When stop the wife contacting you.

[lifegoes]

Advice needed...

Recent thread where I found out the truth and told his wife.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3497028-always-trust-your-gut

He denied it all and then admitted it. The wife is keeping me updated all the time and sending me screenshots of what he's saying. I just want to be left out of it now, but I don't want to be awful with her.

How can I stop this or when should I stop the contact. It's been a few days now and she's calling me and messaging me.

Obv he's saying it was nothing, I'm a nutcase all the standard lies as I found him out. But when do I stop this ?

I think you've done the right thing here - tell her, support her a bit, walk away when she starts being an idiot.

I can't believe someone's self-esteem would be so low they would stay with someone that is constantly cheating on them, with loads of evidence. Poor lady.

You've done all you can OP.

She's a fool to keep taking him back, it's her problem not yours.

Move on and be happy in your life.

@reallemonade @Hiphopopotamous thank you both

I'm quite shocked she's acting the way she is. But he's very good at lying so no doubt she's falling for his lies rather than seeing it for what it is.

Time to move on

This woman is off her head!!!

She rings me on a withheld number. No idea it as her, I answer.

Wants to know why I've blocked her?

Asks if I've met him or been in contact with him this week. Told her he's tried to contact me but I've ignored and blocked him on everything now.

Then she says now just leave me alone and hangs up.

I'm speechless. She RANG ME ON WITHHELD

I'm sorry to boost this back up again.

But it's killed me this today, I can't stop thinking about why she's asking me over and over if he's been in touch. And why when she can see I've blocked her. Ring me.

I just need a hug right now 😢

Change your number and remember this is her issue, she doesn't trust him but instead of taking it out on him she took it out on you.

@thefirst48 I've been told I can stop withheld numbers so to speak to my phone provider.

I keep getting really angry at all the lies he must be saying about me. But then trying to tell myself let him. I didn't do anything wrong.

I need to keep my mind busy.

Remember his wife is a stranger to you and shouldn't matter what she thinks about you. You and the people around you know the truth. The wife will never be happy with a serial cheater. Don't be so hard on yourself time will honestly help. I wouldn't risk either of them contacting you so I would change my number.

That's true @thefirst48 let him fill her with lies so he can worm his way back in.

The fact she's going to such lengths to contact me proves she doesn't trust him. They're obviously trying to make it work.

My mind is in overdrive, he's ruined enough of my life, I refuse to let either of them continue. It's their business now.

She's blaming you instead of him. Deep down she knows what he is. Sadly she has no self-esteem, he's probably already onto number 7.

Just be grateful you're out that mess! You behaved with dignity, don't let them mess with your head. Good luck!

Thank you @RedTartanLass I'm letting it back in my head and I need to remember this isn't my problem anymore.

He'll be on number 10 by now

And number 11 as we speak ... def don't spend anymore head time on this. That poor poor woman, but she's not your problem.

She forgave him all the others and she'll forgive him all the future ones. Maybe one day she'll find MN and get a wake up call.

In the meantime just block them both everywhere and don't answer any number you don't recognise.

You've helped me tonight @RedTartanLass I just needed to hear it back. Thank you

@Bess78 I know. I was so angry as she hung up before I had the chance to say YOU RANG ME!

Oh he'll be back in her books and making it out, it was all me. If she wants to keep checking up on me, let her.

It actually makes it easier for me to handle knowing they've got back together. And the way she is going on. Awful as that sounds! As I know he'll do it again.

I hated feeling that I was hated for this, as I still feel very betrayed by him. But I know I can walk away with my head held high. I tried to tell her, I showed her things he had said that PROVED it wasn't just sex as he said and that he swore on his kids like they were separated. Not much more I can do

She's been viewing my friends Instagram story so she's had to block her.

I think they deserve each other now.

I am afraid this is the reality when you confess you were the other woman, even if it was unknowingly. When I discovered my ex was having an affair in the first instance I wanted to tell her husband as well, however I decided I did not want to be the one responsible for breaking up someone else's family.

Tbh it wasn't a confession. I was trying to identify if he was lying and that my gut was right. I needed to know after the horrific time he's put me through.

And personally I don't think it is the reality to be stalked an inch of my life. I spoke to her many times, I answered her questions. She told me about his other affairs. But there is a time to stop and when she was blocked on everything. That's when she should know.

I'm not taking the blame for destroying a family. He did that, when he had multiple affairs and lied his arse off to me for months.

It hasn't really got anything to do with you. She knows he is a disgusting toad but cannot accept it. So she is acting out irrationally as she has no other outlet.

If she lets him have all her crazy then he may say fuck this bye and for some weird twisted reason she can't do that.

If she does contact you again clearly state you want her to stop contacting you, if she does again you will go to the police and tell them she is harassing you.

@magoria that's the thing. I don't want anything to do it with it. I've blocked her on everything and yet she still finds a way.

Yet he labels me as crazy, to her, I'm happier when I hear nothing. It's their life not mine.

I hope one day she finds peace.

for you. She sounds a bit unhinged, although I suspect this is probably her way of trying to convince herself she's in control in this situation (she's not and her DH is undoubtedly looking for his next mark already. Tosser).

Either way, ignore. Frankly, if she calls you again, tell her that you're going to the police if you have any contact from her whatsoever and then go to the police. This is all sounding quite stalkerish.

Also, this is not your fault. You tried to do the right thing.

@forestafantastica thank you.

Obviously he blames me for it all. Not that he lied or couldn't keep it in his pants whilst married. But I know I did the right thing telling her and that I'm moving on.

I do think you are right if she doesn't contact again I will contact the police or at least advise I will.

He's done all of this, he'll have her controlled. If this man could tell that volume of lies to me in a few months and make me ignore my gut and believe him.

Imagine what he could do to a woman, who is the mother of his child and his wife for years.

I hope karma gets him.

As it all quietened down @lifegoes?

I hope so. Thinking of you.