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Original poster

How did you know you’d met ‘the one’?

82 replies

JaneTheo · 01/04/2019 20:41

Earlier today some friends and I were discussing the moment you realised that you were in love with someone and that they were the person you wanted to be with forever/marry. Some said it was more of a slow process of falling in love and realising it gradually. In my experience, it hit me like a train - after about 6 months we were on holiday in Rome, stood on the Spanish Steps at sunset and I just looked at him and realised - my exact thought was ‘oh crap I love you!’

I always find it really interesting when people say they knew they were going to marry someone as soon as they met - is that the case for anyone?

OP posts:
Original poster
JaneTheo · 02/04/2019 17:07

The idea of it being impossible for there to be ‘the one’ out there is one my romantic heart cannot take! I like to believe that you will always find the one, because fate will align that way. However, the one ‘right now’ might be a better way to describe it, it’s just that for some, right now turns into always!

OP posts:
category12 · 02/04/2019 17:18

I've had the lightning bolt thing a couple of times. It's just hormones.

I don't believe in "the one" either. Tis bollocks.

Tim Minchin says it better than I could:

peachgreen · 02/04/2019 17:31

Just knew. Our eyes met and he smiled at me and I thought "oh, shit" and then "oh, there you are, now it all makes sense". We spent the next 8 hours talking. I would have married him there and then and he felt the same. He made everything in my life make sense and still does.

mummmy2017 · 02/04/2019 17:35

First look, first touch, everything I did that day ways not me.
But we had twenty odd years of ups downs and wrong turns till he died . Never for one minute would I take back meeting him

BlueSaphire · 02/04/2019 17:42

Love/lust at first sight.
We married within a few months and we have stayed together (lots of ups and downs) for a very long time.

Kennehora · 02/04/2019 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jenniferyellowcat · 02/04/2019 18:00

I fancied DH the first time we met and ten minutes later we had exchanged numbers. A month later we went out for a drink and when I walked in I thought ‘Hmm, weird - I think I am going to marry you’. A few months later I moved in.

But I think it was just good timing and basic compatibility. I had also had a good few years’ training in what to avoid in a partner...

Papayalady · 02/04/2019 18:07

It's lovely to read these love stories - I'm used to hearing friends moan and whinge about their DPs and DHs! But you get that in your 40s with kids, work and older parents I guess! Life's pressures, eh?
I've never had that 'bolt of lightning' moment - it's always taken a while for me to fall in love (twice; at 21 and again at 40). Neither worked out sadly, so whether you fall in love instantly or now, it's the work and honesty that keeps love alive I think. But that's another story! It's a nice reminder there are relationships that have lasted the test of time.

WFTisgoingoninmyhead · 02/04/2019 18:12

I knew the day I met my DH that he was the one. He has been my only BF and I had always declined other men if they asked for a date, but with him, I looked at his lovey kind eyes and said yes straight away. 30 years on I can honestly say I love him just as much now as that day. There have been days in between when I would happily have murdered him though😂

Jenniferyellowcat · 02/04/2019 18:40

papaya I am always moaning about DH! Our marriage is far from perfect and with someone else I might have cut my losses by now. But he is a genuine, kind person and as I am less than perfect too we get around it. I had several failed relationships before I met him and they really helped me to know what I didn’t want!

mindutopia · 02/04/2019 18:53

I completely thought he was just a casual thing for the first 6 months (we met working abroad and were from two other countries on opposite sides of the world).

But he was lovely and kind and always kept his word. If he said we’d make plans to watch a film after work next Tuesday, he kept his promise, showed up on time, always respected me.

Then 6 months in we went through a really traumatic experience (robbed at knifepoint, we worked in a relatively poor developing country where this was not uncommon). But it was a horrible thing to go through together and I developed PTSD as a result. He was my rock.

One day in the middle of all that he’ll, I just knew. I moved countries to be with him and we’ve been together and happily married for a decade now with 2 dc.

I never believed all that rubbish about ‘when you know, you know’. But he was so wonderful and so different to all the assholes I’d dated in the past, I definitely knew.

Jessgalinda · 02/04/2019 19:04

Papayalady I may have ha te lightning bolt moment with dp an I do love him.

He still can be a pain in the arse. So can I. We still bicker. His farts stink etc.

Its not perfect or happily ever after. Buts it's good and we are happy, however, I definitely moan about him. Grin

peachgreen · 02/04/2019 21:11

@Kennehora No - I'm sure I would have dated and quite possibly even married and been happy. But not in the same way.

Kennehora · 02/04/2019 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peachgreen · 02/04/2019 21:39

@Kennehora Yep. I would have laughed at the idea too before I met him. It's ridiculous. But it's true.

Kennehora · 02/04/2019 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Christmastree43 · 02/04/2019 21:49

Totally agree @Kennehora

Aimily · 02/04/2019 21:53

I was definitely in lust when I met my OH, I fancied him and still do 6 years later. It was between 6 months and a year that I fell in love and knew I wanted to be with him forever.
I don't believe in the Hollywood love anymore. I do believe in romantic acts of love which can be mistaken for that Hollywood love.

I do believe there is more than one person for you and you will meet them all, depending when they arrive in your life depends on how long they are there and what kind of love that relationship has.

Aimily · 02/04/2019 21:56

I should make it clear that I don't believe your soulmate is necessarily a romantic partner, they could be a friend.

peachgreen · 02/04/2019 22:03

That's exactly what I would have (and did!) say before I met him. I don't mind anyone disbelieving me, or even making fun of me, because I've been there and mocked the idea of "soulmates" and "the one" mercilessly. But it is what it is!

Still18atheart · 02/04/2019 22:11

I haven’t met the one yet but hope to. But more importantly just wanted to say what a lovely thread this is.

Doghorsechicken · 02/04/2019 22:19

Ours was a slow burn, I’d not long been cheated on by an ex so the last thing I wanted was another relationship. He persisted though and showed me how wonderful and caring he was. I was adamant we’d just stay friends but he was too lovely, I couldn’t let him slip through the net!

Original poster
JaneTheo · 02/04/2019 22:22

@Kennehora I think I probably wouldn’t have known what I was missing, because I wouldn’t have experienced it. So no, not missing out, because I’ve been in other relationships where I’ve felt happy at the time. However, now I have experienced the feeling of meeting someone who I think is the person I was meant to end up with, looking back, I was missing out.

Regardless of whether you believe in the idea of ‘the one’ and ‘soulmates’, it’s nice to look back and share stories of how you met your partner. Because I think all too often, we focus on the tough times and the niggles rather than the nice things. As someone pointed out earlier, life just gets in the way sometimes.

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Closetbeanmuncher · 02/04/2019 22:28

This thread is giving me the warm and fuzziesGrin❤️❤️

NoNameBasis · 03/04/2019 11:56

I have been with my husband since the age of 19. We separated a few months ago. I really did feel and think he was the one when I first laid my eyes on him. I was SO in love and it lasted for years. We were happy and I firmly believed he was the one I would spend my life with. Ironically, it all came crashing down. So I guess "the one" isn't really "the one" - it is "the one right now".

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