Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

How did you know you’d met ‘the one’?

82 replies

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 20:41

Earlier today some friends and I were discussing the moment you realised that you were in love with someone and that they were the person you wanted to be with forever/marry. Some said it was more of a slow process of falling in love and realising it gradually. In my experience, it hit me like a train - after about 6 months we were on holiday in Rome, stood on the Spanish Steps at sunset and I just looked at him and realised - my exact thought was ‘oh crap I love you!’

I always find it really interesting when people say they knew they were going to marry someone as soon as they met - is that the case for anyone?

OP posts:

Shahlalala · 01/04/2019 20:50

I was blown over the first time I saw DH, can’t tell you why, I had just never looked at someone and felt that way. I remember it like it was yesterday rather than 13 years ago.

I wouldn’t recommend marrying someone you have just met, but once I was with him a few weeks I was certain he was the one for me. Got married after two years (he asked after 6 months), so we did wait a bit. Not because I didn’t want to marry him, but because the sensible part of my brain said 6 months isn’t very long.

Shahlalala · 01/04/2019 20:52

Just a disclaimer that I don’t think a ping moment is required and you need to be in love at first sight.
Makes more sense to take the long approach I would think!

BecauseYouAreWorthIt · 01/04/2019 20:54

I had that, I am now divorced.

pumpkinpie01 · 01/04/2019 20:57

Very very slow burn for me , i really had no opinion of him at all when we first met

Elephantina · 01/04/2019 20:59

Same as Shahlalala - I wouldn't call it love at first sight exactly, but I certainly remember the day I set eyes on my now DH. That was nearly 21 years ago.

But when we finally got together after a few months (it was complicated), I think I knew within a matter of weeks that he was just everything to me.

That's not to say that we haven't had our moments - we broke up once, in 2002. We were unhappy so we planned the split, sorted out where we were both moving to, and after a month of arrangements the day finally came for us to go our separate ways.

We lasted less than 24 hours apart. He drove over to my rented place in a right state at 3am, and we got back together and decided to get married the following year.

That chokes me up reliving that!

Original poster

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 21:03

@Shahlalala You sound very like me - the romantic side of me is screaming out that I’m going to marry him, the sensible part of my brain keeps me in check though!

OP posts:

Original poster

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 21:04

@Elephantina I also met him them it took a few months to get together, but I feel the same as you, like my life is complete now he’s in it. To be honest, you almost had me choked up too!

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/04/2019 21:06

There’s obviously a difference between lust and love but with DH it was a strong chemical thing where his smell made so much sense, felt so right, we felt so intensely compatible, I remember thinking if I could smell him every day for the rest of my life, rest my head on his shoulder at the start and end of good and bad days, whatever happened would be manageable.

Original poster

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 21:07

@pumpkinpie01 no opinion is better than a terrible opinion!

OP posts:

Original poster

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 21:08

@BecauseYouAreWorthIt I would say I’m sorry to hear that but the tells me otherwise!

OP posts:

Jessgalinda · 01/04/2019 21:09

I met Dp at a friends house. I didn't even realise he was there in the corner. I was too busy talking to my friend and she pointed him out, we said hello and Made small talk. Nothing exciting.

As I was leaving, about 10 minutes later, he made a joke and then laughed. I have been married and I can honestly say that's the first time I felt that 'wow' moment. It wasnt love, but it was definitely more than lust or attraction. I knew at that second we would get together and made plans to avoid it as we were both recently separated.

That didn't work. We didnt get together immediately. But quicker than I planned to be in another relationship after I left exh.

He says he was blown away the minute I walked in.

Original poster

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 21:09

@AnneLovesGilbert I completely understand that!

OP posts:

SimonJT · 01/04/2019 21:11

I had known him for years and always really fancied him, to the point where I struggled to fancy other people so starting relationships was hard. After (drunkenly) professing my undying love for him we had a very long talk about what we both wanted (once I had sobered up), after that I knew I would love him forever after about four months, when he was sat playing the piano at the bottom of the bed and turned round and smiled at me.

We decided to split up in the end as it wouldn’t be fair for my son to be dragged around on tours/to have someone constantly coming and going from his life. We’re great friends and we both wonder if we’ll have that feeling again, we’re both happy if we don’t as some people aren’t lucky enough to experience it.

