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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

"Breakup" text wording?

65 replies

LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:06

Hi lovelies. This is one in need of quick turnaround, as I need to address this tonight (Sunday).

Been seeing guy for a few months, but only meet up at his, shag, then I go home. We don't even see each other that regularly. It's 1 1/4hr drive for me each way. Basically, it's not what I want, but I've kind of said this before, then seen him again.

He's really lovely, and he's done nothing wrong, it's just not for me.

How do I word this? He sent me text with words to Adele's "Hello" earlier as I haven't texted him.

I was thinking "hey, sorry not been in touch. Been thinking about a lot of stuff & I guess I'm looking for a very different thing to you. I'm too old for a fuckbuddy."

Ughhhhhhh. Help!!

OP posts:
DameIfYouDo · 10/02/2019 19:09

Hi, I've been cooling things off as I feel our relationship is just centred around sex and I'm looking for more than that in a relationship. I've had some lovely times with you and wish you luck in the future.

Something like that?

pococops · 10/02/2019 19:10

I've enjoyed our time together, however thinking through things, I think we're looking for different things...
or something to that effect!

LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:11

@DameIfYouDo that is perfect! Thank you. I'm a bloody nightmare & don't want to hurt his feelings, but I need to be honest about not wanting just sex.

OP posts:
Grumpelstilskin · 10/02/2019 19:11

"It's not me, it is you. Anyone who quotes a crap song is unacceptable as BF. Smell you later"

There! Job done! Grin

LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:12

@pococops spot on! I knew posting to ask would get results!! Thank you.

OP posts:
LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:12

@Grumpelstilskin hahahahahahahaha! I did reply "did you just quote Adele??"

OP posts:
DameIfYouDo · 10/02/2019 19:14

Let us know how it goes. Hopefully no hearts broken.

LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:16

Sent this

I’ve really enjoyed seeing you, but been thinking things over, and I really think we’re looking for very different things. I don’t want us to waste time thinking we’ll end up on the same page. X

OP posts:
DameIfYouDo · 10/02/2019 19:17

Perfect.

LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:17

@DameIfYouDo I feel sick! I'm so fucking co-dependent! But I need to be honest & I feel we're just going along thinking very different things. I guess I thought it would "develop".

OP posts:
DameIfYouDo · 10/02/2019 19:19

Ye, it's disappointing when things just don't go in the direction you want. Ah well! Plenty more fish in the sea. Hopefully you find someone lovely soon.

Completelyfine · 10/02/2019 19:21

I don’t think it’s clear you want to break up in that text!

category12 · 10/02/2019 19:22

I'd have been a bit rougher tbh, cos it sounds really unsatisfactory, who would want that? Total lack of effort.

letsdolunch321 · 10/02/2019 19:22

You have sent the text, now try and busy yourself. Easier said than done I know

pococops · 10/02/2019 19:22

Well done Lil, you've done the right thing. It's awful to gave to do, but worse going along with it then ending up more hurt further down the line. Let us know how he reacts.Flowers

LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:27

@DameIfYouDo I've actually been asked out for coffee this week, but that's not a perfect situation either. I do despair! Grin

OP posts:
LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:28

@Completelyfine really??? Oh God!! I was hoping he'd read it & never reply! Confused

OP posts:
LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:29

@letsdolunch321 yeah, I'm going to watch some shit tv. Got procedure at hospital in the morning, so I need to make sure I've got my shit together for that too. You know when something else has taken up your headspace & you think you've forgotten something?! Hmm

OP posts:
CinnabarRed · 10/02/2019 19:30

I sort of read that text as an invitation to see if you could both get on the same page...

LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:30

@pococops thanks darling. I think he's a lovely, gentle guy, but that's not what I want. Sure he'll be fine about it. Lol

OP posts:
LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:32

@category12 thing is I think he might think it's all I wanted. I'm really crap at discussing "where this is going" as I assume it'll develop.

OP posts:
LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:33

@CinnabarRed oh really? Shit. That wasn't what I wanted him to think!! Eeeeek. At my age, I should be better at this. But I haven't "dated" in years.

OP posts:
EmmaC78 · 10/02/2019 19:34

I also don't read that as breakup text!

LilQuim · 10/02/2019 19:35

@EmmaC78 oh no! I can't face texting more to clarify!

sorry, that was a text to say the sex isn't worth a 2.5hr drive

OP posts:
letsdolunch321 · 10/02/2019 19:36

LilQuim I hear ya when all you can think about is one thing.

Prepare a list of things your need to take with you tomorrow. Watch shit tv and chill. The guy is probably sulking in his man cave lol. His problem not yours.

Good luck tomorrow 💐

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