Should you warn your ex if you think they are in danger?

[magiceyes78]

This is going to sound really weird but please bear with me.

I am a guy & I split up from my ex in 2018 due to a toxic relationship. Since it ended she tried contacting me on a number of times but due to the nature of the relationship I have had to completely ignore her for my own mental health.

I have snooped on her Facebook a few times & I have noticed that she is getting pretty close to a certain guy. I have no idea why but I Googled this guy's name & it came up with a News Report about a guy with the same name (which is quite distinctive) who lives in the exact same area. This report was about a guy been jailed for an assault on a woman back in 2009. I cannot be 100% sure it is the same guy but my gut instinct says it is. I have no idea if my ex is going to even meet this guy but now I am a little worried in case she does.

I know I shouldn't be snooping on her Facebook & it sounds weird that I Googled this guys name but I just had a weird feeling about him.

Any advice would be appreciated.

No not all girls google, I have friends who have been caught out before when I google would’ve saved them a lot of heartache.
If you create a fake profile on Facebook and send her an annonomous message then it probably won’t get to her. If you’re not friends with someone on Facebook the messages end up going to a message request folder.
I recently tried to sell some old furniture on a local Facebook page and I didn’t get any of the messages from people asking to buy it because they didn’t go into my main inbox, they went to a message request file and I didn’t find them for weeks afterwards.

To be honest if you even think it’s the guy, I’d just send her a link to the article, and say just in case it’s the same guy, wish you all the best in life.
And then block her and stop snooping or you’ll never get over her.

Are you on an NHS "God knows how long" waiting list? From what you've said in your reply post, I would recommend the following books Co-Dependent no More - feeling responsible for other people's happiness/welfare is a strong sign of co-dependency CBT For Dummies not really for dummies! (It's a trademark, if you haven't heard of it. If you have then I apologise!) Can really help with managing intrusive thoughts and breaking behaviour patterns

Yeah I am. I already had 8 sessions last year. They promise to contact you within 8 weeks. Its a dedicated service here in West Yorkshire. I have the audio book by Melody beattie (codependent no more) & it is great. I will check out CBT for dummies thank you. My issues led me into the toxic relationship.

No not all girls google, I have friends who have been caught out before when I google would’ve saved them a lot of heartache. If you create a fake profile on Facebook and send her an annonomous message then it probably won’t get to her. If you’re not friends with someone on Facebook the messages end up going to a message request folder. I recently tried to sell some old furniture on a local Facebook page and I didn’t get any of the messages from people asking to buy it because they didn’t go into my main inbox, they went to a message request file and I didn’t find them for weeks afterwards. To be honest if you even think it’s the guy, I’d just send her a link to the article, and say just in case it’s the same guy, wish you all the best in life. And then block her and stop snooping or you’ll never get over her.

That's a good point she may never see it. I could send her an email but then she would definitely know its from me. The only problem here is that she could use it to cause trouble. She could tell this guy what I have done or she could be grateful for my concern. I am not sure which one it would be.

Concentrate on yourself, lad. It sounds like you're well on your way to getting sorted. Don't let this issue derail your progress.

Best wishes from S Yorks!