How much effort do you make for your partner on a daily basis?

[sparkles87]

To give some context to my question..

I'm a stay at home mum with a 10 week old baby.
Last night I went in a bath, as I do most night for half hour peace! I knew hubby wanted sex, he'd asked.. anyway, I got out the bath, put on my pjs and went downstairs.. my husband asked me what pants I'm wearing so I said, none because I wasn't. He went quiet, I asked what's up, he said nothing, I rolled my eyes and said tell your face that then. About 10 minutes later he said.. you never make an effort you haven't even put nice pants on.. so I said yeah and your point.. he starts mumbling that I never want it and never make an effort (how he comes to this just because I haven't put pants on I'll never understand), so I get arsy and tell him he's an unreasonable pig and take the baby to do the bedtime routine.. he doesn't come to bed before I go to sleep and this morning he left without saying anything.

So my question is how much effort do you make for sex on a general day to day basis, I don't mean special occasions, rare child free evenings or anything like that.. because on those times I would dig out the best underwear and make an effort.

Was he wearing nice pants?

I make no effort at all on a day to day basis op. My husband loves me in my pyjamas or in nice knickers, doesn't matter to him!

Are you ok to be having sex after only 10 weeks? Do you even want sex? These are much bigger issues than your pyjamas. I'm not liking the sound of your husband tbh

Tell him that you’ve just had his baby. What’s his super power?

Ha, I never make an effort for sex! must be a bad wife.
I'm a SAHM to two young DC's with a third on the way, the last time I 'dressed up' for sex was before our first DC was born about 2 and a half years ago.... DH would and does happily have sex with me even if I'm slobbing about in Disney pj's and have managed to shower for two days.
Maybe we're just gross though?

I'd say we have sex an average of twice a month and while I would like more, I'm shattered and touched out from raising young kids, he's shattered from helping with night wakings and work!

Haven't managed *

He does sound like a complete idiot from this post, but he isn't. Sometimes his man parts take over his brain.. and I'm by far a push over..

My reply was when you start brushing your teeth everyday I'll consider wearing nice pants..

There are no issue in our relationship.. he'll sulk and come home tonight with his tail between his legs and his brain switched back on., it just got me wondering what's normal and what's not..

How very dare you not put on fancy knickers under your pyjamas for your husband.

What a dickish attitude.

I don't think I got properly dressed for 6 months after our baby was born.
Sometimes I make an effort sometimes I don't.
What effort did he do for you? Shower, shave nice pants? Brush teeth?

Tell him to buy some 'nice pants' and make an effort.The idea that a woman has to put on a show for their partner boils my blood.

Oh , and also , making time to stay awake for sex is making an effort when your baby is so small and sapping all of your energy.

I hope you get your apology op.

@GlossyTaco
I completely agree with you.. and my husband has been with me long enough to know that because of his little tantrum he isn't going to see any nice pants for a long time now out of pure stubbornness

What are nice pants exactly? My husband would be chuffed if f I wasn't wearing any!

In terms of effort. I shower, brush my hair, put on a bit of mascara - however none of these things are done specifically to please him!

He's a sexist prick who expects service from a woman. This shit always comes out when a baby arrives because you now have other priorities.

My reply was when you start brushing your teeth everyday I'll consider wearing nice pants

I'm sorry, what?!

When I had a 10 week old baby, sex and wearing nice pants was the furthest thing from my mind. What an arse.

He doesn't brush his teeth?...that's the absolute bare minimum.

Are you serious about the toothbrushing??! Either way, he's being an ass.

I wear nice pants everyday but not for my husband and I’ve not just had a baby.

You won't be wearing pants for sex so why is he bothered what you wear before hand?

It sounds like someone is jealous of not being centre of your world anymore and is sulking.
A freshly washed body is perfect for sex (oh they want it too) knickers or none!
If he genuinely has a problem he should have approached you like an adult to air his insecurities. He needs to grow up and start having an adult relationship.

After 10 weeks? Dearie me! 🤦‍♀️

He doesn’t brush his teeth?

Wow! I’d think the bath was a good effort! He’s a bit of a self absorbed pig.

I was all ready to come on and say yes, I make an effort for DH by making sure food he likes is in the shop and he has a cup of tea when working at home and that I take the kids even longer than I already am so he can do a run/exercise for his mental health....

I don't make any effort in regard to nice underwear, and he gets more excited if he finds out I'm not wearing any! You're not alone in this lol

I almost never wear underwear so on that basis, none whatsoever!

I am gonna be honest. I always wear underwear that I know dp will like. But it's also got to be comfy. He will do similar things, make sure his hair is done and he is dressed smart if I am seeing him, or he is at mine and I am coming home from works.

Although, he usually prefers me just naked.

But we haven't been together that long AND don't have a 10 week old baby.