Are you planning to go back to work?

The interaction or lack of is really what highlighted it to me in the beginning and lack of affection, he wouldn’t even give her a kiss before going to work. Now it’s these bumps on the head.

I want to go back to work part time but if I become a single parent I won’t be able to afford full time let alone part time.

That's not just laziness or disinterest, that indicates a real resentment of how his life has changed because of her.

I say again I think you'll learn at some point the head bumps weren't just from lack of caution.

I'd be extremely wary of him having unsupervised contact. She won't be safe with him.

In fact at this point I recommend you speak to the nspcc or even ss for advice & guidance - but be prepared for them to pick up on things we haven't or ask questions that make you realise he's not just neglectful but actively abusive.

Have you sought any medical treatment for these bumps? I think you need while its as fresh in your mind as possible to note when, how often and where on her head she bumped.

Experts know what is accidental and what is as a result of abuse.

I know this is very difficult for you to hear and horrible to have to consider but the more you post...

You do have 2 children in this case and you may find it less stressful to be a single parent