Can any gay ladies give me advice ...I really like her,what shall I do?

[sammypre]

I'm bisexual.
Only a few close friends know this.
I really like this lady who is gay (and out ) we get on great and I think we've flirted.
She obviously assumes I'm straight As only 3 people know I'm bisexual.
Shall I tell her? Or hope if we continue flirting and chatting she might ask me out?
Would she ask me out if she doesn't know I'm bisexual.
I'm 38 and she's 39 so should probably have the guts by now to just say but I don't

Why don't you just ask her out?

I'm ridiculously nervous incase I've read it wrong and she isn't interested.
Don't want to look like a fool.

I was hoping she might ask me

Maybe she's too worried about looking like fool to ask a 'straight' woman out! Be bi, be proud! Drop your last girlfriend into conversation. Mention a previous lover. Talk about when you realised you were bisexual. Lots of straight woman 'flirt' with lesbians, she's not a mind reader.

You think it’s more likely that she would ask out a straight woman (as she thinks you are) rather than you ask her out? That’s some weird logic.

I have been flirting back with her,I assumed after that she might ask me out.

What @things said.

Go on OP, do it! Don't be nervous, she won't bite

Ask her out!!

good luck

She's a lesbian, not a psychic.

Try a Joey "how you doin'?" on her or something.

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I think there are things to be aware of here. Not all women who are lesbian are comfortable with those that are bi. Maybe sad but it’s true.

As with any friendship between 2 people where there is sexual attraction at least one way, there is a risk that thoughts/feelings may not be a 2 way thing. But hey, without taking some risks none of us would get anywhere?

Why not keep it casual, go for a coffee or a glass of wine and go for the little touch on the hand, arm etc approach and see what transpires?

Something lovely may happen and if it doesn’t,nothing awkward happens.

I was told that by a close friend,sometimes bi women are seen as possibly being cheats and leaving for a man.
Although I haven't liked a man in that way in 4 years or more.
I've caught her checking me out (or so I thought ) but I guess you never know.
It's hard to know whether to go for it for the fear of making myself look silly.

You are seriously overthinking this.
Just ask her out for a coffee.
If she says no then at least you know.
You won't look silly.
Just ask.

What's worse - possibly looking silly or missing out on a chance for happiness?

Worst that can happen is she says no. It won't kill you.

I would kick myself if I never tell her.
Your right she's not a mind reader
I doubt she even knows i fancy her

Have you ever dated a woman before?

If so, drop her into conversation. "That reminds me of my ex, she was really into fishing. She has this gross picture of her with a dead fish as her dating profile"

Do you work with her or see her in your social group? I wouldn’t suggest flirting in work but outside of work get your flirt on!

A pp mentioned some lesbians don’t like to date bisexual women. I’m sure this is true. I’m bisexual and many of my gay friends agree. Flirting to test the waters and dropping in some random outing comments is all you need without putting yourself out there and risking rejection face to face.

Or.... you could say it all in text and if she’s not interested you can have your embarrassment behind closed doors and put on an ‘I’m okay’ face when you next meet.

You better come back here and let us know how it goes

Yes, yes, forget my suggestions. Go with the dead fish. It’s much more subtle yet gets the information out there

About a month before she knew I was bisexual she randomly started talking about when she first told people she was a lesbian at work.
She told me she was looking for someone (so I know she's single )

So she knows you’re bisexual?

I put a quote on my Snapchat about 3 weeks ish ago ..she seen it so I'm hoping she's worked it out from that
Only a few close friends actually know.

Ask her out, what have you got to lose? I was in your position last year except I'm bi and the girl I liked was straight. She'd never dated women, never even considered it. I asked her after about 3 months of going over and over it in my head. She said yes, 13 months on we're still together.

I spent about 18 months having really strong feelings for a friend who I knew was a lesbian....I was "straight". I thought I'd flirted loads with her....she'd totally missed it because I was "straight".
I had to spell it out. That was almost 6 years ago.....still very happy together.