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Original poster

AIBU? Is it normal for my best friend to text my fiance?

77 replies

beewritesx · 22/03/2019 11:57

My fiancé came home the other day and told me that my best friend had texted him asking him what he was up to? He thought it was odd but brushed it off and said that she probably meant to text someone else. Anyway, he replied ("Just heading home, why?") and she texted back saying she was bored … so it obviously wasn't meant for somebody else! I decided to leave it and saw her the next day, but she didn't mention anything and I didn't want to bring it up. I know she's had a relationship with a married man before so with that in the back of my mind, I really don't know what to think. Maybe it was totally innocent but it just seems odd. Doesn't help that she's always talking about men that want her & how she's sick of being single. She also talks to him about her love life and asks him why other girls are so nasty to her. Deep down, she's very insecure and has been through a lot of sh** which is why I've tolerated it, but to be honest, my patience is starting to wear thin. I dunno. AIBU?

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 22/03/2019 12:46

I'd mention it too - 'you must have been really bored the other day to resort to texting Dp'. See what she says.

rookiemere · 22/03/2019 12:47

She's 100% sniffing around to see what his reaction is. She's no friend of yours, I'd stop seeing her.

Prequelle · 22/03/2019 12:48

Yeah she would be getting a text from me

Stormyday · 22/03/2019 13:02

I would be having a word with her too.

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2019 13:06

If you trust him, fine. If you don’t, what are you doing in a relationship with him?

Samind · 22/03/2019 13:07

Yeah like PP said, she could of text you to say she was bored and is probably testing to see if he'd text back and if he'd tell you. I wouldn't like it one bit I either and I trust my partner 100%. Are they friends also or just because you're with him?

littleyellowpencil · 22/03/2019 13:09

@BertrandRussell her trust in her fiancé isn't in question here - what an odd thing to say.

Her issue is her "man eater" friend has text her fiancé that she's "bored"

I would just keep an eye on it OP - your fiancé clearly told you straight away so your trust in him isn't in question.

If she texts again - tell him not to reply and simply quash it that way. She will so get genuinely bored.

candlefloozy · 22/03/2019 13:09

My beat friends have my husbands number and I have theirs. But we will literally share jokes or memes. Or take the piss out of each other. But no one would ever message saying what your friend did.

ZenNudist · 22/03/2019 13:10

Does she think she has chemistry with him?

Hanab · 22/03/2019 13:11

@livefornaps Thank you! 🙈maybe she needs a kick up the butt for texting OP’s man. Seriously though she has friends she should not cross the line. I firmly believe there are lines in relationships that should not be crossed🌷

Stormyday · 22/03/2019 13:13

Why is she thinking of him when she is bored?

JaneEyre07 · 22/03/2019 13:13

My so called friend text my DH when we were going through a bad patch to tell him she was there for both of us and told him she'd happily meet up for a drink so he had someone to talk to as well........I still don't know how she got his number.

I'm torn between thinking she's just trying to build a friendship with him.... or she's trying to split you up.

notacooldad · 22/03/2019 13:15

My patience would be thin to OP. In over 23 years of having a mobile and a great group of friends I've never had to text a partner.
I'm not saying there is never a valid reason not to text , of course there are times when it is fine or even necessary but this friend's behaviour is pushing boundaries in my opinion ( or it could be perfectly normal and I'm too old, too uncool and too out of touch with these things!)

peppaaargh · 22/03/2019 13:15

As it was fbook messenger I think he might've just popped up as active now. This keeps happening on mine, like an alert.

She probably just was saying hello Grin

notacooldad · 22/03/2019 13:17

Oops! Sorry, I just realised it was messenger and not text!
Same thing applies though!

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 22/03/2019 13:17

She's not your friend. Get your fiance to block her number and get rid! Friends don't behave like this.

Scrumptiousbears · 22/03/2019 13:17

You need to ask her. No skirting around the issue. Let's face it, how may of us women randomly text a friends DP for no real reason unless they are up to shenanigans.

avocadochocolate · 22/03/2019 13:21

I text my best friend's DP..... we have a similar hobby, so it's usually to do with that. I also send him messages about what to buy my friend for birthday presents, also ask him how his family is etc.

AdoreTheBeach · 22/03/2019 13:21

I had a friend like this once. She started texting my husband, then looking for him on the train to sit next to him. She moved jobs (then drove so I was relieved) to a small firm run/owned by a couple. She started to do this with the husband/owner. She didn’t make it past her probationary period.

She had lots of problems in her marriage and her DH was gone for months at a time. I think she craved male attention.

Moralitym1n1 · 22/03/2019 13:24

*The good news is that he told you and is as confused by it as you are.

The bad news is she is not a good friend if her intentions are to find an 'in' with your OH.

I would keep a distance from her.*

Seconded.

Springwalk · 22/03/2019 13:32

I too would ask dp to block her number to avoid any misunderstandings.

Then I would stop seeing her. You don’t trust her, with good reason.

To my mind she was testing the waters with him. Bad news.

trendingorange · 22/03/2019 13:34

Is she really your best friend?

It's seems bonkers she would do this to a best friend.

I wouldn't like this and I would be very wary of her from now on.

I think she was fishing for sex.

Whoops75 · 22/03/2019 13:38

Tell her you know, I would be confrontational about it, wtf were you doing texting him?
If she makes light of it keep insisting it’s not normal and behavior like that is probably the reason other girls don’t like her.

FriarTuck · 22/03/2019 13:44

She also talks to him about her love life and asks him why other girls are so nasty to her
Next time she asks that maybe he should say 'because you think it's okay to sleep with someone else's partner'...

fluffygal · 22/03/2019 13:57

I had this with OH’s sons girlfriend (now ex). She randomly text him ‘Hey big T, it’s little T- how are you?’ He told me the minute he got it and he just spoke to his son rather than her. His son said she had said he was a hot Dad. His son obviously confronted her. She said there was nothing in it (of course!) and we all had to brush it under the carpet. Luckily she is an ex now though! But like you, there was no reason for it- it was obviously a fishing text- she was actually with his son when she sent the text which was even weirder.