Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to move 200 miles from abusive ex?

54 replies

fantasea8 · 15/04/2019 18:12

I have a 6 month old. His dad was emotionally abusive towards me and whilst I know the court will allow him access to his son, I don't want to see him again. I am in the process of getting a non molestation order against him.

I have very little support where I am now. I have my friends who I'm staying with but that's it.

Back in my hometown, 200 miles away, I have my mum, my dad, my gran, dozens of friends and a huge huge support network.

WIBU to move back to my parents'? I don't know why I feel sorry for my abusive ex. He's awful. I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
timetogetgoing · 15/04/2019 22:19

Court process takes time so that helped. No applications had been made at time we went. Status quo is important so getting routines and networks set up ASAP is good. We went to stay with family and I got rid of the house we had quickly, so nowhere to go back to. I took the risk that a court was not going to then order us to relocate back. It may not be possible to do things without getting criticised. If you are putting in nursery without consulting the father, I guess you can at least give the info re where child is once they’re attending there. You can always argue that need for a nursery place was important to help child get what they need. To be honest in my case it was all a bit messy but I just knew I had to get away or our lives would have been miserable. And it is entirely possible you will be ordered to do the travelling and incur the cost, or at least that the travel is shared.

Phillipa12 · 15/04/2019 22:29

op i moved 200 miles back to my home town with my 3 dc, the youngest was 10 months. When my exh and i separated i told him i was going home to be close to family as i had none where we were living, ex did speak to a solicitor and the solicitor told him that because i was moving back home for family support then a judge would allow it. As for contact the dc see there dad eow and we share the driving.

Yellow2017 · 15/04/2019 23:02

Thanks @timetogetgoing ! Did u put in your own CAO when you had moved ? Did you attend mediation?!

mamabear2525 · 03/05/2026 19:18

timetogetgoing · 15/04/2019 22:19

Court process takes time so that helped. No applications had been made at time we went. Status quo is important so getting routines and networks set up ASAP is good. We went to stay with family and I got rid of the house we had quickly, so nowhere to go back to. I took the risk that a court was not going to then order us to relocate back. It may not be possible to do things without getting criticised. If you are putting in nursery without consulting the father, I guess you can at least give the info re where child is once they’re attending there. You can always argue that need for a nursery place was important to help child get what they need. To be honest in my case it was all a bit messy but I just knew I had to get away or our lives would have been miserable. And it is entirely possible you will be ordered to do the travelling and incur the cost, or at least that the travel is shared.

Hey can I ask, what did the court order in the end? Did they allow you stay in your home country or order a return?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread