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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help. I really need advice

87 replies

purplemum · 05/09/2004 13:44

Please can some one help me because i don't know what to do.
I've just found out i'm pg with my 3rd baby and i'm quite excited about the idea. My dh on the other hand is not.
As soon as i told him he said that i needed to go to the docs asap and arrange an abortion. I do know everyone has there own opinion on this matter, but i personly feel that i would be murdering my own child. I just couldn't do it.
I love my husband very much and our relationship is one that is fantastic. But i dont feel that he's being very reasonable.
If i keep this baby Then eventually he will come round to the idea but i dont think things would be right. He'd probably feel resentful towards the child for ruining our relationship. (I don't know that for certain though)
On the other hand if i get rid of this baby (sounds awful i know) then he will be back to normal. He will touch me ,speak to me and even laugh with me. The trouble is i will always have a black cloud over my head. I dont think i would ever forgive myself.
Normaly our relationship is always on top form. We have regular sex. we laugh we joke and we are best of friends. We have just come to a large hurdle and i'm not sure how to get over it.
Thankyou for reading this far if you have, and i would apreciate any honest opinions on what you would do.

OP posts:
acnebride · 11/09/2004 19:59

what an upheaval for you all. i hope you can comfort each other best wishes

cab · 11/09/2004 20:13

Look after yourself purplemum. Sorry.

MUMINAMILLION · 11/09/2004 20:16

Dont know what to say purplemum except so sorry. Dh must feel really bad too because of what he said. You need to be really strong for each other. Thinking of you.

fiorocious · 11/09/2004 20:18

Adding my sympathies.

earlygirl · 11/09/2004 20:20

purple mum so sorry
love and light

edam · 11/09/2004 20:27

oh Purplemum, that's so sad. Thinking of you.

joanneg · 11/09/2004 21:11

purplemum - thinking of you, so sorry xx ((hugs))

josephine27 · 11/09/2004 21:17

dear purple mum..im new to this site but have just been reading your thread and before i read the incredibly sad turn of events, i was about to send you a message.
however, more important things afoot now. hope you're all managing to talk and get through this together, but if you ever need to talk, i also have no family or friends around and have a 16month old daughter maybe when you feel up to it, we could give eachother a bit of support or even put the world to rights! i really hope you are ok? best wishes Joe

nightowl · 12/09/2004 03:49

sorry purplemum, all my love xx

aloha · 12/09/2004 10:39

Very sorry.

suzywong · 12/09/2004 10:42

sorry to hear that purplemum, I started toread you rthread at the beginning but couldn't offer any advice in addition the the wise MNers already posting.

Do hopey ou are taking it easy and putting your feet up.

biketastic · 13/09/2004 12:57

sorry peurplemum. I hope you feel better soon.
What alot of upheaval and stress for you. I do hope it all works out. I'm glad your dh is helping, he obviously loves you

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