Husband sexting another girl

[02gurro]

Hi everyone, I haven't slept all night, I'm absolutely heartbroken and just want this to go away 😢 I found out yesterday that my husband (aged 23) has been sexting a 16 year old girl who's still at school, she sought me out and sent me screenshots but previously told me 5 days, ago I just didn't believe it as I thought he'd never do that to me, even after seeing evidence yesterday he spent hours denying it lying until he had to give in. We only married 3 months ago I'm devistated! We're both so happy and I always thought I'm one of the lucky girls who has a guy that thinks the world of his partner and would never cheat. We are literally each others best friends. I just found out Im pregnant aswell yesterday with our first (I have a 6 Yr old already) we've been trying since the wedding and was so excited to begin our married life together. I don't know what to do now 😭 I've been treated badly in my past relationships too and he knew this. He's been messaging her when I'm in the room with him or asleep, even when we got home from viewing a property together and before/after a romantic date. To top it off he's been bringing up he's married to make the conversation naughty and she's even said stuff like she'd f**k him better than his wife. He found her first and messaged her when I was asleep on the sofa tired from becoming pregnant which I didn't know at the time. She's just a stranger off the Internet why would he be so desperate when his home life/sex life is so good! I moved away with him aswell and now live someone with no family or friends I'm completely alone. Humiliated to say the least that my family attended our wedding recently and everyone loves him.

That should have said 'vile peado not 'pearl'

You need to put things into perspective if your marriage is to work you need honesty and trust can... you trust him? If the answer is no you need toake him aware of how you feel and that your trust is broken how would he feel if it was you? Marriage counseling may be a good step. Certainly don't be a door mat.

Tbh I'd terminate and divorce. I wouldn't want anything to tie me to the idiot.

No one has said she should terminate, however whatever some people may think, it is an option. Like it or not it's the only way you can detach yourself from this pig forever.

That being said if you do decide to have your baby, given the dodgy legal ground your husband is on, you might have a case to keep him away from your children.

You will get over this.

If he's behaving like this so soon after the wedding it's unlikely he will change.

Putting aside the fact he has targeted a child, he obviously gets off on the thrill of the chase. Doing it while you are in the room just ups the tension/thrill for him. He's not going to suddenly change.

He doesn't sound like he is ready to be in a committed relationship let alone start a family.

At least you know what you are dealing with now. If you can trust him when he promises to never do it again, if you can trust him when he says he is working late, if you can try not to want to check his phone when it pings late at night.

You need to take some time to let this sink in. Tell someone in real life.

Don't be too hasty about any decisions about the baby. The baby and the relationship can be two separate things. It's all in your control. Now you know the truth about who is really is. You have the power to make your own future.

It is illegal that he contacted a 16 year old. It might escalate if she or her parents go to the police, she has already approached you with evidence. He might get 5-10 years on the sex offenders register and be unable to get a job or be around children, the consequences would be huge.
I couldn’t get past this, what kind of a man would do this so early on in a new marriage?

@hotwing It would be wrong of me to speculate as to why I asked those particular questions I asked upthread and if they had anything to do with any suspicions of bridge dwelling.

To previous comments: we've been together 3 and a half years but I'm older I'm 27, he's always been mature and was the one that's wanted to take this serious in the first place I didn't rush it, he doesn't like going out, he sees things in a understanding way most women do (or at least I thought so) I didn't want a relationship after my child's father but something felt different with my husband and I felt he truly was the one, we do everything together and happily aswell. His excuse was for a thrill or excitement and apparently he never got aroused it was just stupid messages for no reason, which makes it worse tbh because he had a sound mind to know what's right and wrong. He says that's not who he is he's been struggling mentally and he regrets doing it it was a one off. He keeps telling me he'll kill himself now if he doesn't have me in his life. As if I asked for my life to be turned upside down 😩

So how did he come across her?

OP I can't even imagine how you're feeling. He's emotionally blackmailing you now - don't fall for it. Focus on what's best for you, your child and your pregnancy.

Get rid of him now .. she's a child

On twitter he come across her apparently and shes one of those people that shares porn type stuff and pics for guys to message her and then buy her shit, she messaged me because she got annoyed with him using her apparently because he didn't get nudes (but I haven't seen this in message)

@Firstimemama

Er, no - that would be illegal.

Having a termination is not and in these circumstances it would be entirely justifiable.

People are advising to terminate @Firstimemama because, whether OP likes it or not, the unborn baby would tie them together forever and she'd always have to put up with his shit.

He's grooming a child OP and trying to blackmail you to boot ("I'll kill myself" etc). Seriously- leave him. What would you tell your friend in the same situation?

He has been grooming a child, regardless of what she may post online. He sounds very manipulative, talking about suicide to make you stay.
I think you should leave him, he sounds awfu.

Sorry everyone I don't know how to reply to people specifically I've never used this site to post before. Moving back to hometown isn't an option really because I've only just moved my daughters school and her dad/family are really controlling and I left to kinda get away aswell because he's manipulated everyone in that town(it's only a small town everyone knows everyone) I would usually say the same thing to a girl about terminating in circumstances like this but I just don't think I can do it, I only wanted a child with the person I was gonna stay with forever and marry and I'm stuck in this situation now ffs i grew up with a family of different dad's and abuse so all I wanted was to make sure I wouldn't let that happen to my children and here I am. Sorry for the essays. Oh I have told my sister and she slept round last night to keep me company and husband was kicked out to his mums

Oh my daughter still has her relationship with her dad btw they see each other often I just moved for my sake

In general my husband isn't manipulative and he's actually a really nice person, anybody that knows him wouldn't even believe what he's done

I'm confused - a 16 year old girl online selling nudes etc is illegal?
These men that contact her are essentially buying child pornography. Even just viewing her account and making contact with her he's treading very very thin ice. I'd cut your losses rather than be married to someone who's verging on being a peadophile.
I think it's down to you what you do pregnancy wise, take some time to make that decision, the only problem is you'd be tied to this piece of shit for life and he doesn't seem honourable enough to step up.

02gurro

saying he'll kill himself if you leave him IS HIGHLY manipulative. I am sorry this has happened to you, but you really need to see what he has done.

In general my husband isn't manipulative and he's actually a really nice person, anybody that knows him wouldn't even believe what he's done

Also this speaks volumes, he's not a really nice person he's just manipulated people into believing he's something he isn't.

Sorry for what you are going through. You are very young and have not wasted years with this person. I would see the baby as separate from thos though and wouldn't make any rash decisions.

He keeps telling me he'll kill himself now if he doesn't have me in his life
What a manipulative prick he is.
How dare he say that!
HE'S the one who's messed up.
This for me, would be unforgivable.
But everyone is different in what their deal-breakers are.
Could you go to your family or a friend for the weekend?
You need some to time to think this through and some space away from him.
I would also seriously consider if I wanted to bring a child into this mess.