POF

[brook1ands]

Hoping someone can help. Been talking for a week or so with a guy on Plenty of Fish. We are getting on really well and have now started swapping sexy messages and sexy photos on kik messenger. I am now thinking he is an imposter and is a fake profile and I am worried about the photos we have swapped. Can anyone help?

Have you called him? or Spoken to him verbally?

Try finding him on social media and message on that, the likelihood is that if they are on numerous social platforms they probably aren't fake.

If you are worried about anything then you should contact plenty of fish for help.

No we have not spoken. What can POF do about it?

What makes you think he's an imposter?

He will not meet in person or give me his phone number

I'm afraid neither of those things mean he's an imposter, just that he's not interested for whatever reason in having a "real" relationship with someone in person. I would stop immediately with whatever messaging you've been doing, block him, and not allow things to get to that stage again with someone you don't know. Sorry to be blunt, but it's really unwise to exchange sexy pictures with someone that you don't trust, and you can't possibly trust someone who you've only known for a week online.

POF can look into it in a legal matter, should be able to clarify if hes real or not. Send an email to them asking for advise or assistance they have a legal responsibility to protect you while using their service.

Kik is notorious for fakers. Its dodgy if someone won't even give you a phone number

And I'm Sorry I have to Agree with GraceMarks on this.

in the future if you don't know them or Trust them would steer clear of sending such personal pictures and info.

His probably married or just not that in to meet you, just wants to wank off to your photos.

Golden rule, if you want to send pics NEVER have you face in them!

Not really much you can do to be honest

POF can’t and won’t do anything. Its a free site and anyone can sign up with no more than a made up name and email address. Lesson learned not to send pictures you wouldn’t want to go any further to anybody, and particularly never to somebody you haven’t met.

I have had my face in some yes 😢

You've no choice than to move on from it but never ever do it again. If you want genuine connections and meet ups, just don't engage in sex talk before meeting. It might be exciting but rarely is it fulfilling.

Unless thats what you are after, just fun, thats fine, but still never use your face.

I am sure there are exceptions, but never have i ever had an experience or known of someone who starts sexting asking for pics very soon before meeting up/any actual dating taking place, never have they been genuine, normal, nice blokes with good intentions. Either total gross weirdos or normal seeming but, entitled, sleazy man-children if you dig even slightly below the surface.

Unless you want hook up or sexting only, steer clear. Try not to beat yourself up, just think about yourself and your own safety in future.

He's probably just been using you to wank over, anyone who's wanting to do that kind of thing with a complete stranger is only ever going to be in it for a cheap thrill and will be doing it with countless others hence the reluctance to meet etc. Always bored me to death personally but learn your lesson and don't repeat it.

Are you looking for a relationship or just sex?

Never ever ever send pics like that to a total stranger.
In fact never send pics like that over the WWW!
Please learn from this.
POF can't do anything about it.
You did it willingly via Kik which they have nothing to do with.
Keep all conversations civil until you meet in person.
Arrange to meet quickly to weed out the oddballs.
There's nothing you can really do about this other than ghost him.

Never send intimate pictures to anybody over the internet unless you are comfortable with the fact that one day the whole world may be able to see them.

Sending (naked/partially clothed??) photos of yourself with your face in to someone you’ve only known for a week sound like a really really bad idea!

I feel used and stupid. I genuinely thought he wanted a relationship with me. He was the first guy to treat me well in ages and made me feel sexy and desireable again. I thought I had found my soul mate 😰

You thought you found your soul mate after a week of messaging ?!

@brook1ands are you fairly new to online dating?

Unfortunately it's full of people looking for a cheap wank. Use it as a learning experience, but in future bear in mind that if anyone tries the 'sex chat' early on, you will not be the only person they're doing it with and it's highly unlikely they're wanting a proper relationship. Plus it's hardly an attractive trait for you in a potential partner is it?? 'Wanks with strangers on the internet??' I found it generic and boring until I properly got to know someone so would always shut anyone down who remotely hinted towards it.

If you're genuinely looking to meet someone via OLD you should check out the dating thread on here and read the rules!!

@brook1ands

No judgement here, everyone regrets things they've done it's part of real life.

But it may be worth considering if you're quite ready to date if the speed and content of messaging so rapidly ramped up.

Keep your safety hat on please as we'd never want a fellow MNetter to be in harms way by giving away too much trust in essentially a stranger

And sorry to say as It's so cliche but I've learned the hard way that (for me at least) the best time to date really is when you're totally cool in your own company and thinking yep it'd be nice to meet someone great eventually but it may take a fair while... helps me make my best decisions and keep a level head when someone seems too good to be true.

Sorry if that sounded patronising as I'm certainly now expert, just sharing my experience

Anyone that asks for this kind of intense messaging in such a short space of time is a massive red flag. Never send naked pics to anyone. That way you can be sure they'll never get into the wrong hands. Why would you think after a week this was serious without even meeting up. He's probably married and messages loads of people. POF is notorious for people just wanting sex and cheap thrills. If I were you, I would delete the account and block him on everything and put it down to a shitty experience.

Should I go to the police?

Go to the police? And say what? You sent pics of you bits to a bloke you don't know. Grow up

Don't feel too bad about it, just treat it as a lesson learned and move on. You sound to me like you're a rather lacking in confidence if you think that somebody sexting you over Kik counts as "treating you well". Your soulmate would not be using you for a quick, cheap thrill or encouraging you to send identifying nudes!

In the nicest possible way, do you think online dating is the best way forward for you? It's full of people who don't have good intentions and who will tell you whatever you want to hear if they think it will get them what they want. You really have to be quite savvy to avoid being drawn in by one of these types and, sorry, but you come across as way too naive for that game.

Don't think the police can do anything if you've voluntarily send nudes to an anonymous person online. He hasn't actually done anything to report.