what is going on with this man?

[IDoNotGetIt]

I have name changed for this.
I am 51, have been a single mum for a few years- having been in a very long term abusive relationship with the father of my kids. But at the beginning of November I started seeing a bloke I know through a mutual hobby.
He is 57, has never been married, no kids- has been out of a long term relationship for a year now.
He made it clear that he wasn't looking for anything serious- fine neither was I, I just wanted to see how i felt dating again.
After about 4 dates text messages started to get a bit raunchy.
(last time I dated no one had smart phones, so I can't quite remember what we did!).
It was fun, I enjoyed playing along- made me feel good and excited about what was to come;.all the usual stuff I suppose about what we would do if we slept together. What I would like him to do, all that stuff.
About a week after that we did the deed- it was literally nothing but a shag. I was fine with that, it suited me at the time- I put it down to lust etc etc.
Since then it has always been just a shag.
All the stuff we talked about, all the stuff he said he wanted us to do has not materialised, even if i've tried to gently steer things in that direction.
So was all that sexting just bollocks- window dressing?

I am not shy or inexperienced in that area and I have no idea what is going on as this has never happened to me before- even one night stands have made more effort than him. Why say you're going to do all this stuff that you have no intention of doing it?
He's clearly not keen on me initiating anything either.
I'm beginning to wonder if he hasn't copied an pasted it all from some website as it is so incongruous with how he actually is.
Basically I have become a FWB right?

Any thoughts as it's going my head in?

I should have hit him over the head with the frozen mackerel- oh he gave me a double decker too- sadly it was the chocolate bar. I don't like them.
He snores too.

ghetto no signs of meno yet, things working as they always were luckily.

It varies. I'm 9 years past meno - but am fully naturally lubed.

I like double deckers. Maybe my choc addiction keeps me moist.

Licked my backside sorry op but that had me howling!

Clearly all the fantasy texting is this man's idea of foreplay
Or that's all your going to get
Fake fun no action
Tea n a double decker would be better tbh
The double Decker doesn't lie about what's underneath it's wrapper

The dog also licked my toes.
God, what was I thinking.
I did ask him to put the dog outside the bedroom. He said it would howl- which is sadly more than I got to do.

Arf 😁

IDoNotGetIt, be reassured. I'm 50 and I can guarantee that men in their fifties and early sixties are delighted and totally up to a variety of antics in bed. You'll meet someone who will make you feel absolutely ace in bed and you'll laugh about this sad man.

GhettoFabulous you made me chuckle

Oh, I do hope so.
I guess what I absolutely did not need was this type of man. His behaviour made me think I was an unattractive and sexually inept old bint.

I think I'm like you QueenOfTheCroneAge although menopause hasn't hit me completely.

And I like Double Deckers too. But I live in France and they are thin on the ground, sadly. Fortunately the men make up for it a bit.

Get rid of him, IDoNotGetIt I've been divorced for three years and I've had a ball (except for one very disappointing man). Of course he's making you feel like shit. It's him, not you.

Fortunately the men make up for it a bit

Oh, I bet they do @gettingstherehopefully

gettingstherehopefully oh i’m Envious;all those lovely French men!

So, what are your holiday plans, IDoNotGetIt? Maybe a little taste of what France has to offer would suit

Does anyone do package deals for sex starved women?

I’m also ashamed to admit that I have been looking for advice from all these online ‘do this and you’ll win a man forever’ dating ‘gurus’.
No more. I have to be enough just as I am 🙂

package deals

Although not one of them suggested a threesome with a bloody dog!

Double snigger

I am 47 and delighted to hear that it’s nit inevitable that my vague will shrivel up and dry.

That’s what I’ve got from this thread anyway.

I can also second what everyone else is saying... older men might have some downsides, but are generally pretty skilled sexually. You’ve just happened on a dude... ‘let me in’ after just lip kissing! What planet is he on!?

Nit and vague???

Sounds like I’m in ‘ello ‘ello!

Not and vadge thank you very much autocorrect!

QueenOfTheCroneAge, you're brill!

Don't idealise French men too much IDoNotGetIt; they're a whole different ball(s) game.

Oh god, this sounds so familiar.

Man in mid 40s, twice divorced before 35, promissed the moon, says Im incredibly sexy. Hold hands, kiss, date, kiss, text, date, finally sleep together and he explodes as soon as i touch him. Try again next date, very little kissing or touching, no ‘throw down’ or passion, bucks like a jack rabbit for a minute and is done.

Third date, same as previous but he ‘goes South’ this time. No fucking clue what he’s doing. No easing into it, no variance, only focuses on one spot and no fucking idea how to build tension, despite my best efforts to instruct him.

Next date, i try to show him how to grind his hips while dtd and again, he has no clue and seems baffled. The trip down south is similarly shit.

Sexting however is straight from sodding 50 shades.

Theyre obviously getting the patter online but in reality have no clue how to do it.

Sounds like I’m in ‘ello ‘ello!

So, we're milking the French theme, are we, PolkaDoting? Jolly good!