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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Made a complete idiot of myself drunk

90 replies

missthing3 · 25/01/2019 15:58

So here goes...
This is my first time posting on any thread so bare with me.
So I recently separated from my partner and have since began seeing someone I used to date years ago of whom I really liked. Over the past month me and this guy came back into contact and have began seeing each other again. We speak everyday and stay together once a week. Everything has been going absolutely fine until last night..
So last night I went for a few drinks with some girls and decided to message him. (Never a good idea when you’re drunk I know) To my delight he messaged back and we met up, on arriving I was VERY drunk !!! I hadn’t eaten the hole day due to severe anxiety at the moment. Instantly he began getting annoyed with me as he was sober and I was drunk. We spent an hour together and then he ordered me a taxi home.
When in the taxi I explained to the taxi driver with my slurred speech, I only had card. He told me to contact the taxi firm in which I did and they said “we will cover the cost but please don’t order a taxi again” The taxi driver dropped me home and then I get a txt.. the guy I was seeing had massaged me going MAD saying that the taxi driver had called him and said i had done a “runner” and that if he didn’t pay then they would send the police. I explained to him the situation and he was not buying it. He instantly blocked me on all social media, so I called him and he said he was really unhappy as he had the taxi driver threatening him. I instantly called the taxi firm and they hadn’t a clue about the driver calling my guy and instantly apologised, they agreed he should not have contacted my guy as we had set up an arrangement.
So today I txt him and apologised for my drunken self and his reply was that he doesn’t need stress and I had really pissed him off, we’re never gonna be together so stop seeing each other and for future reference don’t drink around guys cause it makes you a different person” then blocked my number. So now i am absolutely gutted!! Not only have I fucked everything up for the sake of a bottle of wine, but now he hates me and I feel so sad and my anxiety is at absolute maximum! Now I can’t eat or sleep 😪
I never mentioned at the start of this he has cut me off twice before. He was in a long relationship and had split up and slept with other girls on numerous occasions (stupid me I kno) and I recently lent him a considerable amount of money,
So I just want advice really or some words of comfort.
Thanks :)

OP posts:

BrendasUmbrella · 25/01/2019 17:07

You can file at small claims court to get your money back. Look it up. Or ask under Legal Matters.

LuckyLou7 · 25/01/2019 17:09

You've dodged a bullet by the sound of it. He sounds a thoroughly unpleasant piece of work. Ask for your money back immediately, then move on with your head held high. You deserve better than this twat.You will be feeling awful today because of The Fear- it will pass, and you'll start to feel so much better. Look after yourself, comfort food and a rubbish film to watch tonight

Confusedalarms · 25/01/2019 17:11

£500? And he’s blocked you? He’s a fucking chancer. Have you got any well-built brothers or male friends? Send them round to his house to collect your money.

Passing4Human · 25/01/2019 17:12

You got drunk - a temporary state and you're sober today, but he'll wake up still being an arsehole.

The history of cutting you off - that's no way to treat someone. You're honestly well rid and it sounds to me like he was on his way out with the relationship anyway and that he used what happened as a convenient and flimsy excuse. I bet he tries to get out of giving you the money you loaned him back, "I can't believe you're asking me about that after all the stress you put me through that night" etc... blah blah. Twat. I hope you get your money back though OP.

SpinneyHill · 25/01/2019 17:18

Just write the £500 off and put down to lesson learned

The lesson being taught is "if you borrow money and act like a righteous dick to the person who lent it to you then you don't have to pay it back"

Don't do this OP he took the piss because he's identified you as a soft touch he doesn't give a shit about. Get the money back.

Also call him out on his shitty lame-ass attempt to dodge paying it back, loser that he is

foxinthemist · 25/01/2019 17:21

I never mentioned at the start of this he has cut me off twice before. He was in a long relationship and had split up and slept with other girls on numerous occasions (stupid me I kno) and I recently lent him a considerable amount of money

This has got shit all to do with how drunk you were last night.
This has got everything to do with this man being a dick.
You are being used - for sex, for money - and you need to get rid

SpinneyHill · 25/01/2019 17:29

For a loan of £500 most could fake being nice for an hour, how little must he think of you?

I'd be blowing steam out me ears and stamping to his with a mouth full of swears in your position. Most would be

O4FS · 25/01/2019 17:39

Being sober when someone else is pissed is never that much fun. But it doesn’t warrant his shitty behaviour.

You will feel better in the morning.

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 25/01/2019 17:51

@SpinneyHill - Yes he is an arsehole but if she's suffering with her anxiety then trying to get it back is more hassle than it's worth. He doesn't care - he's blocked her at every avenue so how is she meant to get it back? Going to his house to 'demand' it back is putting her in a vulnerable position. In the grand scheme of things £500 isn't worth any of this.

HeebieJeebies456 · 25/01/2019 17:54

He's a dick for blocking you when he knows he owes you money.
If you can't afford to write it off then send him a recorded letter asking for repayment.
Are you prepared to take him to small claims court to get the money back?

