Tell wifes affair partners wife ?

[Heartbroken73]

I suspected for a while that my wife was cheating, all the usual signs people would recognise. One evening I checked her phone and there it was, a graphic text to another man. No sex involved but sexting and kissing at work and suggestions to each other of meeting up. My world literally fell apart. That was five months ago, we're committed to fixing things and the love we had has come rushing back. I went round to his house and he shrugged his shoulders and said he was sorry but it was just work banter that got out of hand, he told me his wife was not aware. My desire to tell his wife is sometimes overwhelming, I want him to feel the agony I have felt. I could bring his career, family life and marriage crashing down in an instant and that thought excites me. My wife begs me not to do it as she wants to move on. Thoughts please this keeps me awake at night.

If you tell her that could put the nail in the coffin in your own relationship, so have you really considered that?

If so...it wasn't worth keeping.

If a betrayed is scared their spouse will run off by telling the OBS...your relationship is in trouble.

I'd get the OM to tell his wife or I'd tell her? I mean how can anyone move forward when this big fat concealment is still continuing? I can't help thinking it suits your wife the OM's wife doesn't know because she is still worried about his welfare?

Of course you are well within your ‘place’ to tell her... you’re the only one that’s going to be upfront and honest with what you know.
Would you want her to tell you if it were the other way around?!
What if they’re planning a baby?
What if she’s caught fanny rot off the cheating scum?
She has a right to know!!!

Plus it will mean the affair would def be sentenced to death- like others have said, leave them with no place to hide.

Honestly what are some posters thinking with such selfish crappy advice? Makes me think they’ve been/are cheaters themselves.

“can't help thinking it suits your wife the OM's wife doesn't know because she is still worried about his welfare?”

Or maybe she feels she’s been responsible for enough damage ? Feels guilty?

Anyway, putting nobility aside, not telling gives the OP leverage over the OM: “mess with my DW again, and I tell your wife “.

And as far as the story goes, it was a texting affair, not physical.

If I caught my partner doing that? I'd be like Donald Sutherland in Backdraft.. I'd watch them burn...

However, if you want to maintain a marriage. You need to let it go.

Sad, but true.