to move 200 miles from abusive ex?

[fantasea8]

I have a 6 month old. His dad was emotionally abusive towards me and whilst I know the court will allow him access to his son, I don't want to see him again. I am in the process of getting a non molestation order against him.

I have very little support where I am now. I have my friends who I'm staying with but that's it.

Back in my hometown, 200 miles away, I have my mum, my dad, my gran, dozens of friends and a huge huge support network.

WIBU to move back to my parents'? I don't know why I feel sorry for my abusive ex. He's awful. I just don't know what to do.

I think I also worry about how visitation would work...

Yanbu at all, move back to where you have your support.

He's told me that I can't move and that he will stop me via the court. I didn't even mention moving but he has his suspicions.

My ex did just that, tho I am the RP. He has to do all the travelling for visits as he was the one who moved.

@Nnnnnineteen I think it might work differently in my case as my DS is nearly 6 months old and ebf. I don't think it'd be fair to cart DS 200 miles there then 200 miles back for the day. I wonder if they would take his abuse in to account (this is proven abuse so not just accusations)

Move ASAP. Be aware if he takes you to court ( is he likely to finance this?) you may be ordered to do the travelling and pay the travel costs as you moved.
Claim cms ASAP also.

Sadly I’m not across the legal situation, I hope someone here can help. Or could you get legal advice?

From a non legal point of view I think you should move. Being surrounded by people you love will be so much better for both you and your DC. Go forth and make an amazing new life for both of you!

Maybe should've posted in legal. Never mind!

Would they really make me do all that travelling with a baby? I mean it'd be a small price to pay to be around my family.

Move back! A good support network is invaluable when you've got a baby and you have to do what's best for you and your baby now.

He could try to stop you with a prohibitive steps order but maybe the court would see the benefit to your child of you moving. Try legal matters and see what responses you get there.

Look, move back and keep feeding as long as u can, but expect a fight. A court won't take a BF baby away from their mother at 6 months, but by time you could (not that you should) express it might be different. Courts value the status quo with little children, so move to tour support network (which benefits u and your child) and work on all the ways why it's better for you to be there in case of court action. Mine included GCSE stats for local schools v where we lived and where we could live, access to parks/ beaches etc. PM if you want x

Also u don't say if I pays maintenance, so if he dsnt you can say you can't afford to live where you are anymore and need financial support from family

He's not paying maintenance atm but I'm no contact with him due to abuse so haven't asked.

Unfortunately abuse against you won't remove your dc's rights to see it's df.. As crap as that is. ..

Move ASAP and establish your roots. Then claim maintenance from there. Establish that as your residence first. Either at your parents or your own residence.

Do it now before he has a chance to go to court. I would personally have friends and family come down next weekend and help pack my household and put everything into storage until I find a job and residence where I am going.

I would have this moved to relationships. They are very knowledgeable about stuff like this as well.

Is he having contact at the moment?

Personally I would move, by the time he finds out and fights you through the court they are highly likely to make you move back (assuming same country rather than Scotland to Wales or similar) due to his young age, his abuse, lack of existing contact routine.

He wants to see him but is continuing to abuse me. I also posted the other day under a different name about how he cancelled my son's cardiac appointment out of spite. He doesn't care about his son clearly. He hasn't seen him for 5/6 ish weeks.

This is what kind of person he is.

Never been this upset beforehttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3556889-never-been-this-upset-before

my ex tried to take out a PSO against me. Unluckily for him i had refused to do anything without court agreement, so would not move, gain a job or housing until I knew the court would be OK. So the court were supposedly shocked that he would apply. But very unluckily for me the family court put fortnightly weekend contact with dad above everything else. That included better schools, child not having to board away from home, child's own mental health. So move now and deal with the dust later. And for all posters, I never, and have never, tried to stop contact with dad. The good news is my child now sees their dad for who they are - a selfish individual who only does what they perceive to be better for them.

OP you need to set a precedent

Does he have access at the moment
Is he likely to take you to court?

Take the baby and move, keep records of conversations and messages

Be careful in what you say - he could use this against you

If he wants to see LO, day he’s free to visit, etc and that baby will need a feed between x and y time -

I think @RandomMess meant highly *unlikely

And I agree with that, move ASAP and get yourself and LO settled.

Keep a meticulous diary. Going back to when your dc was born. A judge can make a better decision with facts.

I also think you should move back - in court it would also be argued as to why you have moved. Simply to have a support network which is completely understandable.

I can't move until my mum has bought a house with a spare room so won't be for a few months but I'm happy to sit tight until then and move without telling him.