Why does my husband make me feel so inadequate...sorry its a rant!!!!!!!!!

[sarahblue]

Sorry this is going to be a rant but i need to get it off my chest!!

I have our 2 DS's all day and manage to keep the house reasonably tidy, not my first priority in life as i am a bit of an outdoor girl at heart!! However after a shite day at work he comes home and starts hoovering and cleaning!! He says its not to make me feel like this but it just does make me feel useless!!

Sorry, rant over!

And your problem is?

If I were you I'd go out more and let him get on with it!

I wish my husband tried to make me feel inadequate in this way instead of the sarcasm he uses!

Mmm. Sorry, I'm not going to say anything bad about a dad who launches into cleaning after a full day at work!

If it makes you feel rubbish - why not go to the pub?

Or would you rather that he did child stuff at this stage? Going out might again solve the issue, as he would have to...

If he is doing it and not moaning about it, what's not to like?

Where are people finding all these twats to mate with?

Honestly, did the phrase 'kick to the kerb' ever cross peoples' minds whilst they were dating these narcissitic, selfish fuckwits?

Did you ever consider that he might be trying to help - knowing that looking after two young children can make it impossible to get any housework done?

expat.

{blunt answer to your question} because you let him - the real question should be, why do you let yourself feel bad about it? i'd be chuffed if my dp came home and tidied up every night.

I can sort of see you feel it is your "job" to sort the house but as i see it he has a ft job outside the home, you have a ft job inside the home with your dc's it's only fair you share the housework, then again as you are in the house more you are creating more mess and can do half hour of tidying here and there when the dc's are occupied/ sleeping etc

Don't feel bad. {that's the bottom line}

I got a solution - swap him with my dp

So he does housework when he gets home without being prompted .

Cleaning can be very cathartic and can be energetic (uses up the extra adrenaline you can get when angry) and doesn't usually require much thinking (meaning you can think over your day).

I really wouldn't take it as an insult.

I can only think of one bad thing and that is if he uses all his energy before bedtime in which case you have every right to complain

sarahblue - DH is the same, I used to feel like you do about it - completely undermined my 'role' as mum. Then I came to my senses! If he wants to do it, fine, let him - it's not a problem, really it isn't. promise

thanks tea for two, and glad i'm not alone!! I'm sure i should be greatful and I am but i do also feel undermined.

I'll have to try and practice at just letting him do it!!!!!