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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dh just walked out

19 replies

Peachy · 03/07/2007 18:11

he's stressed at the moment- work problems, neighbour problems etc- and I knew this but couldn't get him to talk, He was cleaning up after dinner, knew he had to go to work after bedtime (9.30 departure), just said ive ahd enough and walked.

Not panicking but he's notanswering the phone which is unlike him and the boys are upset. he ahs a history of depression and ahs been low lately so I am worried

OP posts:
hoxtonchick · 03/07/2007 18:12

god, how upsetting peachy. hope he's ok. and you and the boys.

newlifenewname · 03/07/2007 18:15

Peachy I've been here a million times before. I found it helped to set a time by which if I'd not heard anything I'd call the police.

If you are very worried and don't want to wait then because of history the police will act immediately if you ask them to.

They will come and take details and do a risk assessment.

Do you think he might harm himself or is your concern more to do with when/whether he'll come back to the family.

Apologies if questions are too personal since we are only vaguely familiar on here.

Sorry you are having to deal with this.

wishingfourgotone · 03/07/2007 18:16

sorry to hear this hope hes safe for you and your sons

Whoooosh · 03/07/2007 18:16

Oh you poor thing.Really hope he has just gone to get a bit of space and clear his head.
Hope you and the boys are ok-maybe try and keep everything very normal and make some excuse?

lulumama · 03/07/2007 18:17

really sorry... I hope he comes back ASAP...and can get sorted

must be a real worry for you xxxx

LilRedWG · 03/07/2007 18:17

Hope he's home to you safe and well soon Peachy.

Wisteria · 03/07/2007 18:17

Peachy - I've no words of wisdom but I am thinking of you and hope all will be well. Think that's a very good idea of Newlifes

VVVSzyslak · 03/07/2007 18:18

OH arse peachy.

anything we can do?

BreeVanDerCamp · 03/07/2007 18:18

Oh Peachy

Any ideas where he may have gone. ?

newlifenewname · 03/07/2007 18:20

My children have been through this more than once and have come out of it all remarkably unscathed. I always told them that daddy had gone for a walk because he was a bit fed up. On occasions when police had to be called I told them he had got lost on the walk and we needed help to find him.

It's bloody awful when they can't/won't talk and so just go. When he turns up I am sure you will be very delighted and relieved but also quite cross. It's a weird emotional mix.

Original poster
Peachy · 03/07/2007 18:20

he doesnt know anyone for 60 miles, so no idea

Know he doesnt want to go to work atm so not there for sure, slight chance of my Mum but wont call herunless I have to 9she gets a bit narky!0, his mum wouldnt have him dont think

suspect hes somewhere crying

OP posts:
mummy2aaron · 03/07/2007 18:33

omg peachy this is awful, i wish i could do something. i don't know what to say and you know i am never usually stuck for words, hope he turns up soon.

xx

Original poster
Peachy · 03/07/2007 18:41

he's ok

work have told him theyre not abiding by the flexible working arrangements he had with them, and want him to do 2 extra shifts a week unpaid whe he's already exhausted

he didnt want to tell me, he knows he's needed here with the boys- thats why the arrnagment was i place

I am going to call him sick, its pretty onvious he needs his AD's again (or he'd have been coping with this) so he'll see the GP ASAP

as he's been clear for about 2 years, he's coming back and not surprised- he's been through enough with mil, the kids sn etc

OP posts:
newlifenewname · 03/07/2007 18:45

I think if he was due for work at 9pm then you could call there at 9.30 just to rule it out and then call your mum and his maybe before 10pm so it's not all night worrying potentially.

In terms of how 'at risk' you'd say he was, would it help to give that a sort of rating to help you keep things in perspective. Instinct is really helpful but sometimes the ticking clock and as darkness arrives, things can get a bit panicky.

If you want someone to call at whatever time of night then I'd happily volunteer but realise I may be too much of a newbie for you to consider this. CAT me if you want my mobile.

I know my exdp was a mega twat but regardless of his skewed reasons for disappearing, I know what it is like as the mother and partner waiting at home keeping things going. I also have 3 friends whose partners have done the same all with very different outcomes so I have quite a broad perspective on this stuff.

FunMumm · 03/07/2007 18:47

phew, glad he's ok, can his work make him work the extra shifts.. can he get some advice on it...

newlifenewname · 03/07/2007 18:48

Oh that's good news that h'es okay.

So needs to feel he can tell ypou this stuff, but how you make them realise i don't know!

mummy2aaron · 03/07/2007 18:49

work is appalling, does he still work at the same place, sorry not been on much lately bit out of touch, maybe it's time to see someone about his rights.

Dior · 03/07/2007 18:54

Message withdrawn

VVVSzyslak · 03/07/2007 18:56

Glad he's okay. Depression sucks.

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