Husband sexting another girl

[02gurro]

Hi everyone, I haven't slept all night, I'm absolutely heartbroken and just want this to go away 😢 I found out yesterday that my husband (aged 23) has been sexting a 16 year old girl who's still at school, she sought me out and sent me screenshots but previously told me 5 days, ago I just didn't believe it as I thought he'd never do that to me, even after seeing evidence yesterday he spent hours denying it lying until he had to give in. We only married 3 months ago I'm devistated! We're both so happy and I always thought I'm one of the lucky girls who has a guy that thinks the world of his partner and would never cheat. We are literally each others best friends. I just found out Im pregnant aswell yesterday with our first (I have a 6 Yr old already) we've been trying since the wedding and was so excited to begin our married life together. I don't know what to do now 😭 I've been treated badly in my past relationships too and he knew this. He's been messaging her when I'm in the room with him or asleep, even when we got home from viewing a property together and before/after a romantic date. To top it off he's been bringing up he's married to make the conversation naughty and she's even said stuff like she'd f**k him better than his wife. He found her first and messaged her when I was asleep on the sofa tired from becoming pregnant which I didn't know at the time. She's just a stranger off the Internet why would he be so desperate when his home life/sex life is so good! I moved away with him aswell and now live someone with no family or friends I'm completely alone. Humiliated to say the least that my family attended our wedding recently and everyone loves him.

So there’s a number of questions for you to consider...
Do you want to continue in a relationship with him?
Do you want to have another child?
Do you want to stay in your new town?
Of course what you would like is for him not to have acted like he did but that is not an option.
Make one decision at a time

I don't know why you would waste any more of your time on this man.
For your daughters sake I'd stop making excuses and leave him now

Do you even consider this man to be a safe person in your daughters life??

He is grooming a child and asking for nudes. How can he possibly ever be a good father or father figure?

Move back to a support network wherever that may be, and divorce him. Your pregnancy is a separate decision. I am not sure you could ever leave a child with him though, I think you are storing up so many problems for the future.

Prioritise. Get supper and leave and start proceedings. Decide about the pregnancy.

Blackmailing you to stay is despicable under the circumstances. Ignore and block.

There is no way I could consider staying with a man like this. You have to put your child first.

Supper - support

Wow, a 16 year old is a child in my eyes; married 3 months, you do know this is the tip of what he's probably been up to behind your back from the start, you need to cut your losses OP, you've not wasted too much time on this waste of space, move on from him, it won't get better, I could never forgive him personally but I guess we are all different.

He's not a nice guy, nice guys don't groom young kids or threaten suicide to manipulate you into staying with him.

My head is literally in overdrive I don't even know where to start, we're getting evicted and should be out now but we've overstayed and i can't move on my own, I don't drive I can't afford the pets on my own, I only work part time. There's problems for every road I look down I honestly can't see a way out. I'm usaully good with thinking ahead and doing the right thing but I just don't know how I can do this

what a mess. He is a Manipulative paedo grooming a school Girl. And the main thing is you simply can’t afford another child.

We're okay financially together, it's only as our landlord is selling the property, but on my own I won't be

Take a breath and make a list of practical steps you need to take.

Book in with midwife, get proof of pregnancy.
See solicitor. Start divorce proceedings.
Take proof of divorce, pregnancy and section 21 from Landlord to council. Get on housing list.
Go on 'entitledto' find out what benefits you are eligible for.
Apply for all first thing Monday.

Tell him to stay at his mums.
G at all joint financial information/accounts in order.
Get boxes from local supermarket. Start boxing up your things.

You are stronger than you think and you CAN do this without him.

But you can’t think ‘together’ as you have a child of your own and he has been sexual with a child.

On your own has to been your focus. Think carefully about what you can manage.

He has sort out a child, not an adult, a child to manipulate and abuse.
The way she is allegedly behaving screams abused child to me.
That is why she is a target for sick bastards like the one you are married too.
This is not an affair between 2 adults.
UNfortunately there are 1000s of men like this.

Think very very carefully about continuing your pregnancy with this man.
You have been married 3 months, you are pregnant and he does this!

Once again, this is not an affair between 2 consenting adults. He is grooming a child.

RoseofSharyn is right. Listen to her advice. Don't look at all the things you need to do at once because it'll seem insurmountable. It's not if you tackle one step at a time. Make a list, cross things off. You'll feel a sense of accomplishment as you do everything one step at a time.

It's all overwhelming right now and it's going to be difficult. Form a support network. Tell your family and friends so that when you need help, they're there.

