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Original poster

Husband sexting another girl

99 replies

02gurro · 08/02/2019 06:27

Hi everyone, I haven't slept all night, I'm absolutely heartbroken and just want this to go away 😢 I found out yesterday that my husband (aged 23) has been sexting a 16 year old girl who's still at school, she sought me out and sent me screenshots but previously told me 5 days, ago I just didn't believe it as I thought he'd never do that to me, even after seeing evidence yesterday he spent hours denying it lying until he had to give in. We only married 3 months ago I'm devistated! We're both so happy and I always thought I'm one of the lucky girls who has a guy that thinks the world of his partner and would never cheat. We are literally each others best friends. I just found out Im pregnant aswell yesterday with our first (I have a 6 Yr old already) we've been trying since the wedding and was so excited to begin our married life together. I don't know what to do now 😭 I've been treated badly in my past relationships too and he knew this. He's been messaging her when I'm in the room with him or asleep, even when we got home from viewing a property together and before/after a romantic date. To top it off he's been bringing up he's married to make the conversation naughty and she's even said stuff like she'd f**k him better than his wife. He found her first and messaged her when I was asleep on the sofa tired from becoming pregnant which I didn't know at the time. She's just a stranger off the Internet why would he be so desperate when his home life/sex life is so good! I moved away with him aswell and now live someone with no family or friends I'm completely alone. Humiliated to say the least that my family attended our wedding recently and everyone loves him.

OP posts:

02summer · 09/02/2019 11:26

@loka123 yes this was all exactly my thinking. Everything he says makes absolutely no sense and he's shown to me he's clearly not all there and right in the head to do this. Even if he never done something like this again I can't get past the fact that he did in the first place anyway.
As to him with my daughter I do disagree there though. I've known a few guys in my time that get off on the idea of younger girls (not under 16) but that doesn't make them an actual pedophile, that's a whole different level, because remember 16 is the legal age for an adult to have relations with, even though it is sick still to think of. Unfortunately alot of men think its alright to have sex with a 16 year old and I've actually been disgusted by how many men I've known that have done this. They think because its legal it makes it alright.

Loka123 · 09/02/2019 14:50

@02summer It is really good that you're able to see that he's blatantly lying etc. as a lot of people, their emotions usually cloud reason and logic and they always make excuses for their partner but it's good you don't.

I do agree that sometimes people are too quick to label someone a paedophile and is silly if the youngest girl a man has chased is 16. In my view, paedophile is more someone who is clearly a child e.g. babies, toddlers and children up to puberty but of course, on a moral standpoint, I kinda understand why people throw the paedo label at even those who go with 16 year olds as they still are vulnerable emotionally, even if they are physically developed and to the man, it's just a slightly younger woman (not child) BUT regarding your daughter, I more meant when she becomes a teenager, 13, 14 or 16, etc (if you plan to stay with him long term) - she'll have developed by then and a lot of even 14 year olds look like fully grown women -

IF he can actively search out 16 year old girls online, would he forego your daughter when she becomes of similar age and there's even easier access and temptation in that they'd been in the same house together? That's more what I meant. Obviously no one can predict the future but obviously, he has previous for such behaviours and she is after all, not genetically related to him (just like the girl online).

Closetbeanmuncher · 10/02/2019 15:39

I stand by my viewpoint....

If he's attracted to a 16 year old he will be attracted to a 15 year old....Potato potarto.

There's no way he would be around my dd...period

froggy1811 · 16/02/2019 09:59

The first clue into someone's personality/intention is that they show an interest in someone young enough to be their own child...that makes them a peado, no matter what way you look at it.

I don't want to hurt you but (from what you have said ) there is nothing you can do to compete with his sickening desires...you need to kiss the sicko goodbye and keep him as far away from your daughter (completely!)

Please don't let him near her (even if you doubt what we have said ) just air on the side of caution, because if he is a beast, it's not worth the consequences...And there is

froggy1811 · 16/02/2019 10:03

Sorry my message was cut off..but my point was PLEASE don't play any part (unwittingly or not) in his abuse of young girls.

Aridane · 16/02/2019 10:05

I didn't think you could divorce within the first 12 months of marriage?

Aridane · 16/02/2019 10:06

Ignorant question - but absent dirty pics, why would it be illegal?

froggy1811 · 16/02/2019 10:16

Well if is child it would be...what exactly are you confused about Aridane??!

