Living with new partner and his 2 children

[lady11]

Hi
I'd like to run something past everyone as I'm looking for opinions/guidance.
I have recently moved into my new partner's home which he shares with his two children who he has 50% custody of. My partner lives in rented accommodation and my name has not been added to the rent account or bills. He does not claim half of the child benefits - all those benefits are paid solely to the children's' mother. He also has a lot of personal debt. I am not clear on how much I should be contributing in terms of bills and food. As there are three of us in the household (firstly my partner, secondly his two children and thirdly me) is it fair of me to say that I should only contribute 1/3 of the cost of the weekly food bill and household bills or should I be expected to pay half of the food bill and household bills? At the moment I am paying the entire weekly food bill for us all plus the monthly gas bill, monthly electricity bill and monthly council tax bill.

That's very quick to move in. Why the hurry? Did you have a housing problem yourself?

No I felt trapped in an unhappy marriage. He came back into my life and turned my head. Thought my life wouldn't be unhappy or "boring" anymore. Should have done my homework! He certainly is not the same man he was when I knew him years ago

Ah, you needed to use him as an excuse to break free. You've gone from one bad relationship to another.

How about you move out and live on your own for a while? Say to him you've realised you should have learned to live alone before moving on. Date this guy if you two still have enough that's good.

Did he move to a more expensive place to be with you or did you move into his place?

You need to not look to someone else to make your life not boring, you need to establish yourself from what you're saying. Get yourself your own interesting life by putting the effort in and then see who's around you. Maybe settled life isn't for you yet, it can be pretty mundane and worse without money to get out socialising.

Boring isn’t commonly associated with step parenting, so you’re right about that!

But it does come with the sort of excitement and conflict a lot of people prefer to avoid.

It’s good you’re out of your unhappy marriage. This man and his complicated life isn’t going to make you happy.

Seven months is very quick to move in together, especially as you've just come out of a marriage too.