Feeling really terrified of tomorrow.

[user1486131602]

I am divorcing a complete narcissist. Too much history to post here, but Friday it got ugly and he go at violent.
Friday I saw my solicitor and the police. I have to wait for him to come home from his mums, make sure the kids are out of the way and get him to leave. ( I've already asked and he said no, joint mortgage). If he won't go I will have to call the police he will be arrested etc........
I don't really have a support system and altho I'm not scared of him the anxiety of having to do this alone is making me feel frantic.
Please someone tell this will get easier eventually, I'm emotionally exhausted from all of the ongoing drama trying to do what's right by the kids and all he's concerned with is himself. Help!

UPDATE:
The childish twit has paid £32 into the house account as he's taken over the mortgage and loan pay,nets....from my account without my knowledge, that's for another time!
He has given me £12.50 per child per week for food etc...what a complete dick! Gloves off, abuse papers back on the table, csa will now be involved.....solicitor or no solicitor.....I will do EVERYTHING in my power to ensure OUR kids are protected and provided for.
Game over!

Now that's a healthy attitude. Go get him.

Wallywobbles: yep!😉

You go girl!!!

as he's taken over the mortgage and loan pay,nets....from my account without my knowledge,
Have you changed the password/pin to your account now?

Happynow001:
No, he contacted the companies ( in joint names) and told them he'd be
Paying those bills in future from his account. So they canx the dd's.......that's ok you just made yourself legally responsible for paying those you dick!
Weenurse:
Wanted to be fair ( unlike him) was expecting him to be a jackass where I was concerned, but never thought he'd make the kids go without! So now I'll behave the way he's does.....watch out!

Ummmm, how can he just take over? And it was coming from your account before? Or he took money from your account?!? Either way, if it’s a joint mortgage he shouldn’t be able to change anything unilaterally. It should need joint signatures due to, ya know, the joint bit!!

Keep on going though! I would put all the paperwork in and keep documenting everything he is doing. He is an idiot!

canuckBC:

He called the companies and took over the direct payments. He was not taking money from my account.. we only have separate accounts. In the UK as the law stands he has made himself for those payments!
I have been documenting everything since last yr and yes, you are right he is a self entitled, arrogant idiot! 😉

I'm pretty sure that you're not right about him being liable btw, as long as you're still named on the utility bill etc. Also, if the police told you it was just a scuffle and they weren't doing anything, then you should be making a complaint. I am a police officer and have to believe that no one would really say that to a genuine abuse victim.

Desmondo:
It was not a utility.

Since any mortgage that is joint in the UK is also 'severely' liable.
Explanation : if mortgage payment was £100 and he paid £50, that still leaves a joint liability of £50, i.e.:£25 each....he has told them that he is making the payments in full.....therefore he is liable for the full £100 a month. Hope that makes sense.
And yes the police (heddlu) did tell me it was deemed a scuffle ( my word against his) as the only witness was our daughter. I refused to ask her to make a statement against her dad. They have cautioned him and asked children's services to check on the kids, which they have.
I have kept a journal, this is being used as evidence of his unreasonable behaviour and emotional/verbal abuse, along with women's aid statement, doctors statement, and statements from friends and neighbours to apply for occupation order and hopefully an injunction to stop him from returning.
I tried to be reasonable by making him an offer to leave and we would settle up when the kids have finished their education which is my legal right. He declined.
So, tomo at my solicitor I shall be issuing the abuse forms for the court to accompany my already filed divorce petition. He has yet to engage a solicitor because it's going to cost him money!

Joint and severally liable for the whole debt when the initially application was made= irrelevant of what he said or which account payments are coming out of, you can still be as equally liable for non payment as he is.

OP, do NOT allow your husband to be solely liable for the mortgage. All he has to do is default until a sale of the house is forced.

You really, really need to get better advise.

Good advice here, good luck

Weenurse:
Have checked, he has paid them. But, NOTHNG else!
He has taken to calling the kids each day to say if he is/is not coming back! And then telling them they are NOT to tell me....well that's grown up! The poor kids, no one can relax, cos each day we are all waiting for him to come home and start again. Their resits start next week and then their finals the week after, why can't he just DO what's right?! Feeling alone today, have been trying to stay positive for them but it's so difficult with no one for me to lean on, coping with all his shit and drama, my son needing extra help and love right now ( he's really down about his exams) my daughter is either never here or taking her dads side as he manipulates her. Please God, give me strength x
The solicitor cancelled my appt as HMRC didn't provide relevant paperwork so gotta wit for that....next week , hopefully!
It's Chinese torture just waiting.......waiting......waiting. I am doing everything I can to push forward but just gotta wait!

Concentrate on what you have control over. You can’t control him and his actions so forget about that for now.
Concentrate on the DC and what they need to get through the next couple of weeks.