Dunin · 16/02/2019 10:36

I think you need to speak to somebody OP. Social services, a therapist, the senco at your child’s school...this is a safe guarding issue. You have a young daughter and your new husband has been talking to and engaging in sexual behaviour with a child. You really have to take this seriously. He had acted strangely, inappropriately, broken trust etc and displayed abnormal and illegal behaviour. You have a young daughter in your house who will herself go through puberty etc he can’t be trusted can he? Are you absolutely sure he hasn’t interfered with her? A friend of mine went through this with her young, new husband. Daughter was 7 (not his). He was a bad one and got locked up for interfering with her. This is all ringing worrying alarm bells. This is one incident that you know about because the girl contacted you. What else has he been doing that you don’t know about? For God’s sakes do not let him back near your daughter until a professional has spoken to her and made sure she’s safe.

froggy1811 · 16/02/2019 10:41

Exactly and absolutely!

Get this weirdo as FAR away from your children as you can! Honestly OP, it's not worth it (And I hope you agree with me. )

Aridane · 16/02/2019 10:55

froggy - because she is 16 / at age of consent - so had assumed texting (absent dirty pics) would not be illegal. Hence confused.

(though to be clear, think what the 'D'H is doing is absolutely vile)

Sierra1234 · 16/02/2019 11:02

Can you move back home? May be a big thing to do but it can’t be helped here, you shouldn’t put up with that and it’s disgusting how he’s behaving. You must only be young too and you don’t need this with a kid already so yeah, try and get away and get yourself set up somewhere else. We’ve all learned the hard way from men as that’s unfortunately the only way, a lot of them lie and think with their d*cks and it’s a task trying to work out who’s genuine and who isn’t, but when you know for sure like you do here that’s it, don’t be upset, move on.

IncrediblySadToo · 16/02/2019 11:05

Divorce this piece of shit.

I really would suggest a termination, you can’t be very far along & you don’t need to be tied to yet another looser.

Get a small studio flat for you and DD. Get on your feet with a job etc and build a stable life for you and DD. You’re 27, nit a child, you can do this.

IncrediblySadToo · 16/02/2019 11:10

There are some idiotic posts on this thread. She’s 16, she’s not going to look prepubescent. There is no need to fear for your daughters well being because he’s texting a 16 yo with a woman’s body & attitude. Let’s not forget he’s only 23, it’s a 7 year age gap. Not a huge amount. Yes it’s inappropriate because she’s only 16, but it’s not grooming, it’s lack of self restraint.

But as I said, you need to divorce this twat and build a stable life for you and DD because if he’s chasing tail now, he will always do it.

froggy1811 · 16/02/2019 11:11

You're quite right - what he has done to OP is vile!

As far as I know, lewd/naked pictures of a minor (under 18) are illegal, and with good reason too!

Aridane · 16/02/2019 11:12

Absent dirty pics though, sure,y it's not illegal?

froggy1811 · 16/02/2019 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PixieDust20 · 16/02/2019 11:25

Omg she's 16 how f*king revolting 🤢 I can't believe you would even be in the same house as him aswell as your child when he is being like this with another CHILD I'd report it to the please ffs. Urgh chills me!

MashedSpud · 16/02/2019 11:25

You’d be surprised at what men get up to on their phones. In the same room (angling the screen away then changing the page as you walk by), taking extra long baths with the door locked with the phone of course or/and taking one hour shits in the loo with his phone.

LTB.

Aridane · 16/02/2019 11:29

Eh? - was that addressed to me, froggy?

Aridane · 16/02/2019 11:29

(about being a fucking weirdo)

froggy1811 · 16/02/2019 11:37

Indeed it was!

Why are you repeatedly questioning the fact that inappropriate pictures of children wouldn't be illegal? Because they ARE and so they should be!

The only excuse I can think up for you is that you don't know good english; but if you do, and you stand by that opinion, then you are a weirdo!

ScrumpyCrack · 16/02/2019 11:39

It’s entirely legal. Anyone over 18 sharing sexual images with someone 16 or over, with their consent, is legal. Grim. But legal.

Aridane · 16/02/2019 11:39

I was simply asking whether texting a 16 year old was illegal (in the absence of there being dirty pictures exchanged). You indicated it was, I was querying that.

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