The main thing is you need to be responsible for yourself.
I've lived on my own for years and have got taxi's home from drunken nights out - sometimes so drunk i had no memory of the last hours or getting home..... yet i always woke up safe and unhurt in my own flat with my front door locked and the key in the door.

He didn't do anything wrong by not walking you to a cashpoint at stupid O'clock or paying your fare.
Did he even have enough cash at home for your taxi fare?
He called you a registered taxi to get you home safely and that's where his 'responsibility' ended.
He's not your boyfriend - he's just a rebound booty call.

Your priority right now should be your own MH and wellbeing and taking your meds - not getting involved with another man to the level where you're loaning him hundreds of pounds after 'seeing' him for 4 weeks!

I always put taxi-money aside in cash because i don't want to risk losing my card to the ATM when/if i can't get my pin correct.
No matter how drunk i've been i never spent my taxi fare on booze.

I'm not sure i believe this - He told me to contact the taxi firm in which I did and they said “we will cover the cost
Not when you had your card on you and they could have either taken payment over the phone or the driver took you to an ATM.
If it's true then the taxi driver is the one who would be covering that expense from his own pocket, so i'm not surprised he went knocking on your ex-lover's door.

Claw001 · 25/01/2019 18:02

Fuck him, how dare he block you on everything when he owes you £500!

Don’t contact him to apologise, you already did that. Contact him to ask how he plans on paying you back!

HeebieJeebies456 · 25/01/2019 18:03

Forgot to add - they agreed he should not have contacted my guy as we had set up an arrangement

So how/when did you set up an arrangement to repay them?
The only convo you had was them telling you they were covering your fare...

Original poster

missthing3 · 25/01/2019 18:41

HeebieJeebies456 So basically I am very regular customer of this firm! So I know them-ish.. so when I rang the form whilst bong in the car, they said “we will cover the cost but don’t order a taxi again” so that’s when I suggested to them that I would drop the money by 6pm today in which they were happy with! And I have done so too...
The guy who ordered me he taxi (who I was seeing) said he was angry as the taxi had rang him and said he was coming to his house? And phoning he police? But the funny thing about that is that the taxi driver picked me up from a pub?! So how would he have said he was gonna go to the guys house with no address? Another thing that’s thrown me out is why would he call him and threaten him when the driver has dropped me to my door so knows my address? Plus like I said after their gesture I agreed to pay it by 6pm today x

OP posts:

Original poster

missthing3 · 25/01/2019 18:44

So I tried to call him earlier off unknown as there isn’t any other way of contacting him due to him blocking me etc and no answer.. so god knows 🙈

OP posts:

whitetoblerone · 25/01/2019 19:03

This guy is lying about them ringing him! What a dick.

Do what you can to get your money back and enjoy your life without him, OP. You clearly deserve better

Claw001 · 25/01/2019 19:13

He has blocked you, so you have no way of contacting him and he owes you £500.

He has broken up with you because the cab driver phoned him and said you didn’t pay the fare! (Although this isn’t what happened!) and you told him so.

I would be annoyed at myself for loaning him £500. Annoyed at him, not ‘heartbroken!

A very expensive lesson to learn. Delete him, move on.

justthecat · 25/01/2019 19:32

So do you know where he lives/ works ? Go get that money !

HollowTalk · 25/01/2019 19:48

Small claims court is what you need for this man.

rytonsister · 25/01/2019 20:05

do you know his address? id turn up and ask for the money back. he is a total fucking knob OP and i hope you see that now.

if no answer invoice him once and tell him to pay up or its small claims court. he has totally taken advantage of you.

rytonsister · 25/01/2019 20:07

oh and i would take someone as a witness too. someone who takes no shite.

SpinneyHill · 26/01/2019 03:16

He didn't answer because he knows it was you, any normal adult would expect you to call and he owes you money.

He has taken the piss, he's used you. If you don't want to go round, text him simply ask when he will be able to pay you back. If it's easier on you then don't show anger, tell him you wouldn't be asking but something's come up and you need it repaid.

He needed £500 then and you need it now. You can apologise for being so pissed if that works for you.

(I would be swearing and using words like piss-taker, user, loser but that doesn't mean you have to)

Monty27 · 26/01/2019 04:23

Oh gaslighter

Patroclus · 26/01/2019 07:45

I think hes bullshitting. They have maybe contacted him to just see if he could pay insteead and hes said that instead.

MumsyJ · 26/01/2019 07:47

Sounds to me he's been looking for an excuse not to pay up. You best chase him to pay up, crafty git!
That was an over reaction on his part, a reasonable and considerate person would make sure you're safe in that state by you staying over until the morning at least?
Don't beat yourself up, it couldn't have been as bad as he's making out. He just wants to run away without paying your money back.

NotTheFordType · 26/01/2019 09:48

OP, has he already paid back the money you loaned him?

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