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i have tried my best to see this from dp's POV,or to just not care,but i can't change how i feel.

83 replies

divastrop · 14/07/2007 23:06

have posted on this subject a few times.

dp and i keep arguing about the same thing over and over,ie his chatting to women on online games.

i have always hated computer games for various reasons,but after being with dp for a while i realised he is really into them and i accepted it,and when we moved in together and it became clear that his playing computer games doesnt stop him playing with the kids,doing stuff around the house etc,i didnt let it bother me.

however,when he started playing online games i became concerned because of the 'chat' element,as i dont think that its right to chat online to members of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship.

dp explained that alot of the time he doesnt know what gender the person is in rl,which is fair enough.however,for a while at the end of last year,when i was pregnant,he was chatting to a woman nearly every day,and i saw some of the things she said to him like 'i'm your friend,arent i?'which to me is flirting.when i asked dp about this woman though,he would get annoyed with me and say they only ever chatted about the game and he didnt tell anybody anything personal like his name etc.
he just said i was being paranoid,and i tried to put it out of my mind.

now,though,our baby is 4 months old and this issue still gets to me.dp has said that he doesnt flirt and if anybody flirted with him he wouldnt chat to them again.but i,personally,would see him chatting regularly to a particular woman as cheating.it doesnt matter what they are chatting about,it would be the fact that he had formed an online relationship with a woman that bothered me.dp thinks this is unreasonable and that it wouldnt be cheating.

i have tried so hard not to care,but i often find myself looking over his shoulder to 'check' who he is talking to,and then he gets pissed off saying that i dont trust him.but how can i trust him when we see things so differently?

i dont know if this issue will ever be resolved,and i'm scared it will be the end of us

OP posts:

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PoorYorick · 15/06/2017 13:25

it is just one thing i personally wouldnt find acceptable in a relationship.and my dp has the same view as me on that subject,so it isnt an issue for us.

Except he clearly doesn't have the same view as you and it is an issue for you, hence this thread.

I think it's utter madness to prevent someone from having friends of the opposite gender.

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Hont1986 · 15/06/2017 13:32

Sorry to be blunt but your DP is in an abusive relationship. This is extremely controlling.

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CatsInKilts · 15/06/2017 13:37

This thread is 10 years old!

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PoorYorick · 15/06/2017 13:37

I went to an all girls school. I think my parents thought it would prevent me from going too boy crazy, being sexually active and so on. What it actually did was stop me from seeing boys as just normal people, that you could have normal non-sexual friendships with. For years afterwards I couldn't just interact with men normally. They were so utterly sexualised in my mind because I'd never socialised with them as just people. So the tiniest interaction became super sexual.

I'm just saying.