Do you have friends you could go away for the weekend with?

[DontBiteYourSisterPlease]

I'm feeling a little downhearted and resentful this evening. DH has been arranging his annual skiing trip with a group of his mates. The same group go away 3-4 times a year but in February it's always skiing.

My sister mentioned going away with group of old friends from school, they try to get a few weekends away per year to spa hotels, glamping, or they are at the age of hen dos etc.

I haven't got a group of friends like that, never really have had. I've got some lovely acquaintances, colleagues and friends I see from time to time in real life, plus an antenatal group that keeps in touch by text. So I know I should be grateful for having some nice people in my life. I just can't seem to form very close, long lasting bonds with people and get to a stage where going on holiday or even to an event together seems like a natural thing. Any socialising I do is play dates, work-related or family.

Anyone else? Any tips? I feel like these things should come naturally. It sounds bad but I would love to leave the DC with my husband for the weekend. I've just got nowhere to go and no one to go with

Nope.

I wonder how some people manage to do it, and others are left forever floundering for friends. Someone I know moved to a village and a couple of months later was going on a "girls' holiday" to Amsterdam. I have lived here 15 years and in spite of my best efforts have drawn a blank on just having a coffee, let alone going on a minibreak.

Same with school. Made decent acquaintances at school gate, but I couldn't imagine going away with anyone.

Also there is that oft-trotted out MN thing about you are a loser if you try to make friends as an adult, and that everyone knows you should only have time for those friends you met as a foetus.

Yes I do but not every one does. It's not strange at all. My sister wouldn't and neither does my DP. Neither of them are social misfits or anything.

And it's never too late to form a group. I found out (too late) my dp had been invited on a lads skiing trip with people he knows through a hobby. He declined saying it wouldn't be fair on me with young baby at home. I told him next time if he wanted to go we would work around it and see if we had the funds.

I didn't have until a few years ago and I'm 50 now!
One friend I met through my hobby, and is half my age, and another who is a mum from dc2's school. Now they both know and like each other, so we've been away together (last year, for the first time, and I actually told them both how happy I was that I could do this kind of thing).

It takes time, and a little leap of faith, I think. I worried endlessly before my first trip away with friend one, but it turns out we're llike peas in a pod. Ditto friend two.

However- my XH, who had no friendship group at all while we were together, joined MeetUp two years ago, and hasn't looked back. He spent New Year's Eve with a hiking group, having a bonfire on the beach. I have to admit it looked like lots of fun. Definitely give them a go, because this is exactly what they're for.

@IrmaFayLear - "Also there is that oft-trotted out MN thing about you are a loser if you try to make friends as an adult, and that everyone knows you should only have time for those friends you met as a foetus."
I've literally never read that on mumsnet!

Gosh, I have. Plenty of times. I have read hundreds of sneery posts over the years about people joining the PTA or trying to talk to people at the school gate. And in real life, too, I've been headed off at the pass with the "No vacancies!" trill (ie that Seinfeld bit where he says he only likes old friends, no need for new ones).

Yes group of friends from school and uni, wags of the husbands (we are as good friends as them now after many years), group of ex work colleagues and group of mums. Each group goes out regularly and sometimes we go away. With the wags we do family holidays too. Also mums and daughters weekends. Good to go away with kids but great to have some grown up time too

Never noticed that on here either, Irma. It is true it's hard to break into established groups tho.

Absolutely, friends are so important.

Could never be in a Velcro relationship where this doesn’t happen

Yes but can't afford it and won't be able to for ages, and it takes us ages to sort a date due to work rotas, other commitments etc. Wish I could see my friends more often though. None of them are local so weekend meetups are the only opportunity for us to hang out.

Nope, nobody 🙁

No and it's really depressing. I went to lovely caravan in the summer with the dog for 10 days. It was gorgeous, boiling hot and like a holiday in the med, but after a few days I did miss human company. I felt sad and not really likely had a break. Everywhere there were families and friends talking, interacting, just being together.

I imagine if I had a social life i would have been appreciative of the time alone. As it is I dread coming home at night.

Would love to get the opportunity but it's a mission and a half just getting my girlfriends out for one night because of families, work etc!
Have done a day trip with a friend made fairly recently and we both had a blast and are planning more for later in the year.
Went abroad last year, first time it was just me and dc (since separating from my ex) and it was so good we have aleady booked this years summer hols.

Would love a girls weekend or short break when dcs are at their dads but as I'm the only single one everyone else too busy/loved up to bother!

I really only got going at that when dc were older so don't despair. Suddenly the friends l had were freer as was l and there is one leader type who pulled it all together.Not me! Since then we have done it a few times and it has been fun . So two thing. Someone needs to step and plan it..maybe one night to start. And you will find as dc are bigger more people will be freer.