OLD. What makes you immediately swipe left?

[TwistinMyMelon]

I may get flamed for some of these, but I'll start:

Tattoos (just not my thing)

Men holding big fish

Men with pictures of what is clearly their ex (or current) wife/girlfriend

Bare chested selfies with urinals in the back ground

Anyone who says "live, laugh, love"

No pictures of them at all, or group pictures

Slightly sinister/psycho sounding profiles

Dog/cat/angel filters
Caked in makeup
Pics of their kids
Drawn on eyebrows
Description that only says "just ask"
Ancient photos

Gym selfies, tight shirts, straining to keep in the overworked pecs and biceps (just buy a shirt that fits), pretty much all selfies now that I think about it.

"Living my best life"

Anybody who lives with their parents.

Anybody who poses with their car (unless it's an Aston Martin, in which case you've pulled!).

I agree with most of the above! I recently saw a profile where it was literally all group photos to the extent that it was impossible to work out which one the profile-owner actually was.

My personal pet peeves (mostly already mentioned):

• anything too clever or try-hard (e.g. the TripAdvisor style review already mentioned); it always comes across as lame to me
• clichés: I’ve seen “hoping to leave the single market before the UK does!” way too often
• very sporty profiles - great for some but not me
• gym photos
• photos in front of cars
• tattoos/piercings/other “trendy” looks (again, not my thing)
• any references to “having fun”, “casual” or “let’s see what happens”, as I’m looking for a relationship

Any kind of Instagram filter

Aggressive list of all the things they don't want in a woman/ date

A thousand sports photos- i do not believe there are that many olympic skiiers on bumble
University of life
Any sentence ending with “lol”- if it isn’t funny without it, it isn’t funny with it
Lists of “No...” - I saw one that said “no mothers crackwhores or fat birds”. Nice.
The word “kink”. I just think I’m going to be murdered after being forced to eat my own fingers.

“Poly”. Otherwise known as “married”. Go away.
Liked specifying things like hygeine- I mean, obviously- calling it out though makes you sound like howard hughes.
“Just ask”. Mate- noone, noone has the time.
Poses from below the double chin in a loo mirror
Poses without tops on (fellas please- there’s a reason page three men never took off)

‘Looking for someone open minded’ in my experience that means they’re into something really weird sexually.
Guys with pictures of their kids as a profile photo, bad spelling or grammar.

I'm really put off by "love travelling "
Because in my relatively short time on OLD, it usually means they go to Spain once a year on an all inclusive,
Or they went backpacking in Vietnam once in 2011 and have been dining out on that story ever since .

Yes!
Also I swipe left on the 'love travelling' or the 'want to have an adventure?' Types because I'm a single mum and I can't be jetting off on adventures. If they are just writing it to make themselves sound more interesting they are writing themselves off for a lot of women.

Pretty much all of the above!

The University of Life/School of Hard Knocks/Job-Got one etc.
Anything with Union Flags or Remembrance Day stuff.
Any comments such as 'no baggage', either them, or what they want.
Too sporty (is there really such a high percentage of super-sporty people in the world?).
Love travelling (so do I, but I have commitments).
Group photos/drinking photos/smoking photos/photos with kids or women/sporty photos/photos making certain gestures, particularly as the main picture.
Tattoos and piercings.
Anything where they say they're looking for a princess/partner in crime/soulmate or something cringey like that.

I am quite sympathetic about the photos because a lot of men don't have mates who take a lot of photos with them so they only have photos of themselves with their mum or at weddings or when fishing. I'm not looking for a partner who loves taking photos - I hate a good social occasion ruined by obsessive picture taking.

However, the profile:

I like nights in and nights out (what else is there?! The conservatory?)

Complaining about women being shallow or whatever

I don't actually mind the 'my children are my entire world' guys - at least I know to swipe left.

Photos with children, fish, topless, overweight, bald (yes I'm shallow!), manual job or minimum wage type job, photos with other women, someone who says they want children, men who say children are their world, too many tattoos, straggly beards. It's frankly quite incredible how I met my lovely partner on Tinder given how rarely I swiped right .

I take the dead fish photo and raise you posing with a live (well, assume live, certainly raw) lobster. 😂

How would you take it if you read “my friends describe me as a catch”?

Pet peeves - presence of beer glasses, bare torsos, tattoos, “no baggage”, “my mum would describe me as ....”, fish, pics with tongue sticking out, pics giving the V sign (I’ve seen many!!), guy who mentions he likes lingerie, being dominated/submissive, “world class cuddler”.

Football tops and golfing photos...

Oh, and men wearing scarves tied in a particular way that makes them look like they learned how to get dressed from a next catalogue in 1999 and haven't changed since!

Crikey, no wonder you lot are still single.
Might be easier to list what you like

LaMonster If you're in Scotland, I may well have come across the same profile pic. If not, there are two profile pics with lobsters out there!

I also unmatch anyone who asks me how it's going on tinder/bumble and king i've been on there.

That's my business not yours!

Also - face tattoos.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person on this planet who isn't covered in shit tattoos...

So many...
This will make me look shallow..but;
I really look at their surroundings... dodgy looking council flat..poor interior design and coats hanging off doors etc. ( I have no right as now in my own council house🤣🤣 but like to think it's quiet tasteful and arty😉😆)

Again bedroom shots unmade bed or horrible duvet 🤣

With mates in a pub... action man shots... topless or worse...

@surferjet the whole thing is so depressing that this list is making me giggle! There are many things I like, but this is ideal Sunday morning cheer.

Overflowing laundry baskets in the background....(sneaks off to put washing machine on)

Ginger153
Oh yes I agree. Good Sunday reading!
I’ve been married for years but I have friends on tinder etc, the stories they tell makes me wonder why people bother, I’d honestly rather be single.
One friend had a man get up & walk out half way through a meal, he politely made his excuses & just left! Friend reckons there’s so much choice out there that people won’t waste even an hour of their time because they know ‘someone new’ is just a swipe away.

Having said that, one or two have met really nice men on tinder & have been with them for years.

Great thread, made me giggle, I remember being on POF years ago and the ‘alright babez’ Messages and most could not spell and it was so cringe

Surferjet I've not had an experience like your friend, but it certainly does feel like people think that someone new/better is just a swipe away. I wonder if that's why I'm so picky with who I will meet, because there might be a better chance of finding someone I have a chance with?

Anyone with tattoos