Wife is ill and asleep

[pearses]

My wife has been ill for some time. Nothing massively serious, but pretty bad. She started treatment last week and it went wrong, they think something else is in play. We find out tomorrow, Jesus I am fearing the worst. I've no reason too but I just have this sickening feeling. The symptoms all match the worst case scenario - but they also march other things but they symptoms are so severe it seems unlikely to me, but then I no nothing. Sorry for posting here, I don't think I've ever posted but I've been here a long time. I can't tell her because she is in such a positive place, but I know ill not sleep tonight. Also it's not worth my life to wake her.

I'm not really looking advice, just wish there was someone to talk to right now.

Hi all,

The OP has had a change of heart and would like the thread to be reinstated.

Thank you. Yes my wife came down as I was posting. She knows everything I wrote

Not seen this thread until now so have just read it all. @pearses I'm very sorry for what you're going through, it sounds so difficult. How are things now?

They aren't good. We are both very sad.

I'm sorry

I'm really sorry. How hard for both of you.

Hi OP, as you say it can be hard to get help from social services, (in fact you often pretty much have to already have been assessed as eligible for PIP/disabled to qualify for it) but it's worth your wife trying to apply for Personal Independence Payment.

As she's a social worker she'll be great at the forms- you get about a month to fill it in, so she can do a bit at a time. Then that money can be used to hire a care worker to give you some respite, or (more likely- it's how most people use it) on whatever will enhance her quality of life.

Hugs and I hope she gets some improvement/answers soon. xxx She definitely shouldn't be taking it out on you. Maybe if she's a bit down/becoming more volatile. she could see her GP and try medication and/or therapy? Either way, best wishes xxx

What was her response when she read what you had written?
Does she acknowledge that how she is treating you is unfair?
Has she agreed to work on that?
She probably knows she is being unreasonable, but just can't help it.
I can't imagine how frustrating all of this is for her as well.
But you do some space.
You do some understanding.
And you do NOT need to be interrogated for going to the pub next door once a week!
I really hope you can now work together on this.
Good luck OP.

I feel a bit weird about posting now as I know my wife can read my thoughts, though she says she won't.

It was a nightmare @hellsbellsmelons. It was my fault as I was writing a reply when she came out and tried to hide it and got caught - which made her paranoia just go crazy. So i know that was my fault.

I tried to explain but she wouldnt believe me and when I showed her the messages she was ignoring the nice things I said and looking for something bad. She just couldn't calm to take in what I had wrote.

I got the thread reinstated the next day and asked her to reread it all with a clear head and it changed things completely. Last night we had a great talk and today feels like a brand new start, maybe understanding each other a bit more.

I was really hurt she read it all, I begged her not too - it is like someone seeing inside your head, where you thought you were safe, but asking her to stop just convinced her there was something I wanted to hide. It was absolutely horrific having someone in real life reading your private thoughts. But I am over it and I'll take the positives that came from it and move forward. She can see now how important her health is to me and how important she is.

The funny bit is that she posted up herself about her paranoia straight after and all the responses said that I was an abusive cheat and she was right to be paranoid! She got it taken down I believe, but I seen some screen shots.