Hi, I’ve written here before about some problems with the way my husband speaks to me. I wasn’t going to post anymore as I’ve received support and advice but another incident has left me feeling confused.
I thought we had had quite a nice weekend, I did huff and puff a bit this afternoon as my husband is prone to giving me direction sometimes when it comes to looking after our daughter and he speaks in a way that makes me feel like I work for him. I’ve told him lots of times that I don’t like it, but he usually says I’m being defensive.Tonight he made a comment about being tired, he is always tired and has lots of naps at the weekend and won’t really come out and about with me and our daughter. I said jokingly ‘you’re always tired’ and he’s got so mad he’s threatened to leave and it’s escalated to a terrible issue. He said it was a vindictive thing to say and has brought up all sorts of serious things, almost like he was trying to spoil the weekend.
I feel like I have to be so careful about what I say, but anything I say is shut down by saying I’m defensive. I started crying and he essentially said I am a bit crazy and unable to communicate like an adult and he can’t deal with me. He has told me a list of issues I need to address and brought up things that happened with our wedding years ago. Unfortunately we had just lost a baby at the time and his family were very insensitive and demanding to the point of unkindness. I was very hurt at the time as was he but he’s now made it seem that it was just me and that I have made him choose between us and affected his relationship with them all. I feel so confused as this has all stemmed from me joking about him always being tired. He has threatened to leave me and basically questioned whether he is even attracted to me. I just feel like weeping. My mum is also fed up with me at the moment and all my emotions feel so numb and I can’t speak to anyone in reality. Is this just normal life and I’m too sensitive to communicate properly or am I completely awful?