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Original poster

Do you have friends you could go away for the weekend with?

63 replies

DontBiteYourSisterPlease · 13/01/2019 20:01

I'm feeling a little downhearted and resentful this evening. DH has been arranging his annual skiing trip with a group of his mates. The same group go away 3-4 times a year but in February it's always skiing.

My sister mentioned going away with group of old friends from school, they try to get a few weekends away per year to spa hotels, glamping, or they are at the age of hen dos etc.

I haven't got a group of friends like that, never really have had. I've got some lovely acquaintances, colleagues and friends I see from time to time in real life, plus an antenatal group that keeps in touch by text. So I know I should be grateful for having some nice people in my life. I just can't seem to form very close, long lasting bonds with people and get to a stage where going on holiday or even to an event together seems like a natural thing. Any socialising I do is play dates, work-related or family.

Anyone else? Any tips? I feel like these things should come naturally. It sounds bad but I would love to leave the DC with my husband for the weekend. I've just got nowhere to go and no one to go with

OP posts:

3boysandabump · 13/01/2019 20:03

Not friends but I could/would go with my sil.

Waddsup12 · 13/01/2019 20:03

Nope, no-one I'd go away with...

Youmadorwhat · 13/01/2019 20:05

Yes, two separate groups. One from secondary school and a group from uni. Going to a concert and hotel overnight stay with secondary school group in early July and spending a week in a holiday cottage with uni friends and their families, we all have DH’s and two Dc’s each so it’s lots of fun.

Tips wise maybe invit ppl round more for play dates and then arrange a mums night out, build up relationships that way.

secretmetoo · 13/01/2019 20:06

Could you ask your sister to go with her?

greendale17 · 13/01/2019 20:06

Yes- three separate groups

WatchingFromTheWings · 13/01/2019 20:07

Nope. I go away by myself! Book into a hotel, take 2 bottles (one of red wine, one of bubble bath!) and I enjoy the peace and quiet! Sometimes I'll make a shopping weekend out of it. I'm just as happy with my own company though.

bellsbuss · 13/01/2019 20:16

Yes 3 groups of friends and I also go away with my sisters , you could ask your antenatal friends to meet up then suggest a spa day and maybe progress from there.

SuperSuperSuper · 13/01/2019 20:22

I have three groups that I can and do go away with. Also, last year I become friends with three women through our sons' sport and we've gone from coffees/chitchat at the matches to a couple of Saturday nights out in recent months - I reckon they'd be up for a weekend away eventually, too. So, maybe four groups.

Why not suggest it to your ante natal lot? Maybe start with Saturday morning until Sunday night in a UK
city with good nightlife.

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 13/01/2019 20:23

No friends full stop.

ShallWeJustForgetBrexit · 13/01/2019 20:24

No.
I wouldn't go on a hen do that involved more than a meal.
I never want to go to a spa.
I run out of conversation after 2 hours so don't think I'd be great to go away

CMOTDibbler · 13/01/2019 20:24

Nope.

Helpmeltb · 13/01/2019 20:29

Yes, but all related to my hobbies. For example, my caving group have a yearly summer trip. Diving is fairly regular weekends away.

InternetRandomer · 13/01/2019 20:37

God no. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than go away with my friends. I like them for a coffee and lunch but going away is far too intimate I suppose for me. I like holidays with dh and dc or dm and dsis.

SandyY2K · 13/01/2019 20:45

As it happens I'm usually the organiser of these things.

I have sisters...so I also go away just with them and SIL. I also go away on my own sometimes. Lovely spa and a book. It's great. Don't let no mates stop you going.

I think you should suggest it to the antenatal group as a pp suggested.

Trevorwhatever · 13/01/2019 22:36

Yes 4 different groups. I used to be reclusive but I’ve changed and now love doing holidays, weekend breaks, trips away with groups of friends.

ElvisParsley · 13/01/2019 22:41

Nope. Wish I did, but have spent all my life on the periphery, never really had a friendship group.

category12 · 13/01/2019 22:48

Not really. But it's not the sort of thing I'd like anyway. I don't really like having to do what other people want .

Musti · 13/01/2019 22:51

Yes, quite a few but I'm very sociable. Why don't you arrange one if you want?

Waddsup12 · 13/01/2019 23:12

Hard to do if you're not that way inclined usually and/or a periphery person. My sibling is always off with people, I didn't get the "my girls" gene.

user1494670108 · 13/01/2019 23:13

I have 3 groups I go away with, two I ski with, one is families and the other is a girls ski weekend with some of the same people. The other are friends I made at dd's infant school (she's now y10). I count myself very lucky indeed.
I'm a sahm, when I worked I would have struggled with this as I had no time or energy to invest in friendships beyond a few close by

Dunin · 13/01/2019 23:15

Nope. I am sociable but I’d hate having to spend a weekend with a group of people. I like my own space. I don’t think I’m interesting enough. Happy to do coffee/lunch etc but that’s enough for me. I’ve done lots of travelling and spa trips so I’ve sort of seen it all maybe. I prefer sitting on my couch watching Netflix on a Saturday eve. Wouldn’t mind a group of friends to do theatre/cinema trips with though

Dunin · 13/01/2019 23:17

How do people manage to keep school Mum friendship groups going? Every group of school mum friends I’ve had have all ended up splitting due to bickering/bitching/toxicity. Women are exhausting and I find them pretty bitchy. Talking about each other behind backs etc. Think I got unlucky with our school groups :(

oiiiiiii · 13/01/2019 23:20

I have just been invited to my very first ever girls trip. I'm 35. It's an antenatal group but our kids are 4-7 in age now... I was always on the awkward periphery of this group until the kids got older and the other mum's noticed I was actually fun and that it was worth putting up with me being a single working mum after all (!) (They're all with their dc dad's and almost all are sahp).

I've nearly given up on this group a dozen times! I happened to persevere... And here we are, seem I sort of have a friend group now.

Don't lose heart op. Most folk who have these sorts of friend groups invest loads of disappointment and aggro in them tbh...

If you really want to do stuff like this, it's remarkable how easily you can fill a roster just by organising it yourself.

minipie · 13/01/2019 23:21

I know exactly what you mean OP. I don’t have a tight knit group, I have a lot of groups I’m part of but not central to, and then I have a few close individual friends. I’d love a ski weekend away!

Maybe I need to be braver and be the one to suggest the trip...

llangennith · 13/01/2019 23:27

In a word, no.

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