Wife isn't attracted or in love with me anymore, any way back?

[SecretCH]

Hello everyone, so it's as simple & devastating as the title suggests, my wife told me in June she hadn't been happy with our marriage since January, we had a bit of a break, seemed to sort things out and have since had another 2-3 breaks. We've been together 14 years, married 4, the current break has been since December 28th when she told me she isn't attracted or in love with me, we have 2 kids 2&4 and I idolise the 3 of them. I asked if there's someone else and she said there isn't, I'm the only person she's been with and I'm totally lost now. We tried a weekend away & got on so well, it wasn't a "dirty weekend" as I'm scared to touch her tbh as I don't want to come across as pushy. Has anyone recovered from a similar situation or should I just accept it, look for a place to live & start divorce proceedings?

"Mate, please don't take this the wrong way, but just bloody tell her."

This. 100%

@ravenmum Funnily enough, when a woman in the OP's situation posts the same thing, 90% of the replies will be that she stays put and that as he wants out of the marriage, it's for him to fuck off out of the house. I see no reason why it should be any different because the OP is a man.

The thing I'm struggling with is we're still good friends, there's no arguing, shouting or hate.

FML

Well statistically men are more likely to cheat

If that's true then mathematically those many men must be cheating with far fewer ladies who are super promiscuous..

I think the idea of both staying in the house but sleeping in separate rooms is a good one. Less stressful. Les one-up-manship about who's on who's territory in these early stages.

I hope it all stays amicable OP. But be prepared for it not to. A family lawyer acting on your behalf will work towards a fair arrangement financially. They'll look carefully into provision for the children.

Well we have a sofa bed, I've suggested I sleep on it for now, I don't want to kick her out I'm not a nasty person.

In the long run if you can keep things amicable it will serve you both in the future, so do try and be civil. Trust me when I say no-one gain form a nuclear divorce meltdown.

Trust me when I say no-one gain form a nuclear divorce meltdown

Agreed.

I stuck around in my marriage to XH too long and it went tits up in a spectacular way. To stay amicable it's better to part sooner than later for reasons which don't involve a third party which would make feeling run a lot higher even if both of you know your marriage is over already.

@Shatnerswig - Equally, my reply to people saying a man has to leave is usually that you can't just chuck him out of his own house if he doesn't want to go. This being my experience, as I mentioned.