Does anyone else's DH take this view?

[Esparadis]

2 young children- 1 is a baby.
She wakes a lot during the night. She is breastfed, but only feeds twice during the night- she just wants to be held and cuddled the rest of the time.
I've tried co-sleeping but because she can smell my milk, she wakes crying constantly if my nipple is not in her mouth, she takes a dummy but only wants boob when co-sleeping. I therefore get more sleep when she's in her own cot in her own room despite the night waking.
I go to bed early (9pm) and I ask DH to tend to her until 12 and then from 6am, I do the chunk inbetween. The idea is that he gets 6 hours of solid sleep for work.
However, DH seems to think I "should" be able to manage everything... he has never said this explicitly but has said
"Some womens' husbands work away and so they have to manage themselves during the night." I think I manage quite well. This is largely because he doesnt wany to get up at 6am. But the baby feeds at 5am, so I just need that extra bit of sleep before I'm up with the toddler.
It's not unreasonable for him to give me a hand is it? Do other husbands take this view?

No my partner does not take this view at all. DD is 7, if she has a nightmare (which she does, regularly) we still split the time.

He was in the middle of his final exams for his masters (he was only 21 too which shouldnt matter) and he STILL got up with me and the baby. i did the breast feeding, he did the nappies. When she went to bottle we swapped prep/feeds on different nights.

Your husband for some reason feels entitled to sleep because he works, and for some reason thinks that you staying at home isn't work. i would be having that conversation with him.

Ive begged him to try going to bed earlier but he says he can't and that he's a night owl!
So was I before I became knackered and sleep deprived before children! This really irritates me as he is CHOOSING not to adapt in my eyes.
As for daytime naps! Hahaha!!

A night owl can jump up and settle the baby , right?

Sorry op , this isn't fair on you at all.

so what time is he going to bed? I had little sympathy for him before, now I have none. SIL's DP used to say that kind of thing. "Oh, I can't go to bed early, I need some time in the evening to unwind etc." but then he couldn't get up with their DC either because he was too tired and had to work. Twat.

Esparadis, your DH honestly sounds even worse after your updates. He needs to change his attitude drastically and immediately, otherwise you are both (but mostly you) in for an utterly miserable existence together. It will get worse.

Would you consider showing him this thread so he can see what life looks like for dozens of other young families?

DD was EBF and was up every 90 minutes or so for months on end. Even in the early days when it would have been easy (and technically correct) for DH to say “you may as well do all the night stuff, Coastal, because she only wants BFing”, he didn’t. He got up. He made sure I had drinks and he held my hand. Then he changed DD’s nappy and tried to settle her, although 99/100 times DD would only settle for me. He still tried though. Because he wanted to be supportive and we are a team. Occasionally (maybe once a month) he would ask if he could slee in the spare room and have a “night off” because he had an important meeting or a long drive the following day. I was happy for him to do so, and probably would have been happy for him to do this more often actually because again, we’re a team, and we are both working towards the same aim - a happy, healthy family with the bills paid up.

I’m not saying all of this to brag or rub your nose in it. More to point out that this is what love and consideration and teamwork looks like. Your DH is not a team player and he is behaving selfishly. He needs to change his outlook, because otherwise you will not have a happy home. Resentment will build and he will walk all over you.

Can see both sides here.