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Original poster

I'm so hurt by what he said.

54 replies

Har23 · 19/04/2019 16:53

For the last few months my husband has been jokingly saying he's not getting enough sex. We might have sex 2-3 most weeks. I work long hours and I have 3 kids so naturally im not as wild as my pre kids days. Last night my husband and I were chatting in bed.the topic came up and he said "sure u just lie there like a sack of potatoes anyway" I'm really hurt by this. I said I didn't but he said yes u do.
Overnight I've lost respect for him, I'm very upset at his words. Or maybe I'm been too sensitive

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 19/04/2019 16:57

He was bloody rude.

Even if you don't move as much as he'd like, perhaps he needs to consider his role in it too.

If the sex isn't very satisfactory, I would calmly explain to him his role in getting you interested.

If the sex if fine but that's how you like to do it, I'd just tell him you won't put him through it any more and stop having sex with him until he apologises.

MashedSpud · 19/04/2019 17:06

Another man who thinks real life sex should be like faked porn.

Tell him the sex is boring and you will continue to be a sack of King Edwards until he ups his game.

crispysausagerolls · 19/04/2019 17:57

I would suggest if you are just lying there, it’s not very fun for you is it? A good partner will excite you to the point where you are engaged and involved. Ergo, he is pants in bed and can fuck off!

category12 · 19/04/2019 17:58

I shouldn't bother having sex with him again.

Livedandlearned · 19/04/2019 18:01

What exactly are you supposed to be doing?

englishdictionary · 19/04/2019 18:03

It wasn't nice of him to say, however; if you are not taking part in the sex other than to lie down and let him do it then perhaps you need to talk about it.

HairycakeLinehan · 19/04/2019 18:06

He is disgusting!!
How does he expect you to be able to sleep with him again?!

Aquamarine1029 · 19/04/2019 18:07

I would buy an actual sack of potatoes and tell him he can stick his sick in that from now on because he sure as hell won't be sticking it in me. I would then tell him to fuck off.

Singlenotsingle · 19/04/2019 18:14

He wasn't saying it "jokingly". He meant it! But he's not very skilled, is he? Just an amateur. Certainly saying things like that isn't going to turn you on - just the opposite. Tell him he needs to up his game; no wonder you aren't interested if be can't be bothered. You should go on strike OP.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 19/04/2019 18:33

Why is he having sex with someone just lying there like a sack of potatoes? That's obviously not enthusiastic or enjoyable sex for you is it? And yet..he does it anyways.

Millie2018 · 19/04/2019 18:37

What a charmer. I’m not surprised you are upset. Very thoughtless. 2-3 times a week is a lot in my life! I have 2 pre-school aged children and sex is the last thing I feel like. Definitely not if I’m being compared to potatoes.

newbabyyy2019 · 19/04/2019 18:42

Basically he's saying he wants you to get on top and do all the work

Thepacksurvives · 19/04/2019 18:49

2/3 times a week seems good going for a couple with three kids to me.

Do you enjoy the sex? Neither party should be doing all the work. Do you "buck back"?

He's been very rude but it sounds like you need a good chat about expectations

englishdictionary · 19/04/2019 18:49

Basically he's saying he wants you to get on top and do all the work

Well there is a lot more to sex then lying flat on your back or being on top.

Missionary is an incredible position if both parties are involved.

Singlenotsingle · 19/04/2019 18:51

My dp is grateful for what he can get! Grin Last time probably about 3 months ago. He doesn't moan or whinge, just waits patiently...

Original poster
Har23 · 19/04/2019 18:56

I don't just lie there, our positions vary but one of the most enjoyable is from behind while wer on our side. I do of course work it . There's no foreplay and wen he finishes well that's it for both of us, if u say anything he will say I'll finish u in the morning, then has the cheek to call me a sack of potatoes. I'm highly insulted 😔

OP posts:
hellsweddingbells · 19/04/2019 18:56

How dare he, that's a really unpleasant thing to say. Has it not occurred to him that if you're lying there like a sack of potatoes it doesn't suggest his talents are very good.....? I would say this warrants a proper conversation but the complete lack of respect he is showing is unacceptable. Also 2-3 times is hardly like he's deprived, plenty of people don't get it on anything like that often, even if they don't have dc

Closetbeanmuncher · 19/04/2019 19:06

Oh bugger that, he sounds like an extremely selfish lover and offensive to boot!

I think next time you get into bed you should plonk yourself on his face and give it a good grind....one you might actually get to cum and two you won't have to listen to the bullshit he spouts.... Win win!

ukgift2016 · 19/04/2019 19:10

2-3 x per week is above average!

If you split up, it is unlikely he would find someone who would do more than that in an long term relationship anyway.

It is actually ridiculous what he said. Also no foreplay sucks.

Thatnovembernight · 19/04/2019 19:11

No advice but I’d feel exactly the same.

justilou1 · 19/04/2019 19:17

Tell him you haven’t come in years and he says YOU just lie there like a sack of potatoes?!?!

AuntMarch · 19/04/2019 19:20

Given your update I would tell him "it's hard to get excited with such a selfish lover, I save my energy for when I'm on my own and can actually enjoy myself"

Loopytiles · 19/04/2019 19:23

Why are you having sex 2/3 times a week with someone who is so selfish and poor in bed?

Absolutepowercorrupts · 19/04/2019 19:29

Sorry Har23
Your husband is a useless lover, no foreplay? Reading your update, he just wants a wank. He's treating you as a wank hole.

Quartz2208 · 19/04/2019 19:40

Why on earth are you having such joyless sex 2-3 times a week with someone who clearly only cares about their needs