How'd she find you anyways? Are you linked to your husband's Twitter account? Or did she just Google search you?

He is hideous, you can't really think that you have a future with him do you?
I'm sorry if I sound harsh but his actions take bad behaviour to a new level. I would be frightened about what lay beneath the surface with this, and his motives into wanting to get married and start a family.
Get yourself away if possible, is there family or friends that you can go to to give yourself time and space to think and make decisions.

Also wanted to say Rose is right, only adding one thing to the list which is a time and money thing I'm afraid but you should consider some counselling. This is a really serious situation, he can gaslight you but he has been sending sexual messages to a child. It doesn't matter if she sought him out or whether she engaged and pursued it, he is the adult and should know better. It will always be his fault, never the child's fault.
This is obviously a huge shock and you are vulnerable so speaking to someone in real life who can help you will give you strength and help you to see it's not your fault either. This is all very much on him.

Yikes. I was pursued by a married man in his 20s when I was a teenager and his wife took him back. I’ve never really understood why but understand even less now as an adult myself, if my husband was sexting anyone he would be out on his ear, but a child. Grim. Grim, grim, grim, grim.

Obviously your being pregnant does change the situation but I would think very carefully before having this mans baby. Who DOES this, let alone so soon after marrying? You need to have a serious think about whether this is the life you want. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

OhHolyJesus I agree with counselling. The Freedom Programme would also help as it will highlight the gaslighting and emotional manipulation (I'm going to kill myself....bullshit!) Which is free.

Your GP, midwife or a social worker can refer you for free counselling too. Although it can take a while. be

I'm not sure if it's possible to do it anonymously, but you may want to speak to SS since he is clearly a risk to young, vulnerable girls and you have a child already. They will be able to offer advice, support and can probably fast track your exit route.

It's hard but try to just accept the situation and leave! That's not ok to do.

The marriage is over anyway - he's only a few months in and he's already proven not trustworthy. The beginning should be the exciting honeymoon stage, not him cheating already.

Add into the mix that he is pursuing a CHILD. Quite sickening.

I have a 16 yo DD. His behaviour is shocking. I couldn't be married to him...especially with a young DD.

You're husband is a fraud what he presents is a mask, his actions have shown you who he truly is.

What he is in fact is a borderline paedophile, cheat and liar....Didn't get aroused my arse. It's grim enough when men in their 40s go after 20 something's but this is a whole other level.

Disassociate yourself from this and quickly - I don't believe for a second this predator is who you think he is.

@RoseOfSharyn has given some great practical advice.

Keep the screenshots, you may need them further down the line!

A) ew . I am 23 and a 16 yo is an immature child and couldn't be attracted to one if I tried.
B) why are you even married at 23? What's the point?
C) leave him.

You sound very young for 27... get rid of him he's pathetic and manipulating you

In general my husband isn't manipulative and he's actually a really nice person, anybody that knows him wouldn't even believe what he's done

Seriously, he is not a really nice person, he's a scumbag. You must feel completely overwhelmed but please don't let that stop you leaving him.

There is a lot of support and advice on this Board - which I hope will help you to take the steps to kick him out.

Good luck.

Can't believe this guy..

He wasn't aroused whilst sexting with her?! Lol what did he do it for then? a social experiment..? He tried denying sexting altogether but when there's too much proof that he did, now he denies the only thing you can't prove - that he was aroused.

Then the suicide threat..? So he's saying he risked a relationship with someone he cares about sooo much that he'd end his life without you, for sexting (even though he knows he didn't even get aroused by it..) that makes sense.. NOT.

I think the fact he's doing it so early on in the honeymoon phase makes it clear he'll continue to always do it. This isn't some long term one in a million crush he had on a woman - it's a random girl off the internet - they'll always be plenty of them in supply for him to mess around with.

Sure he may have a good time with you and really mean it but if he wants the thrill etc of a new conquest, he'll always have that craving most likely.

Who knows how many other women he's sexted in the past - you only found about this one because she told you...

Also, bit contraversial but I'd make sure you don't leave him alone with your daughter around him. It might be unthinkable to you but plenty of step dads do horrible stuff like that (not all stepdads but given he's sexting random 16yr olds online....) - you see your daughter as your world, your everything etc. but sadly to him, she's probably regarded just like the 16 yr old online (though I fully expect him to completely deny and lie about this just like he has done with the sexting etc).

In your shoes, OP, I’d choose a termination of pregnancy, a divorce, and move back nearer to friends and family.

100% this //\

But that's just me.

He is vile & this is unforgivable.