Think he's cheating?

[underthe]

So about a year ago I found a app on my boyfriend phone when I was looking for his music app 🤦‍♀️ it was a dating app he couldn't of had it long as there wasn't much on there only a picture of himself to a person saying hey this is a picture of myself just in case you want to know what I look like. I asked him about it he said he don't know what I'm talking about he even deleted the app ect till I showed him the screenshot then he was like I was just seeing what it was ect, now today I switched of his alarm for work and it came up with a selfie he has taken last night he slept on the sofa, I asked and he deleted it and said he don't know what I'm taking about 😭 till I got up his deleted pictures and it was there he said he hasn't done anything and he was embarrassed that I seen the selfie he has been taken there was more then one in his deleted pictures! I'm worried he set up a website or something? I'm I bring to over the top! 😭

The dating app is a real worry of course. I'm not sure what your point is about the selfie. Sleeping on the sofa is ok as a one-off or if someone is unwell or working late, but if fine regularly for no reason it's often a sign of a person withdrawing intimacy.

How long have you been together. Any kids or joint finances?

Together 5 years 2 little girls we live together he was on the sofa last night because we had a argument 😭 im worried the selfie was to send to someone or set up a new app! He said he only deleted it because he was embarrassed but why if it's only a selfie? He's saying he hasn't don't anything and has gone work now

So, i take selfies and pics to send to people I talk to online.

Sleeping on the sofa makes it possible to play (sext, video sex) with someone.

He may have an online thing going on.

You said about intimacy, are sex life is great when we can do it 😂 2 under 2 and he works a lot but then we have time it's great, at least a few times aweek x

I'm not trying to worry you..

But i do know that some men who cheat are getting sex at home, they just want something/someone else as well

I'm just not sure what to do? I don't think he's ever been with someone behind my back in real life but even if it was online I wouldn't stay with him, but to brake our family up over a picture I don't know 🤷‍♀️

At the moment you have two, maybe three known facts.

He once was on an app, he took a selfie and he slept on the sofa.

It could be nothing, it could be something.

I'd keep calm and see if anything else strikes you as out of the ordinary.

Also, even if he was playing with someone, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you, want you or your relationship. It's not about replacing you, it's just about having something more.

To be honest I told him to sleep on the sofa last night, I wouldn't care about the reason if he did or has done it, it would be over! I always worry about things like this

Also, even if he was playing with someone, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you, want you or your relationship. It's not about replacing you, it's just about having something more.*

Ofgs, it's the it's ok to cheat advocate here to tell everyone it's ok to have online affairs, just because she does

No op, if he's cheating it's because he doesn't love you or respect you in the slightest. It's because he's a selfish bastard only thinking about his dick and he wouldn't do that to you if he actually cared.

From what you described you have a very real problem and the likelihood he's cheating online is high. Id wait and watch and wait for him to slip up again. And Screenshot if you find anything else.
The fact you don't trust him already I'd seriously be thinking of getting my ducks in a row anyway.
Shit way to live.

I don't think there is a valid reason, he would be a cunt if he has I do everything for this family! I'm not sure if he has or if I'm over thinking it, have to see what he say later on when he gets home from work I guess

I don't understand the worry about a selfie. I take them all the time, just messing about on the phone. I don't use them for anything.

@SallyWD only worrying me as he deleted it after I asked he said he deleted it because he knew I would think he's sending them to someone he was fully dressed lol
He don't hide his phone or anything so that must be a good thing right?

This is the screenshot I have that was it, not sure if it was a dating website or a chat thing, he said he was just seeing what was on there 🤷‍♀️

The app was called kik

Kik is a messaging app - it's the kind of thing a person might use to exchange numbers after chatting on a dating site. Which to me that sounds like. The "x"s would be a concern for me. Sorry. By having his convos in kik, it would be something you would have to look for to find - rather than see them in his messages.

@LilQuim I went over the whole app I couldn't find anything, he know I use his phone, he said he forgot it was on there! I will ask when he's home from work and kids are in bed

Kik is one of the classic next steps after meeting someone online. It's like WhatsApp but anonymous and no phone number. I would be highly suspicious of this interaction.

I have never heard of it before

I'm sorry but he is obviously wanting attention elsewhere ... why would he want someone to knows what he looks like ... and he had the app on his phone yet he couldn't explain it ..... like the others say it not mean he don't love you but maybe day day life gets mundane and he was looking for a little excitement .. maybe he won't take it further but he's getting attention elsewhere which is good for his ego give him a boost ..

I couldn't ignore it and would have to have it out with him .... if the shoe was on the other foot how would he feel

Sorry OP, you know well that he’s not trustworthy. In no universe is all this innocent. Not sure what else to say to you. This is a position a billion women before you have found yourselves in. Many just sit it out ‘wondering’ but really they know.

Kick is a clever app to you have photo bombs which disappear after so many second so you wouldn't find anything on there

Yourselves was meant to be ‘themselves’. It sounds rude saying yourselves but that was autocorrect!

Does he use reddit? There's 100s of subreddits where ordinary girls post up their nudes and men can upvote their pictures. Some of the girls are willing to chat to these guys and send more private pictures and they use kik for this. It's basically more interactive and advanced use of porn. Still cheating imo, but plenty of guys are doing this and see it as harmless fun.

I honestly feel sick, I thought I was being over the top with it all, looks like I'm going to be a single mum to 3 kids 😭 my whole life is collapsing around me.

Exactly what @leigh39 said Kick is a clever app to you have photo bombs which disappear after so many second so you wouldn't find anything on there

It's pretty much specifically set up for secret messaging. It also has apps within the app a bit like Tinder...

Kik messenger also offers internal apps through its browser encouraging users to remain within the app itself. These internal apps include stickers apps, meme generators, games and dating style apps that allow users to chat with new contacts which may be concerning for parents.
Two such apps are Match & Chat and Flirt! Match & Chat works in a similar way to Tinder, matching users by ages, gender etc. What is worrying about Match & Chat is the ease with which a user can chat to others users of any age they want. For example users can select to chat to teens users, users in their 20’s,30’s etc.
The Flirt! App also available through the Kik browser presents users with a list of new users within their age range to chat to. Again, users can easily pretend to be someone else, give a different age on their Kik account etc.