When stop the wife contacting you.

[lifegoes]

Advice needed...

Recent thread where I found out the truth and told his wife.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3497028-always-trust-your-gut

He denied it all and then admitted it. The wife is keeping me updated all the time and sending me screenshots of what he's saying. I just want to be left out of it now, but I don't want to be awful with her.

How can I stop this or when should I stop the contact. It's been a few days now and she's calling me and messaging me.

Obv he's saying it was nothing, I'm a nutcase all the standard lies as I found him out. But when do I stop this ?

He has had 5 affairs in 6 years.

She always takes him back. They are immersed in their own dance.

Get out of this triangle. You have helped as much as you can. You are not the person to walk her through this.

She knows what he is.

@MsDogLady She needs to speak to him. I can't keep sending her proof he's still telling lies. She needs to understand he keeps lying and I keep proving him wrong.

That has to be enough now

Yes, you’ve done enough. You have provided all the proof she needs. It is up to them now.

Like I said, get out of this triangle.

5 affairs in 6 years and she always takes him back? What a doormat. She's her own worst enemy and you can't do anything more OP.

I'd send breastsidestory's text now/if you hear from her again. Enough is enough.

Thanks all I've not heard from her since early today when she told me about the other woman. If she texts again I have that message saved in a drafts.

He's been caught all those times and still does it. With the SAME lie.

This toxic cycle has become a pattern in their marriage. He cheats, uses the same lie, she forgives, he cheats.... Rinse and Repeat.

I will never ever discredit my gut instinct again! I knew he was lying but thought I was being paranoid. (Sorry he made me think I was being paranoid)

If she contacts you again simply tell her

He lied to you, you didn't know he was married. She knows what he is. She knows he is a liar. You have told her your side. You will not have any further contact with him and you don't want any with her.

Then block her.

After so many times cheating and taking him back it is her problem, no matter how much she is hurting, not your circus.

@magoria good point made.

I'm trying to offer support and give her the evidence she needs as I feel awful on her. She knows that I didn't know as I showed her the texts that prove him saying he was separated etc.

But I need to look after me now and just let them sort it out. It's nothing to do with me now (sorry if that sounds selfish)

Quick update. I had to block her number this morning (I hadn't previously as I didn't have it stored).

Contacted me this morning saying we were obviously "just a sex relationship and he was craving attention. He loves her and doesn't want to lose her. So can I let her know if he's been or if he does get in contact"

I just blocked, I know this must be awful for her. But I was lied to also, I couldn't stand the thought of texting him never mind seeing him. He's a vile man that is very good at gaslighting.

Well done OP. Brave step. There is nothing more you can do for this woman. If she wants to keep forgiving him, she needs more help than you can provide! Look after yourself. You have been hurt too. Big hug to you, hold your head high and remember you didn't deserve this either. You have maintained dignity, now allow yourself time to heal. Good luck. xxx

Thank you @minieggmunchers it does hurt hearing him say that I'm crazy and it was just sex. As the way he went on never indicated it was just sex.

I was crazy, crazy to believe his lies.

She knows,you did all you could. You broke it off,told her and gave her proof. If se wants to play the "he always comes back to me game", that's up to her. It's not your responsibility and you don't owe her shit. Well done on blocking her.. it's time for you to move on now and start to heal.

So true @YourSarcasmIsDripping the last thing I'd be doing is bragging I have him after what he's done.

Blocking her was the only way and I agree I did all I could to answer questions and be nice.

More fool her. She knows the truth. He will do it again.

You are out of it. Take time to heal and move onward and upwards.

@magoria done it 5/6 times apparently. Once was only last year whilst she was pregnant. The woman told her too.

But I'm just going to look after me, these posts from others have really helped.

Thank you xxx

From the sounds of it op she's as Batshit as he is.

I give it 6 months max before he's balls deep in number 7...

Bonkers.

@Closetbeanmuncher 😂😂😂😂😂 laughed so much at that.

I agree with you

Op..you were given all of this advice on the last thread.

She's a fool to believe him. I'm sorry but its stupidity on her part.

He's shown her what he is...but for whatever reason she's still there. Of course he'll cheat again. Why wouldn't he when she takes him back every time.

If she's convinced he loves her why is she asking you to let her know if he contacts you? She can't trust him and she knows it.

I have daughters and this is the kind of nonsense I tell them never to tolerate.

Keep her blocked. 🙂

You've done the right thing blocking her, she's obv going to buy his bullshitt.

@Grandadwasthatyou last thread 🤔

@SandyY2K so true. I'm keeping her and him blocked.

Let them believe each other and be "happy"

@notapizzaeater I agree, I can't do anymore than I did.

I feel better knowing they can't contact me