Obviously this is from my perspective only.
I have known my partner for many years and we have had a couple of attempts at being together which failed. This year we got together and have been madly in love. we have had a couple of disagreements, he calls them arguments, which to my mind seem to be me being in the wrong from his perspective, and in which he seems to recede or sulk, for want of a better word, and I capitulate.
Tonight, he cooked dinner and I asked if there were any more veg. he said there weren't and that he hadn't cooked them all in the packet.
apparently i made a face, said i liked veg more than potatoes and implied that he knew that already (or ought to).
A little later he told me he felt hurt by my response and that he had cooked a meal and it was my obligation to appreciate that.
I tried to explain I was only trying to make my needs known (in a clumsy way). and that I understood that if a way I respond to someone is not appropriate then I try and modify my reactions in future. I have a long history of not making my needs known and am in therapy. I am perhaps not assertive in the right way at the right time but I am working on this.
Anyway, after i apologised (which he did not accept as he seemed to feel I defended myself first) i pointed out that he had made remarks earlier in the evening that I found mildly offensive and he had only defended himself, not apologised. His response was that he did not agree that it was offensive. thereby denying my feelings.
silence ensued and then I just thought I am not going to be bullied into apologising by his sulking. I carried on with washing up and then sat by him in silence too. after a while I took out my journal and began to write it next to him and he then went to the spare room where he now is lying on the bed fully clothed, door open and light off, sulking.
is it irretrievable?