Online dating - was it my fault I got stood up?

[Newdata]

Haven't been doing online dating long. Have a met a couple of nice guys though hasn't gone anywhere. I'm not especially desperate for a relationship and have found it all quite fun and laidback.

Got talking to a guy a few days ago and it was a nice conversation straight away. We arranged to meet up last night so nothing big since it was a weeknight, just a drink. I've had lots of conversations with people but few I want to actually meet. It needs to flow the right way for me and it did with him.

Anyway we arranged a time when we first organised it and then yesterday he messaged double checking the time. This was at about 2pm. I was working so didn't reply til 4pm confirming the time. This message was seen but not replied to. Then a couple of hours before we were due to meet I sent a message just asking if we will meet out the front of the bar. Not seen and not replied to. Both of us are quite busy and slow to reply so I didn't think much of it and trotted off to meet the the right time. He didn't show up. At the time we were meant to meet I messaged again. Neither of my last two messages were seen, and WhatsApp was showing he hadn't been online since he'd seen my 4pm message.

I was a bit put out as I just really did not expect it from him, I know you don't know anyone but our conversation had been great, very upfront and straightforward no sense of games etc. We have interests in common that we had both expressed we'd like to talk further about if nothing else.

This morning he sent a message apologising, that he'd left his phone at work so therefore couldn't get in touch and asking to rearrange.

The tone of his message suggests he doesn't think I actually turned up and now I'm wondering if it was weird for me to go given the messages not being replied to?? Feel like I shouldn't have gone and feel a bit embarrassed to admit that I did. My friends say no a time was confirmed and nothing was cancelled but I'm not sure. The embarrassment may just come from having been stood up.

Not sure if I'll give him another chance or not my question is more of you would have actually gone to the date in those circumstances?

Sometimes I think it’s easier for people to cancel than turn up.

I wouldn't give him a second chance, he didn't want to risk wasting his time if you didn't show but was quite happy for you to risk wasting yours. He was the one who forgot his phone and couldn't be contactable so the onus should have been on him to turn up just in case. Really crappy behaviour. And that's generously assuming he's telling the truth and didn't just decide to slack off without bothering to tell you.

He asked to confirm, you confirmed, you showed, your time is just as valuable as anyone else's. At the very least he could have borrowed a phone/gone online to get a message to you?

I think you maybe need to raise your expectations and standards. It's all very well being forgiving and understanding, that's great. But to stand someone up is actually disgusting behaviour and a nasty, cowardly thing to do. It's not just 'a bit thoughtless' to have someone look forward to/experience nerves and other emotions yet still have to courage to get themselves ready, probably put a lot of thought into an outfit, arrange and pay for childcare, book and pay for transport, walk into a bar and then sit there for nothing other than complete humiliation.