Is this sweet or would it put you off?

[Totallyaddictedtobass]

I have a tendency to back off from the decent ones and pursue the bad boys or men where a relationship would be challenging to get to..ie they work abroad or have personal issues to work though, whatever it is it’s not straightforward.

Chatted to a man online once on the phone and a had about an hour messaging before that the day before. He’s since text me to say he’s prepared me a playlist that he wants to send to me, now he’s got a feel of the sort of music I like (our music taste came up briefly during the phone call the other night).

My reaction is to think that’s quite odd and full on. But am I doing my usual thing of pushing away someone who is simply being nice and it’s something to see as quite sweet rather than a red flag?

Next his ass.

Mix tapes, or whatevs, before you've actually met (or met once or twice) is a massive needy AF Redflag.

Have you seen a picture of this guy @TotallyAddicted?

I'd find it a little over eager but my boundaries are pretty screwed so no idea really.

I'd listen and see what you think as no harm can come from listening. You may even add a band/singer to your list of favourites if nothing else.

This is quite common, I used to get 'mix tape' CDs at school and occasionally had music sent to me.
Thing is, when people send you music, they're trying to let you get to know them. And it can help you judge whether you want to take it further or not so is quite useful really 😂

I think its a nice thing. DH did one for me back in the days when it took effort, stopping and starting tapes. We've been married 37 years now.

I wouldn’t appreciate it. It’s too soon. You haven’t even met.

Honestly, I'd find that full on and a bit presumptuous..maybe verging on a bit creepy. But then I do tend to go down the route of 'I'll let you know if I'm interested, otherwise leave me alone' so what do I know? 😄

I find it slightly full on and a bit strange, think I'm in the minority there though. Can't actually say why I feel like that and it prob at wouldn't out me off meeting with him or keeping in contact, but I would find it slightly odd.

Well I'm not a commitment phobe, but I wouldn't like this and it would make me cringe too. It's like he's trying too hard to act like the stereotypical cute guy he imagines ladies fall for

he sounds like a neckbeard does he wear a fedora?

its a nope from me

Meh, it's a playlist, which are easy to put together these days, not like a mix tape of old with hand decorated cover art and neatly written track listings. Listen to the playlist first. If it's full of love songs and Chris de Burgh then perhaps that's overkill for this stage!

Ralphfromlordoftheflies I hardly know any women that fall for ‘cute’ men, do you?

It’s a red flag if he’s only acting the way that he thinks a woman would want him to act, what’s wrong with just being himself?

Well you’ll know if ‘Lady in red’ is on it to ltb

It’s a bit over keen. But it means nothing. He could be just as unavailable as the men you’re used to, or he could be a wonderful human being.

You haven’t met him. He could be either.

After a few dates yes, but this soon. No I think I'd be backtracking. How does he know he'll like you in reality? He's too keen.

And don't get me started on men who write poetry.

I thought men that wrote poetry were just made up men for the sake of TV!

That’s something that pisses me off, that in most American things where love stories come up, then he’s usually an expert in his University major of English Literature and his favourite play is, of course Shakespeare, so damn cheesy and I’d hate that, I don’t even particularly like Shakespeare!

This is a total gift! If, like me, you would just someone badly if they had awful music taste he is making it nice and easy for you

I love Lady in Red ...

just saying.

What's a neck beard?

It is sweet but he does sound quite emotionally invested already.
Music is incredibly evocative and linked to our feelings.
I guess I would be wondering if this is how he gets with everyone (red flag), or just me (totally fine!).
If it's the latter, then I'd bloody love it. I've been on the online dating scene a while, and guys who make a serious effort like this are few and far between.
Let us know how it goes!

Why don't you reciprocate and include 'Movin' Too Fast' by Artful Dodger and 'Claustrophobic' by P J Morton

Not necessarily a red flag per se, but could be one for you. I could never stand archetypal 'gentlemanly' behaviour such as darting round to the passenger door to help me out of the car, opening doors for me, and insisting on paying if we were out. Nothing awful, and probably seen as positives by some, but just made me curl up inside. Luckily dh of 25 years didn't do any of those, nor has he ever made a playlist for me!

He sounds a bit wet.

I would not like this in the slightest

Very sweet, romantic, attentive and thoughtful.

And, yes, very normal!

Good luck!

If he is in to music this isn't a big deal. And it depends on what's on the playlist.

My Dp lives music is always making playlists anyway. He made one for me quite early on. But to him it's not a big deal. I knew him and he found some music he though I would like.

It's not like back invyhe day where he had to get his tape player and CD player and keep swooping cds to make it. Or waiting all day for something to cime on the radio to press record. It's a quick thing.

Like I said it may depend on what's pnbthe playlist

Has he sent you the playlist. Was it good?
If He hasnt I wouldn't even believe he had done one.
I would assume this is one of his lines he rolls out thinking all women would 'love it'
That's why I would bin him off, but I am a cynicl cow so.....
In all seriousness, if he has done one I would be find it so cringe and strange. Someone not knowing me, thinking they could create a list of music I would like, based on one brief online conversation. No thanks mate.