Do you have friends you could go away for the weekend with?

[DontBiteYourSisterPlease]

I'm feeling a little downhearted and resentful this evening. DH has been arranging his annual skiing trip with a group of his mates. The same group go away 3-4 times a year but in February it's always skiing.

My sister mentioned going away with group of old friends from school, they try to get a few weekends away per year to spa hotels, glamping, or they are at the age of hen dos etc.

I haven't got a group of friends like that, never really have had. I've got some lovely acquaintances, colleagues and friends I see from time to time in real life, plus an antenatal group that keeps in touch by text. So I know I should be grateful for having some nice people in my life. I just can't seem to form very close, long lasting bonds with people and get to a stage where going on holiday or even to an event together seems like a natural thing. Any socialising I do is play dates, work-related or family.

Anyone else? Any tips? I feel like these things should come naturally. It sounds bad but I would love to leave the DC with my husband for the weekend. I've just got nowhere to go and no one to go with

Yes but it's mainly me and one or two others and generally visiting another friend or going to gigs.

I went away five times last year with friends which is a lot for me and an exception I think. It just happened that there was a lot going on. I went on a proper group trip for the first time and it was messy but really good fun and I'm definitely going to try and do it more.

Most of us are on tight budgets so we don't do anything extravagant or go very far usually.

I'm lucky that I have good friends I can plan stuff with but often feel lonely anyway which is probably silly.

@WatchingfromtheWings
That sounds just like me!

No.

No. I have lots of friends but no ‘groups’, not anymore anyway

Thanks for the replies. I could try suggesting something small to a few people and see what happens. Maybe I'll be surprised! The worst they can say is no.

Ps maybe all the folk without a group can form our own group. Shall we book Verbier or Tignes?

Yes, but not a group. I can think of 5 friends who I have been away with but none of them know each other so it’s always been a one-on-one trip.

In theory, yes. I have many friends who most definitely would.
But I'm still a student and so many last-minute things can just appear out of nowhere.
(Plus, I'm not one for going out much).

Not groups but go on weekends with individual friends and meet a group annually in the UK. (A tour thing but we've all bc friendly thru FB and repeated tours)

However, I'd enjoy getting away by myself with a good bottle of wine and a good book in a place with good shopping!

I can't imagine anything worse. If I wanted to go away I'd take my kids and go somewhere. I've never understood the idea that people need to get away from the families .

Yeah I’ve a few groups of people I could do that with. And one person I met only 2 yrs ago and we do it a few times a year so it’s not like it’s only people I’ve known foreverZ there’s loads of people I would happily do this with. How about asking someone you’re comfortable around if they fancy it (just casually) and if they seem into the idea, just arrange it! You’d be surprised how easy it is to spend time with many different people.

Birdie6, love the dig at people while also showing your superior parenting. Well played in such a short few words!

Nope, i dont even have someone i can call for emergency babysitting

I could have written your post OP. I see others doing things with “the girls” and I really feel like I’m missing out on that bond with one or a handful of really close friends. No words of wisdom I’m afraid but just posting to let you know you are not alone.

Nope
But that’s probably because I never have any money to spend on a trip with dd, let alone without her.
All my friends have other friends they go away with, just not me!

Yeah I have one group that I go away with, together or just one or two of us. I worry I'm boring after a few hours as well, so I find it slightly stressful even if I'm enjoying myself.
Do you ski, OP? Couldn't you go with your DH and his friends?

I have no sisters but as a wider family I have been on a girls trip to Spain, even brought my nan who was 80 at the time!

My small friendship group is weird as we all live in the same street but two of my friends have had a massive fall out over money and haven't spoken in 9 months ( and they live next door to eachother ) but we have never been away.
One of them has a severely disabled child,
one is always skint etc etc. It would never happen.

I also have my best friend from childhood but she has another larger group of friends who she goes away with who are all massive drinkers, not my scene any more.

After reading this thread i feel like i need a new group of friends

Agree it would be lovely if those without friends could meet others in the same boat.

can't imagine anything worse. If I wanted to go away I'd take my kids and go somewhere. I've never understood the idea that people need to get away from the families

What will you do in the future when the kids are grown up and you might be alone

I have got friends I could go away with but it is rare. Once every couple of years.

3-4 times a year definitely not - I am not that close to anyone but DH. I could probably cultivate better friendships but I don’t because I want to go home and be with my family.

Another one who spent her life on the periphery. I have one friend I technically would want to go away with, but it would never actually happen,given the most we can manage is a pub lunch a couple times a year.

For those lonely folk, may I suggest to you the MN FB group, set up by exactly the same kind of women as you: www.facebook.com/groups/157359198205004/

No, have a couple of friends I visit though from school

Yes - I have a group of friends from childhood that I go away with once a year and a group of local Mum friends who I also go away witha couple of times a year for a weekend. We just hire a cottage with a hot tub or do a city break.
I also have been away with a few other smaller groups of friends but not as a regular thing, but for birthday weekends and that kind of thing.
I would go with my sister if she was able but she has a young baby who is still BF.
Some of the smaller groups I've gone away with haven't been people that I've been hugely close to but we've bonded on the weekend away and actually had a great time so done it again.
My DH also has two trips away with friends a year, snow boarding and surfing.
I have three kids and have no qualms about going away for a night or two.

One family we might go away with as a family, because of my close friendship with the DW.

Mums from my main friendship group go away with their DCs but they don't invite me. They occasionally tell me if they are going out but I suspect they basically don't want my DS there.

OP, have you looked at Meetup? There are lots of different groups on there that do this sort of thing. E.g. I've seen groups that are things like weekend trips for women in their 30s; weekend hikes for women; holidays for people in their 40s; groups to go to the cinema with; groups to go out to dinner with, etc. etc.

Granted, initially these would be strangers and not the close friends you describe in your OP. But you'd get to know them over time and could form some close friendships. (I joined a book club via Meetup a few years ago - it took a while to get to know people, but I'd now class them as friends).

Yes, friends from university.
I have one other friend I would be happy to go away with.