Would welcome thoughts from anyone connected to the navy in any way, firsthand experience rather than hearsay, please.
H joined the navy after we'd been together nearly a decade, I knew nothing about the life, but trusted him to continue to be faithful. We have never lived on a married patch for any length of time due to already owning our own home when he joined. When we did, it was one small street with lovely middle aged ladies with DC, so nothing overtly going on there.
On a few deployments, h has come back and mentioned colleagues (even with partners) seeing prostitutes, going to strip clubs, or hooking up with locals. But he assured me he didn't do any of that.
I recently found out that in his first few years living away from me, on base, he had a two month sexual affair with a trampy old friend of his who had shown an interest before he went into the navy, but had a bf at that time. As soon as as h found out they'd split, he was in there. He planned on leaving me for her, but changed his mind (after telling me he was leaving). I had to contact her to find this out, he denied it even when I told him I knew. Of course, he said he'd been completely faithful since then, and had told me everything. Except he hadn't. It's very difficult to verify things that happen while he's away, but I know he developed a porn addiction while telling me he didn't use it, had looked at a full dating profile and possibly others (just out of curiosity ), and he more recently admitted to a sex club while abroad (it was the only thing open at the time...
), skinny dipping, and holding hands with a female colleague on a night out (he can't remember how it happened, he'd had a few drinks). There are also a few odd things I would normally suspect, such as a bunch of emails deleted from his secondary email acc (linked to gaming console) just before coming home from deployment, a search for tinder on google play while away, etc. So I'm almost convinced there's more, but he won't admit to anything big because his trampy friend was the only one I'd be able to contact and prove. The colleague whose hand he held didn't admit it, just said it was inappropriate and blocked me. No outright denial, but no admission either. Guess they're all too cowardly to be honest.
Anyway, after years of telling me not all navy personnel are cheats and liars, I've found out that he's exactly that. I'm not after comments about my particular situation, I've posted in the hope of getting an accurate picture of how rampant this behaviour is, from ppl who have been in, or closely associated with the navy. Are they practically all at it at one time or another? Should I expect there's more? Oh, and he went in as an officer too, so they're not any better than the younger rank and file. Specifically interested in the UK Royal Navy and the Australian RAN, if that makes a difference.
Thanks. 