After 2 1/2 years in a long distance relationship, my partner gave up a good job in his home country of Italy and moved to London to live with me and my 14 year old daughter. We both decided this together as me moving there was not an option because of my daughter. I did on many occasions tell him it would not be easy and that I thought we should wait until he had a job offer here. He insisted it was what he wanted to do so I agreed. Whilst he was living in Italy he insisted on texting or calling me every 2 to 3 hours daily and if I didn't respond within minutes, he would freak out. He would also always ask why I was on FB or WhatsApp and to whom I was speaking too. At first I thought it was sweet but after some time it really pissed me off and we would fight over the phone about it. I did break up with him many times but he would constantly text and call sometimes over 30 times until finally he would call my family pretending he was worried about me. When I finally replied he would beg me not to end it telling me how much he loved me, and its only difficult because we are so far away. He would also pay for me to go to Italy and we would have the most amazing weekends on a monthly basis. I realise now I was an absolute idiot and I should of finished this relationship whilst he was still there. After moving here, things went down hill very fast and we were arguing regularly. After just a month we had a big fight regarding him asking questions about me at my local pub which I hardly ever go to. I questioned him about this and out of the blue he gave me one huge slap across the face, I walked away from him and went downstairs, he followed me, pushed me onto the sofa, sat on top of me and pinned me down by my wrists, shouting at me. I got away from him and told him to leave he refused and said he had nowhere to go. He also said he cant go back to Italy because if his parents find out its over he is scared it might kill his dad. Anyway the next day my 24 year old son called him to confront him, he returned home and within 20 minutes left my house to stay with his only friend in London. During this time he constantly called and texted me crying and telling me he gave up everything to be with me because he believed in us. I felt bad and responsible so I took him back. 2 months later we had another fight over something stupid. We were both shouting at each other but I wasn't swearing or hitting him, just telling him to leave me alone and go away he then violently grabbed me by my hair, twisted my head and threw me to the floor. I ran away from him but he grabbed me and told me he was sorry. He was crying incessantly and really apologising. He said he had never done that before and I made him so mad. Again he kept telling me how he had sacrificed everything for me, his job, his apartment, friends and family all for me. He tells me this every day. When we fight he demands every penny he has spent on me, accusing me of only being with him for the holidays in Italy, this is not true. Ive told him its over and I cant be with him anymore, I even found him a cheap room to rent where he is living now, but he comes to my house everyday asking me to help him with job applications because his english isn't great and then he acts as if everything is fine between us. He tells me he is afraid of losing me and that he loves me so much. He also says I cant just end this relationship after only 4 months of him leaving Italy to be with me that its not right or fair of me to do that to him. He says he is embarrassed to go back after such a short time because his friends and family told him not to come and it will destroy them all if he returns so soon.
I cant shake this guy off, he wont stop coming to my house, he still has some of his stuff here but refuses to take it with him because he says the room is too small. I know what I should do but I feel responsible for this whole situation and feel guilty for the position he is in now. I know he sacrificed a lot to be with me and we have had some wonderful experiences together. He can be so sweet, loving and charming.
Reading this may sound so pathetic but my head is so screwed up and I'm normally a really strong women. I know this is an unhealthy situation for my daughter but she seems to be oblivious to whats going on and she has never really liked him, just tolerated him because I was happy or at least I thought I was.
Why do I feel like I have to help him get back on his feet?
Am I losing my mind?
Is this guy playing me/ manipulating me?
Any advise would be greatly appreciated!!