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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP Drunk and frightening

56 replies

Iamneverfull · 24/02/2019 21:51

My partner has been out drinking all day. He came back quite jolly and being silly but he's suddenly turned nasty and I'm now feeling quite scared. It started with me eating some left over pizza which he assumed I would leave, he was disappointed it had gone but refused to eat anything. He fell asleep and I knew he would wake up hungry and i felt bad that I ate the pizza so I started making him something. He woke up is so drunk that he thinks I've left the oven on for half an hour and forgotten, he has been aggressively shouting how he didn't want anything and how I could have blown up the house. He's still shouting and talking to himself. I'm in my daughters room and he keeps coming in shouting still. I feel sick and shaky. I don't know what to do, he won't calm down and I've been here before a few years ago and it went on until the early hours of the morning.

OP posts:
Nodrama999 · 24/02/2019 21:53

Is your daughter in her room? If so, please leave her room. Don’t bring your children into it.

Iamneverfull · 24/02/2019 21:54

No she is away on holiday

OP posts:
LaughingCow99 · 24/02/2019 21:54

Is your daughter with you? I would advise getting out of the house if you can do it safely. Go to a friend, hotel, anywhere where you are safe.

CloudyTuesday · 24/02/2019 21:54

Pack a bag and take your daughter elsewhere - family, friend, hotel.

Return tomorrow only to LTB. I'd be damned if I was going to spend the rest of my life cowering and shielding my child from a nasty, abusive, bullying drunk.

poppingoff · 24/02/2019 21:55

No she is away on holiday

Perfect.

Leave. Right now.

Schmoozer · 24/02/2019 21:55

Get out. Don’t be his verbal punch bag or worse.

Bananalanacake · 24/02/2019 21:56

How often does it happen. Though once would be enough to make me leave.

Iamneverfull · 24/02/2019 21:58

Last time I left he barricaded himself in the house, i had to stay at my brothers with my daughter for 2 weeks. Several years have passed and this is the first time its happened since then. I keep thinking I'm being a drama queen, I just hate shouting and I feel so confused by what he is saying

OP posts:
NotStayingIn · 24/02/2019 21:59

Can you afford to stay in a hotel? I would leave straight away. I think unless you make a big gesture such as not staying in the same house as him he will not really believe you tomorrow when you tell him what he did. If you stay, I don't think he will really believe just what a scary shit he is being. When he is sober and realises what he did you can then decide what to do next. But for now, get out if you can.

mineofuselessinformation · 24/02/2019 22:00

Call the police - now.

Grumpyoldblonde · 24/02/2019 22:00

Seriously get out of the house, can you go to family, a hotel?

Nobody should live like this.

NotStayingIn · 24/02/2019 22:00

If you are still there record him. What an arse.

LaughingCow99 · 24/02/2019 22:01

This isn't normal. He is out of control and could hurt you

wigglypiggly · 24/02/2019 22:01

Can you call family or friend to come and collect you

NotStayingIn · 24/02/2019 22:01

Only record him if its save to do so of course. I still think you need to get out. So sorry OP, must be horrid. Flowers

Iamneverfull · 24/02/2019 22:03

I really don't want to leave, my daughter and i have nowhere to go apart from my brothers. He doesn't deserve to keep the house in my eyes. My parents are coming down tomorrow. I think I will ask my dad to ask him to leave as he wouldn't otherwise. It never gets better does it. It's a shame because he is mostly lovely when he is sober. I'm terrified of starting again, its so scary. I keep thinking of things I will struggle with etc.

OP posts:
poppingoff · 24/02/2019 22:04

Last time I left he barricaded himself in the house, i had to stay at my brothers with my daughter for 2 weeks. Several years have passed and this is the first time its happened since then.

Then this time you don't go back, unless you can get him out of the house permanently instead. What's the set up with the house?

madcatladyforever · 24/02/2019 22:05

Call the police now. They will remove him.

C0untDucku1a · 24/02/2019 22:05

Is he your daughter’s father? Your dd deserves better. You deserve better. Leave him properly this time.

C0untDucku1a · 24/02/2019 22:06

Get your parents to bring new locks too.

Is it rented / owned what?

Iamneverfull · 24/02/2019 22:06

My daughter is home tomorrow evening. I would like him gone by then. It's definitely not going to be easy. He's given up now, i think he's gone to bed. I cant hear anything. He kept saying..just admit you forgot about the oven and I will stop etc shut the door eventually and now nothing. An improvement on last time!

OP posts:
Myyearmytime · 24/02/2019 22:08

Call the police .
get it documented .
You will.need proof he behaves like this

NotStayingIn · 24/02/2019 22:09

If you are staying definitely do record him, discretely and safely. Leave phone on but obviously don't point it at him, you just need audio. It's always better to have this stuff rather than not have it. And I'm so sorry you are worried about the future. You will do so well on your own, don't worry. Don't stay in a bad relationship out of fear for the future. You deserve a great happy safe life. Big hug x x x

MrsJayy · 24/02/2019 22:09

Just go to your brothers or anywhere leave the house for tonight don't think about what ifs you deserve to feel save he obviously isn't in a state to reason with tonight. Contact your parents get them to collect you from whereever you are.

Iamneverfull · 24/02/2019 22:09

It's owned. My deposit and then 50/50 payment into the mortgage. My dad will hopefully offer to buy him out of his share (with solicitors etc). It's such a shame because he's so nice the rest of the time but its not worth these moments.

OP posts:
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