I am really uncomfortable about this. What do you think?

[SilverHype]

A few days ago we saw a close family member who hasn’t seen dd for about six months, she’s 14. Pretty much the first comment he made to her was about how she’d developed and he couldn’t believe it, it was very clear what he meant. Dd was mortified and looked at me totally shocked and her face just flooded bright red. I was shocked and angry and told him immediately not to speak to her like that and that it was completely inappropriate for him to comment on her body and not to do it again. He brushed it off and changed the subject. Later I told her she never has to accept comments like that and if she doesn’t feel able to stand up for herself to tell me and I will help her to do it.

I’m just really bothered by it. He had been drinking and they’ve always got on well before but it was just so inappropriate and as a family member why would he think he should comment on this? I know there’s nothing else to really do or say but I just feel really bothered and angry about it. Dd has not mentioned it today but I am livid that this early age she’s got grown men already commenting on her body AND he’s supposedly a trusted family member.

I’ve name changed for this as I don’t want it related to my other posts. I’ve been on MN for years. What would you think about this? And did I handle it right?

To be fair, he had been drinking at the time, but he wasn't drunk. And what made it worse is my little brother was in the room at the time watching, he was three years younger. Neither of us ever mentioned it, my father would have literally killed him.

The point is though, there is just too many of these men out there, happily married family guys you'd never suspect.

Ok totally agree that

"Did you mean to sound like a paedophile?" Said loudly is the BEST response to something like this.

@Planespotting, it's great that your dad was able to transcend his old self with the help of his right thinking and assertive daughter 😁

@Bluntness, I suppose the fact that your brother was in the room at the same time means that he can kill two birds with one stone
your little brother gets the message that men can take advantage of women when they want to, and he's put in a situation where he is compromised, he has loyalty to his sister but is afraid to stand up to an adult who is doing something wrong
the fact that it happens while your brother was watching makes it all the more humiliating for you
fucking up two Minds for the price of one

I'm not suggesting that all this is necessarily consciously thought out and calculated, at least some of it is just an instinct to seek out vulnerable people and look for situations where they can be compromised
This instinct is then further refined and honed by conscious intentions

Well done you, OP. Your DD knows that this is unacceptable, knows that it can be and should be challenged and that you will also stand up for her.

When my DD3 was 15 she had an early morning paper round. A twat in a van started kerb crawling her and shouting out of his window that he wanted her to get in and suck his cock etc. She managed to get his registration number before he drove off and when she got home I called the police on 101. They took it very seriously, traced the twat and visited him at his home address to issue him with a formal warning.

Women and girls should not have to put up with such shit.

Good on you and your daughter Topseyt
reassuring to know that the police take this seriously