Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Our family's have never met.

78 replies

ShortandSweet96 · 03/02/2019 14:21

Been with OH for 5 years. When we met he lived in a different town to me, but now we have bought a house in the town I live in, only around 30 minutes away from his.

We often see his family at party's, occasions and have his dad and brothers round for tea sometimes.
The sane for my family, will have then roundnfor tea, pop over sometimes and see them at party's.

But our family's have never met. Is this strange?
My friend mentioned it a while ago and it's bothered me ever since she said it was weird and not a proper relationship.

I now can't stop thinking that they will more than likely only ever meet if we ever got married!!

It's never even been mentioned by either party, about meeting eachother.

Is it really that strange?! Just looking for some different perspectives and opinions.

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 03/02/2019 14:23

Me and dp have been together 8 years this year, our families have never met and we have a child together. People think it's weird. I don't and we have no intentions of having them meet. They do not need to know each other, they won't be friends, they are very very different people.

LatentPhase · 03/02/2019 14:36

Interesting one. Me and DP been together 3 years. We both have kids from previous marriages. We both socialise with each other’s families but (aside from our dc) our families haven’t met. Despite living nearby.

DP said we should get our parents for dinner but I just thought ‘that’s weird/we aren’t 18/not getting married’ - it seems like it would be awks or over-egging it or they might expect some big announcement!

I don’t know what is supposed to happen tbh...!!

Answers on a postcard..

sackrifice · 03/02/2019 14:37

Together 14 and a half years and our families have never met.

CMOTDibbler · 03/02/2019 14:38

DH and I have been married for 21 years. Our parents have met twice - once a couple of months before our wedding, and on the day. My brothers ILs and our parents have met the same number of times.
I can't imagine that they will meet again

SheepyFun · 03/02/2019 14:39

Our families have only met at our wedding, and a much smaller subset saw each other at a party we threw ten years later. Distance would make arranging another full meet up hard work - we don't see any family members regularly, and it doesn't really feel necessary.

CandyKitten · 03/02/2019 14:40

We aren’t married and we don’t have any children either. However we’ve been together a long time. Our families live 5 minutes away in the car from each other but have never met

greendale17 · 03/02/2019 14:41

**Drogosnextwife

Me and dp have been together 8 years this year, our families have never met and we have a child together. People think it's weird.**

^It is weird and bizarre.

Stillme1 · 03/02/2019 14:44

I have met all DP's family who are in this country and have skyped with an overseas relative
DP has never officially met any of my family. He has been in the same place as one of my relatives but was not happy with what he saw so neither he nor I made introductions.
His family have never met my family.
It is sad because my family members are not included in days out or gatherings which are fun events.

GoldenEvilHoor · 03/02/2019 14:45

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

E20mom · 03/02/2019 14:47

I don't think it's strange. I've been with my OH for a few years and we have a child. Our families have never met each other and I don't ever expect or want them to.

user1493413286 · 03/02/2019 14:47

I don’t think it’d weird; me and DH were about 4 years into our relationship before I organised a lunch for them all to meet and that was mainly so that the first time they met wasn’t when we had a child which we were planning at the time.
Since then they’ve met for celebrations for DD and then at our wedding but I can’t see them meeting up other than at things for DD in the future.

turncloak · 03/02/2019 15:03

Not that weird in my eyes. My in-laws and parents met on the day before our wedding, when we were decorating the church. It was purely a chance encounter too, not organised. They have met once since then, at the hospital when DD1 was born. They're very different people and we have no real desire or need for them to meet again. DH and I have been together for 10 years, married for almost 5.

Dirtybadger · 03/02/2019 15:16

Been together 4 years. No kids. Families never met. I've never met a lot of Dp's family. IMO I only need to meet the ones he is close to. He has been to family weddings etc so met most of mine. His choice. I wouldn't mind if he didn't want to as long as he met the ones I'm close to.

I can see why you would introduce them if you thought they would get on really well and are similar. If not I think better to avoid and reduce the risk of making any conflict.

I suppose a lot of people only meet if/when the couple get married.

My parents might cross parents with his if they were helping us move or something, but apart from necessity I don't see the point in introducing them.

chuffnstuff · 03/02/2019 15:19

Not weird at all. My husbands family and my family live 120 miles apart. Too old to cover that distance, and no reason to meet. We married in Vegas and didn't have a 'reception' back here.

Some strange people about.....

Arkos · 03/02/2019 15:19

Our families live far apart. They met for the first time on our wedding day and on the birth of our children. That's it. No drama.

Original poster
ShortandSweet96 · 03/02/2019 15:27

Thank God I'm not the only one! Very much mind settling to hear other people stories.
My friend was in a relationship for a few years and both families were very much involved. Always had dinners together, always going to events together, like if it was my friends mum's birthday the whole of her DP family would go to.

Me and OH have a few years between us, so my mum's in her 40's and his dad is in his 70's so I have no desire for them to meet, I find it would feel awkward for everybody. They are polar opposites and there will be no conversation. I feel so much better knowing it's not just me who's families won't meet until a wedding day lol.

OP posts:
soberexpat · 03/02/2019 15:33

Been with my husband for ten years and same here. We had a Vegas wedding so hey didn't meet them either.

We are totally fine with it.

sparkly72 · 03/02/2019 15:39

Our parents socialise together without us 🤣 it's lovely because Christmas Day we all spend the day together, same with all birthdays etc

mistermagpie · 03/02/2019 16:10

With my ex DH our parents me at our wedding and yes, it was weird. I can't imagine having children and them never have met.

LoreleiLee1 · 03/02/2019 16:29

Yes, it's weird! Arrange a tea or something at yours and have them all around together.

sackrifice · 03/02/2019 16:31

It is weird and bizarre.

Why?

sackrifice · 03/02/2019 16:31

Yes, it's weird! Arrange a tea or something at yours and have them all around together.

Why is it weird?

LoreleiLee1 · 03/02/2019 17:04

@sackrifice because they are all now family. Because a member of each of those families are now joined together in a union that is a long term relationship. Because it's the decent thing to do. Because spending time with people you all love, together , is good for soul. Because It helps cement family bonds and distributes love and unity.

steppemum · 03/02/2019 17:13

I think it is a little strange.
Dh and I have been together 20 years this year.
Famileis met at our wedding and then occasionally. Dh family all live overseas, but when we lived there for a while, and my parents visited, they have coffee with dh family.
Now we live in UK and dh brother and sister sometimes come to stay, my parents will pop in for a coffee to say hello.

My Mum sends dh father a Christmas card. (which is funny as they don't share a language)

If dh or I had a party (eg for my 50th I had a big party) then dh's family woudl also be invited.

When we go to my brothers for Christmas, my SILs family might be there too.
We know my other brother's MIL quite well, as she is often around if we go and visit.

None are close, but they are part of the general social circle.

Wherearemymarbles · 03/02/2019 17:59

Its not weird. Our families live 200 miles apart and are from very different backgrounds.
1st time they met was when we got married, 2nd time at ds christening and 3rd time at dd’s christening. Thats it, 3 times in 25 years.