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Original poster

Husband and wife conversation. Is this OK??

89 replies

bananahead6 · 13/04/2019 17:51

Scenario...

Husbands shouts through to wife "can you check the oven in 10/15 mins till I pop to the shop for beans?"

Wife replies, "yeah, but what shop are you going to?" (asks because assumes it is just the wee shop across the road and won't take more than 5 mins)

DS replies "just the coop" (the one just across the road)

Wife replies "on well you won't be 15 mins" (just in a conversational style)

H replies "just check the stuff in ten minutes, I don't need any of your backchat".

What are your thoughts about this conversation?

OP posts:
aposterhasnoname · 13/04/2019 18:54

The majority of the conversation is fine, but “backchat” fuck that noise.

HJWT · 13/04/2019 19:04

Well if I was the wife I would of said it in a sarcastic way so YABU 😁😁😁

SandyY2K · 13/04/2019 19:05

Tbh simply checking the oven in 15 minutes was required.

I'd be irritated by the questioning if it was me.

In my mind I'd be thinking "just check the fuking oven in 15 minutes and leave me alone"*

Contraceptionismyfriend · 13/04/2019 19:19

She would've irritated the fuck out of me. Why couldn't she just have said OK and if he was back before then even better. I would've snapped at her as well. I can't stand people who take something so easy and turn it into a headache.

zippey · 13/04/2019 19:21

Husband is rude.

The so called back chat or micro managing is just a conversation between two people.

poppingoff · 13/04/2019 19:28

I reckon she's the type who has to have the last word on everything and he needs his 15 mins away from her, so snapped.

AvengersAssemble · 13/04/2019 19:29

What? Confused

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 13/04/2019 19:30

Said in good humour or aggressively? If I said ‘back chat’ I would be joking and DH would say ‘oooooooh’ and we would laugh.

Loopytiles · 13/04/2019 19:30
Confused
LumpyPillow · 13/04/2019 19:41

Between some that would be a joke - both would know it was completely a joke on both sides and in no way serious, and would be all in fun, if both laughing. Ive seen that, totally innocent, shared humour.

For others, if meant as a serious or sassy exchange, i can see it could be delivered in a completely rude and aggro way. With both feeling unresolved anger and resentment.

So totally depends on the couple. Could be either way.

BoneyBackJefferson · 13/04/2019 19:43

Not your circus. Not your monkeys.

Angelinthenightx · 13/04/2019 19:44

They are both in the wrong,just a bit silly but i see it from both sides,she shouldnt have gave him a time limit and he shouldnt have said what he did to her.id say she is more in the wrong tho ,he Was only going to the shop 15mins isnt even a long time.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 13/04/2019 20:07

Maybe he is the sort that he will cook but will then request all sorts of her to 'facilitate' his amazing penis cooking.

Maybe she wants a break
Maybe he should just get on and organise himself to cook some bloody food without having to order her about?

For goodness sake - let's side with women. Let's see what male privilege is.

Putthatlampshadeonyourhead · 13/04/2019 20:24

For goodness sake - let's side with women. Let's see what male privilege is.

Yes of course. If you have a vagina, you just always side with the person that has a vagina.

Women are only allowed personal opinion s as long as they side with women? Confused

TheGoodEnoughWife · 13/04/2019 20:30

Clearly not but there is such a drive to label a woman as controlling for having a conversation and a bloke should be able to order her around because clearly she is nit picking?
Or he can just act as a grown up and get on with things!

Frequently it seems women fall over themselves to be 'cool' and 'understanding' to, in effect, side with the poor hen pecked blokes.

Knackeredmommy · 13/04/2019 20:39

I get his frustration, he was rude but I wouldn't LTB!

RiversDisguise · 13/04/2019 20:44

Have you never been stuck unexpectedly long in a shop? Till change or staff problems or computer going down? Why wouldn't you just agree to check the fucking dinner? And if he needs 15 mins to buy the beans, check his phone for football scores, have a fag, pop to the loo, whatever - so be it. No need to give him time limits.Confused

MumsyJ · 13/04/2019 20:48

That household understands their banter and it's probably the normal way they speak to each other.

It's only to check the oven in a certain timeframe why did she sound suspicious and annoying? She triggered the backchat response. Get a grip woman!

TheGoodEnoughWife · 13/04/2019 20:54

'She triggered the back chat response ' yep, she deserved being spoken to like a piece of shit because she 'deserved' it.

Nice.

Original poster
bananahead6 · 13/04/2019 21:22

So for clarification, she was a light as pie and relaxed in the way she said yeah. She was happy to check and only asked to clarify what shop he was going to. He was deadly serious is his response, and I saw her face fall. I just think he was rude.

OP posts:
RiversDisguise · 13/04/2019 21:28

Light as pie but still creating an unnecessary delay when he just wants to pick something up from the bloody shops.

If you were a third party witness I'd assume she was showing off to you a bit here.

If i were him I'd be brassed off

TheGoodEnoughWife · 13/04/2019 21:33

You see OP? She is still wrong for questions 'person with penis' no matter how light and breezy she was. I despair, I really do.

pallisers · 13/04/2019 22:17

Light as pie but still creating an unnecessary delay when he just wants to pick something up from the bloody shops.

jesus is there any way that a man being rude isn't a woman's fault. Can you imagine being married to someone who tells you to stop the "backchat" like a 12 year old in school because you caused "an unnecessary" delay in running across the road to the shop. Who even cares about unnecessary delays in going to pick up a tin of beans?

And what the actual fuck is showing off about saying what the wife said? People must have really weird relationships.

I'm with you TheGoodEnoughWife.

Loopytiles · 13/04/2019 22:27

It makes it much worse IMO if he said that in front of a third party friend/family member.

RiversDisguise · 13/04/2019 23:01

Showing off- I see as the bullshit about telling him it won't take X minutes, with the implication he can trot over and trot back and no need to bother her.

My husband is an utter delight and a perfect planner- he would not find himself short of an ingredient so this scenario would not happen. I am the oppposite and I do get stressed out with cooking. I'd be well fucked off if my husband stopped to tell me how long something should take etc when all I did was ask him to make sure something didn't burn if I wasn't back in 10mins. Esp if saying it 'light as pie' and smirking at his mate throughout.

It has nothing to do with the sexes.