Bit shy to ask, but a question regarding Lube etiquette

[lolaflores]

Honestly, I am not some mucky bugger, I do have an honest to God question.
Over the alst few months, Dh and I have noticed that I am experiencing discomfort during sex and he mentioned, almost off hand that it was for him too.
I am on HRT but hadn't realised that I wasn't ...I really don't know how to phrase it.
Anyway. We decided to buy some Lube.
last night we gave it a test run.
We sat there handing the bottle backwards and forwards going...
After you...no no..after you...
Oh I insist DH, isn't it the gentlemans job?
Erm...Not sure. Never asked.
We were weeping with laughter and eventually I took charge and applied it.
Made an enormous difference and I realised, sadly, that sex had become something I was avoiding because it was so painful....silly aren't I but you live and learm
If any one can enlighten me...we'd be very grateful

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If you've found this page in search of lubes that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best lubricants useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

What is your question?

What are you asking?

Sorry @lolaflores but I don't understand what you are asking

Are you actually asking who puts the lube on the dick?

Don't worry op I understand you! DP gets the honour in our relationship, and may I recommend for a small towel to be at hand, otherwise you'll end up with it wherever he touches you, lubey hair is grim!

Haha! I can picture this. Such a British scenario you describe.

Yep...sorry.
Who slathers up?
I known it can be incorporated into proceedings it we stumbled on the technicalities.
Oh it was a bit cringe.
Then I wiped my hands I his back cos I was covers in the stuff.
Will have a hand towel on standby I future

You could look at trying to incorporate it into foreplay so if you've got some hand action going on you could be applying to him while he applies it to you (I second the whole having a hand towel handy to wipe your hands off on though, it can get messy)

Passing it back and forth 😂
Creates a funny image in my head

We have to use lube every time...have for years....yes we bring it out during foreplay....he puts it on him and then puts some on and in me and away we go.....hth !!!

You could alway empty to contents of said bottle into a turkey baster....

I thought the only important part of ‘“lube etiquette” was ensuring it was warmed up before use.

I was thinking of leaving a small jug lukewarm water by his side of the bed as a come on.
Too subtle?

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to this! In my relationship, either of us apply to him depending on what’s going on. If I need more during I just tell him to apply some more. It’s a 2 second job that we don’t really give much thought to!

@OP

Re:jug....like a Penis Beaker by any chance?🤣🤣🤣

Pmsl here!
I must be a bit slow as I've always poked a bit inside myself. Never thought to put it on him! What's best?

No beakers here folk.
Just a handy, fluffy towel.
I'll be better prepared.
Slightly concerned the stuff we used is having a bit of a side effect. Stingy and sore.
In just grabbed one in Boots that said it was a not harsh.
Any suggestions other than Durex brand?
Olive oil? Perhaps not. The mess

Vagisan or vagifem? I think the latter is on prescription only.

Try Astroglide. Fantastic product.

I now use sylk. It’s called an intimate moisturiser and started using it at the beginning of menopause. It’s brilliant and with no stinging

Urgh, I stay away from durex lube. Tingly/Heat/Delay feels like it rubs me raw.
I buy unscented, no gimmick, water based lube - sometimes from Lovehunny, the latest bottle however was bought from Amazon(!).

Yes! From Holland and Barratt. Great name......

Thanks For the info. Really appreciate it. I don't know why I never thought that I would be drier. I assumed HRT sorted it all out.

I second Yes! Used it for years, feels very natural and doesn't mess with your natural juices etc. Other lubes leave me sore and stinging.

I think they want to know who puts it on?

To be honest either or, some times I grab it and do him and he does me, some times he does both. We only use it for anal and "posh wanks" when I am too tired to give him a BJ (classy burd eh?)

We use KY Jelly from boots. I am super sensitive about products so its a safe option! Can't use the durex lubes myself, not even some of their condoms. Its not the latex, its the stuff they put in them to make them "tingly" etc that my body doesn't like.