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Original poster

Would you or have you dated a criminal

72 replies

Bellasorellaa · 17/04/2019 15:55

my sister is dating someone who has been in prison 5 times
i thought my choice in men was bad! but she ......well

am i judgemental or wrong?

i have met him hes actually nice and treats her good, shes an adult of 25 so i have no say so and havent said anything to her because its not my business but these are just my thoughts?

so what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 17/04/2019 15:57

I would imagine that someone who has been in prison 5 times has got a habit, and that's why he's always ending up in prison so on that basis, then no, I wouldn't date them.

However, a billionaire who went to prison for tax evasion or money laundering, sure.

LellyMcKelly · 17/04/2019 15:59

Not for me. What has he done that he’s ended up in prison 5 times?

Middersweekly · 17/04/2019 16:05

I think it would depend entirely on what he did to end up in prison! Everyone deserves a second chance at the end of the day but he seems to have used prison like a revolving door so that would be a resounding NO from my POV.

SteveTheSpiderPlant · 17/04/2019 16:07

I have dated a couple of men that have been in prison. One was for attempted murder. Even I wouldnt date someone who had been in 5 times.

Original poster
Bellasorellaa · 17/04/2019 16:09

she said robbery, a gun charge, stealing cars, assault (on a man)

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellasorellaa · 17/04/2019 16:09

he come out in 2013 and hasn't been back, he works as an electrician

OP posts:
Figure8 · 17/04/2019 16:10

Steve- ( genuinely curious)
Was it something he had done a long time ago? How were you able to wrap your head around it?

OnlineAlienator · 17/04/2019 16:11

I gave one who'd been in for violent crime a chance. Surprise surprise, after a few months the mask slipped and he became aggressive towards me. I ended it there and then and wouldnt go there again.

Susanna30 · 17/04/2019 16:16

No.

youngfreeandnotsingle · 17/04/2019 16:16

Depends on the crime, my DP was in prison for something stupid when he was in his late teens because he thought he was too clever and got caught, but now he's a completely different person and always says how stupid he was in the first place. He's now got a good stable job and we're expecting a baby!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 17/04/2019 16:17

What was the gun charge? Possession of an unlicenced firearm? Coz that's at least 5 years in prison.

How old is he

Asta19 · 17/04/2019 16:21

How old is he? If he is 25 also that means he hasn't offended between the ages of 20 & 25, so that's a positive sign. Many young men "grow out" of crime by 25. I've worked with this group and it's something we were told in training. He has a job which is another positive. So, as long as he treats her well (and stays on the right path), I'd try not to worry about it.

DaffoDeffo · 17/04/2019 16:21

I think she needs to check what he is saying is true (i.e. what the charges were and what it was for)

having said that, I dated a man who had been in prison for a variety of things (burglary, breaking and entering) when he was a lot younger. He had been adopted and found it very hard to bond with his adopted family and rebelled. He rehabilitated himself and ran his own business (very successfully) and was completely over anxious about complying with the law in every way (and was 'clean' from jail for about 20 years).

So my advice is - yes people deserve a chance. If he hasn't been back to jail since 2013 then that's something. Hopefully he's discussed his rehabilitation with her and why he is now like this and why he won't commit a crime again. But I would be hiring someone to do a criminal record check on him just so that she can be sure and be sure what the charges were for (you can never be too careful....)

InsertFunnyUsername · 17/04/2019 16:22

All depends on what for really. Hearing someone had been in prison wouldn't automatically make me clutch my pearls, but 5 times is a bit much. Cant pass it off as a mistake 5 times 🤦‍♀️

Aquamarine1029 · 17/04/2019 16:22

Your sister is crazy. Has she always made such terrible choices in men?

Littlechocola · 17/04/2019 16:25

No. Plenty more fish in the sea who haven’t been to prison.

ChristmasFluff · 17/04/2019 16:30

The ex went to prison for domestic violence (against me) and criminal damage/breaking restraining order (stalking me). He has been to prison multiple times since - I don't know what for.

He doesn't tell anyone the truth about his first (DV etc) prison term. According to him he went to prison that time for attempting to rob a bank.

I'd at least check under Claire's Law

TellItLikeItReallyIs · 17/04/2019 16:33

However, a billionaire who went to prison for tax evasion or money laundering, sure.

LOL! Love it.

No and no from me. A recidivist criminal will just keep doing it and be in and out of jail.

Even if you are with the billionaire tax fraudster, if you marry them you'll spend your whole life in fear that the Proceeds of Crime Act will catch up with you and you'll lose everything via a confiscation order or on a massive legal bill.

Just not worth it, unless you are in and out of jail yourself in which case you'll have plenty to talk about!

Guyliner · 17/04/2019 16:34

It depends what for.

Stealing or selling drugs at 18, broken home, financially struggling.. Probably would. Violent crimes or dealing drugs at 30 definitely not...

hellsbellsmelons · 17/04/2019 16:34

Guns - no friggin way.
5 times - no way.
But I'm assuming he's not done anything criminal in the last 5 years???
Or has he just not been caught?
How long has your DSis been dating him?

Original poster
Bellasorellaa · 17/04/2019 16:37

he did get 5 years for something and did 2 1/2 guessing it was the gun charge and was unlicensed

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellasorellaa · 17/04/2019 16:37

hes 32

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellasorellaa · 17/04/2019 16:42

she been dating him for 6 months.
Only told me the truth recently

OP posts:
Maxineputyourredshoeson · 17/04/2019 16:44

Yes I married him Grin

When DH was a teenager he was a complete nightmare. Got sent to prison at 18 for 4wks, served 2 and he is now 42 and never been in trouble since. He had lots of issues growing up and rebelled badly. He’s ashamed of his behaviour and even his mum said after he got sent to prison something clicked and he was a different person. He was completely honest with me from day 1, I’m glad I took the chance.

CherylCheshire · 17/04/2019 17:05

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