Young children ? Will you stay married, after your children leave home9 say in 10-15 yrs) ?

[Oblomov]

Many people stay for the sake of children don't they ?
I can't wait till ds (3.5) leaves home . Then I will ahve my lovely dh all to myself again. I mean this tongue-in-cheek. But seriously, will I be married, in a loving relationship, in 15 years time ? I like to think so .
Can you say the same ?
Do you neglect you dh, and focus on the children. Will you have a relationship left, with dh, when the children are gone ?

I really hope so. We have no current problems in our relationship. Was happy together for 12 years before we had DD, so I am sure we will continue to be happy as she grows up and eventually leaves home. Something drastic would have to change for it to fall apart.

So, I definitely hope so and we are definitely planning on sticking together!

I'm not married now.

No idea how I'll feel in 10-15 years' time. A decade ago I had no idea I'd be here now. How can I tell how I, or my children's father, will feel in 2020?

And I have no idea if I 'neglect' him or not. I am quite busy. So is he.

I may be dead in 10-15 years, so I've never been one to speculate on the future much more than say, a year or two.

Expat, I could be knocked over by a bus tomorrow. I do live for the now, but a bit of forward planning, seems reasonable

Are you sure ds will leave home in 15 years time?
These days even if he goes to uni he might not be able to afford to go anywhere other than his home town one and could well still be with you when he's 30

15 years, though?

Living your life for what may or may not happen in 15 years?

No, can't say I think about that at all.

God forbid compo. I know, I know. Come back home and live with us, with your druggie girlfriend. And I'll do all your washing.

No point staying in a realtionship, if your not in it for the long term. I know we can grow apart. Maybe I shouldn't have specified the years. You get the idea.

I sometimes think our marriage takes so many hits because we focus so much on the kids, I'm just getting through the young children bit and then perhaps I'll have time and motivation to fix my marriage. That's my half baked plan, but I'm just blundering through at the moment.

I can't imagine what life will be like in 15 yrs time (hopefully easier than now as the kids will be 18, 20 and 22 ) - but I'm not planning on getting divorced anyway.

We are not currently together 'because of the children' and we have a good laugh together. We aren't 'plodding' - so that's good for now anyway!

Definitely (Said with general small print disclaimer of existence of random buses, being a long way off etc). After all that hard work, we can sit back enjoy the peace and quiet! Plus what's the point in separating when I'm old and wrinkly no one else but my darling husband will have me?

I think we'll still be together yes, both my on-laws and my ex's aprents plit after the kids elft home, wasted a lot of tume then.

who knows for sure what life may bring?

Absolutely....I married him for him, not his sperm donation.

I hope so - I need someone to look after me in my old age

I have no idea really. Considering I didn't really have a relationship when we had the kids, I guess it will be new territory for both of us .

Yeah of course. Me and dh have loads of fun! This morning we were talking about this weekend and the chores and deciding what we were going to do, but instead of discussing it normally, we were doing it in the style of Wonderpets.

We need to hOOver
This is SERious

It's this sort of stuff that keeps you close.

Or has you sectioned............

For me - absolutely planning to. Something really drastic would have to happen for that not to be the case.

For my parents - ha ha ha - my brother's still at home and he's 29 this month!! Not what they'd envisaged their 50s to be like I'm sure.

Fully intend to be with my partner till death do us part. We might even get married once the children have left home

Atleast mytwopence and her dh will ne sectioned, together. We wanna togever

wanna be togever

We have a good relationship and we also spend a lot of time with the children. I'm a stay at home mum and quite AP with regards to behaviour and how I bring the children up. I love my husband and wouldn't want to be without him. I believe we're soulmates. We've been through some tough times but we got through them and now we're even stronger. Our children are our focus now but we also have time for each other. There is nothing we don't talk about and I love him dearly. He's a food father and husband even though sometimes we argue it's nothing we haven't been able to sort out.

I hope and believe that we'll still be together in 10-15 years time. We have a 5 year old, 3 year old and 6 month old so our children will still be living at home by then.

I really truely hope so.

I'm not saying anything about me on this thread but do people really think that succesfully and happily coming together/staying together with a partner to bring up children is waste of time? that if you're not in it for the long term (which I assume includes post-children) there's no point in being in it at all? if you're a good team, and a happy family what's so wrong with seeing a relationship in these terms? do we all have to go for the marry for love/life model? Maybe when the kids have left dh and I will drift; maybe we will fall madly in love with each other all over again. But not knowing doesn;t mean we're wasting our time now. I rather think we're doing an ok job of bringing up a family, working together as a team, supporting each other, making each other laugh sometimes.

I have no idea whether I'll still be married in 10-15 years' time. I hope so.

I don't know whether I 'neglect' him. We have both had to sacrifice some of our 'us' time since having children.

Oblomov, you seem to be the author of several mildly smug threads atm.