Open relationships

[Tofts]

My husband and I don't want to separate but I dont want sex anymore and he does. We are in our 50's, have late age teens and both have busy jobs. We've been married 25yrs and still enjoy each other's company although I care for him more than love him. I'm trying to get my head around an open relationship. I realise that there is the chance he could end up having feelings for someone else but Id be willing to take that chance. Anyone on here been through this and whats the outcome?

Meant to add - it's not all about him and his needs. Try to be proactive and take more control over your life and relationships.

I've read the whole thread and the only feasible solution IMO is divorce. I can't contemplate any agreement that would work for both of you.

Your marriage is over. Sticking around while he shags other women is just humiliating. Gather your self respect and tell him to leave.
Living like this can not be good for your mental health. Look after yourself. Even if that means you're alone (/with DC).

@SuziQ10 has hit the nail on the head.

Notacluethisxmas
I didn't play a game, it's not a bloody game. None of this is a bloody game. I said things on the spur of the moment through anger and frustration. I just wish I was as adult and nonarguementative as you seem to be.

Op - you are depressed and unhappy. And maybe getting it all out is useful for you in itself.

But what do you want, really?
Not what you wish - you not having said whet you said; him not needing sex, etc.

What do you want - what solution is there? Is that for your relationship to improve - say via counselling? For you to feel less tired?
To get less help?

I know - you don’t want to feel the way you do. But that’s just a starting point. How can this be achieved?
Maybe breaking it down to components - you can start changing your reality?

Say - if it’s that your family takes what you do for granted. You can stop doing that. Just stop until they step up and start pulling their weight. Etc.

No one will change your life for you, OP. Only you can.

OP, who said I don't argue?

He told you he couldn't continue to have no sex. Your response wasn't that you wanted to work On it. It was to tell him to shag someone else. So his choices are to be forced into a sexless marriage or go elsewhere.

Instead of facing the problem and seeing if you can work through it, you refuse and you called his bluff. You were banking on him not going elsewhere and settling for the sexless marriage.

Its not a game. But you are treating it like one

@MMmomDD Thank you.

You seem to somewhat hard of understanding, Notaclue

This just sounds like a marriage that has completely and utterly run its course.

He will fall in love with someone else.

Him seeing other women already, like you told him to, will leave his emotions open as well. How will you feel if he tells you he is leaving as he has developed feelings for someone else? Would that change your perspective? Would you want to try and win him back?