Original poster

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 21:11

@Jessgalinda I also got together with DP much sooner after a break up than I would have liked to, but it’s the best thing that could have happened, and to be honest, there was no fighting it!

OP posts:

Elephantina · 01/04/2019 21:11

Aww Jane! No I can't imagine what life would have been like without him, he's an arse at times obviously but I'm a right pain as well.

I look back at the reasons for that happening, and they were pretty trivial really. We were both to blame - I was working two jobs and was rarely at home, he drank a lot of beer and seemed distant, disinterested and resentful. I think we need a good shake up to remind ourselves why we got together in the first place. Anyway, it worked because we've been married for 16 years and I'd say we've had about 4 mildly serious arguments. 2 of them utterly my fault and could've broken us (fallout from our brief split). But all ok now.

Jessgalinda · 01/04/2019 21:12

To me dp feels like home. It's the only way I can describe it. It's that feeling of getting home after a long day and being in your home. That's the feeling he gives me.

Once we got together properly it's been so easy.

Happyspud · 01/04/2019 21:12

I knew I would marry him before I could even remember his name. It was like being hit by something.

Comet456 · 01/04/2019 21:12

When my 2 year old DD met him for the first time and was sick all over him. Instead of walking off, he laughed and said he didn’t realise children were so interesting.

Original poster

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 21:13

@SimonJT I take my hat off to you, staying friends with someone you’ve felt that way about seems like it would be so difficult!

OP posts:

Sculpin · 01/04/2019 21:14

When I first laid eyes on my ex boyfriend I had the ‘this is it’ moment. We were together for three years on and off.

With my DH it was more of a slow burn - I definitely didn’t know immediately, or at any precise moment that I can put my finger on. We’ve been together for 22 years now and I’m still crazy about him

swimrunfun · 01/04/2019 21:15

Still waiting. Am in my late 40s.

Jessgalinda · 01/04/2019 21:20

I also got together with DP much sooner after a break up than I would have liked to, but it’s the best thing that could have happened, and to be honest, there was no fighting it!

Yes that's what happened with us. We got together briefly at first. Then decided it was too soon. We split for 5 months. But still saw eachother everyday constantly texted. Always said good night and good morning. Knew everything about eachother hung out. As friends. We sometimes lamented about our bad timing. We both thought it just wouldn't happened and were happy been friends. Then we slept together but I still didnt want to be a couple. Which was stupid because we were. We even did our weekly shop together. For 2 houses. We would plan what we were eating and where.

Everyone else was confused. We were always together, acted like a couple. But weren't a couple.

He worked nights and used to come over before his shift when I got home from work. One of us would cook and then he would come for breakfast after his shift. I usually made his breakfast while he did mine and my sons packed lunch.

Eventually, he came in one morning and we talked and he said he wanted this. He wanted to come home to me everyday and he couldnt stand the though of me being with someone else.

A year later we are together, happy and settled.

It seems stupid that we waited so long. Even my son, asks why it took us so long. He met dp at the same time I did, as it was a friends bbq. While we were just friends they got to know him and saw him at my friends all the time.

Seems daft now. But looking back, it was inevitable. Even when we weren't a couple I didnt want anyone else. I didnt want a relationship, but I did want him.

It's all very odd.

wineandsunshine · 01/04/2019 21:22

I just knew!

You know when you hear about that 'moment', I had that a few weeks after seeing DH. I can honestly say he saved me after a very abusive relationship for ten years.

FuzzyPixel · 01/04/2019 21:23

DH was doing some temp work in my office. I remember, so vividly, the first time I saw him and thinking 'I need that man in my life, he is the person I'm going to marry and end up with'. I felt so drawn to him. I told my mum that evening.

We were both seeing other people at the time. Three years later (DH was employed by our organisation), we finally started dating. It was a series of moments that really cemented those initial feelings.

We've been together ten years next year, and we're expecting our first baby (after a battle with infertility) this July. I can hand on heart say that those feelings have only grown further and I can't wait to see him as a Dad.

caringcarer · 01/04/2019 21:28

I had been dating him for almost three months and i wanted to buy a new TV. I have a small car. He came with me when i went to choose TV. I insisted on buying one with very large screen and it came in enormous box. We went to put ignin car but it would not fit. He then told me not to worry he woulc go and get his car which is bigger to drive it home for me. It suddenly dawned on me he was helping me with a solution rather than blame md and complain as my ex would have done.

Flip

1 2 3 4