Christmas Eve and I'm so unhappy

[BahHumbugTime]

Is anyone else feeling miserable and lonely today? I am wallowing in my tears. Everywhere I look I see happy people and excited about Christmas. I just wish 2018 would end.

I'm in the process of divorcing my H and struggling to come to terms with it. I received decree nisi application in the post today. I feel dead inside.
I have 2 grown up DCs. I'll be with one of them tomorrow and the other on Boxing Day, which of course will be lovely.
I just can't pull myself together today.

I'm not the only one feeling like this, am I?
Will someone please give me a slap and tell me to pull myself together x

OP, this is the third Christmas since I lost my darling son. I don't think I will ever celebrate Christmas again. I just hide until it is over.

You are not alone. There are many people suffering in so many different ways.

ivykaty - i agree. I have worked many Christmas Days myself and, as a family we moved away from our home town and extended families. There is a lot of pressure to be happy, or at least appear to be.

ivykatie yes so true re Christmas and the way it’s portrayed in the media etc
ischristmasoveryet I hope you feel better after your break in the cafe this afternoon

abusive STBXH of 20 years left 18 months ago. he works away so I had DCs last Xmas when he was away and he has them from tonight for 2 weeks this year. Have been pissed about by arseholes on OLD these last few months and beginning to feel like I'm never going to find anyone. Had to move back to UK in the summer this year from abroad and so don;t have friends and I have a small family and we are not close. But tomorrow I plan to sit in my pj's with my dogs, watch shit tv, drink as much as I like, eat a whole tub of Roses, have pizza and then pass out lol. In a few days i am going away just me, myself and I to a place with no internet and stunning hilly walks..........I'm just going to focus on 2019 being the year it all goes my way

I should check auto correct shouldn't I!

Should say dh and I split 4 years ago ....
Could do with a split from shopping mind😂

I am all for a bit of wallowing - nothing wrong with that. I for one am grieving the loss of the relationship I thought I had - not the one I actually had! I take comfort from friends who have been through similar and are out the other side stronger and happier

I am joining in too. Hugs to you OP.
Same old story here - H walked out two weeks ago. Nowadays he spends weekends at his new flame's house. (Weekends only, during the working week he is here ! (Housemates - I hate the word.)
He will spend the Christmas eve at her place as well. Not too bad for me, I would rather not see him.
No kids involved, thankfully.
On a positive note - I just returned from 1st B-day party of my nephew-in-law. Cuddled the toddler, hugged and chatted with family-in-law (they are lovely and are having my back). Kinda uplifting.
Still have to face Christmas dinner with them tomorrow. To my knowledge, H was going to attend... Kinda curious how he is going to look everyone in the eye. But not my monkey, not my circus.
From now on, my priority is myself. New life in 2019, this is the plan.
Sending strength.

endoftheline - I am so sorry for your loss

I should also have had a 2 year old running around but lost her mid term due to disability. Her due date is New Year's Day.

Last year got period in Xmas day and this year I'm late and betting it will arrive tomorrow. Just for that added kick in the teeth.

Can't wait for Boxing Day when I'm off a few days .

Pulling up a chair and pouring a Baileys....

I am home alone until 27th.

Oh I wanted to add - strength, hugs and new beginnings (of the kidn you need) to everyone in the new year. XX

I'm finding this thread quite a comfort to know it's not just me feeling crap!

Sorry to everyone else who is too...

It's nearly over xx

I’m pretty much on my own, my DH has been an idiot & it’s very frosty at home as I’m waiting for him to apologise. We have no children & looking at ivf in the new year so everything feels emotional. We’re nc with all dps bar one and they don’t really do Christmas. Every year it feels worse as we’ve not got that happy family round a table, haven’t experienced that in decades. Feel so jealous of others that have a family meal and give gifts. My DH is rubbish with gifts still waiting for bday & 10th anniversary presents so not expecting anything unless it comes from Tesco express garage.

I’m planning tomorrow to go online & buy what I want for myself, thought sod it im going to spoil myself. Keep telling myself tomorrow is just Tuesday that’s all, it’s another day. And I’m going to cheer myself up by coming on aibu and read horror stories of in laws.

DH is sapping any bit of happiness out of me so I'm out of the house sitting in a cafe which is closing in 15 mins.

Don't let him do that. Start making a plan and saving so you can leave when your youngest goes to uni.

Have a little wallow today, do something comforting, eat soup, have a bath....
Pick yourself up tomorrow and enjoy your day
2019 will soon be here, we can start again

It is a comfort to know there’s others out there. I was sitting crying yesterday after visiting a friends all in loving couples planning lovely family Christmas days. However I always remember that there’s still plenty of people in the world who would love to be in my position, being in a warm and safe home with food.

A glass of something is good, a bottle will make feel worse

Jesica throw him out !

No slap from me lovely.

I wept buckets after getting my Nisi. I couldn't understand why I was so upset because it was the best thing for my safety and sanity. My neighbour at the time told me I was grieving for the hopes and dreams of a life dreamed of on my wedding day. And that it was a bit of a pity party because there was a sense of failure too. I think that lovely old chap was right.

I'm alone and lonely now but I was lonelier in that marriage.

Things will get better. You are doing grand and I hope happiness comes your way soon x

For all of us who are struggling.

@Missingstreetlife: Jesica throw him out !

I would love to. There is more to the story tho:

• I am not a UK native. Too much restricting immigration-related crap linked to H as yet. Unfortunately.

• The house is his (full title).

But mind my words, I would love to kick him out.

Op and those in a similar situation. Last Xmas I had just split from ex p. It was a very miserable time, but looking back every Christmas with him was bloody miserable!
12 months on I am so happy. The happiest I have been for ages.

To those having a tough Christmas due to partners/ husbands/ exes, next year will be better I promise.

Mine is very minor compared to everyone else's. I'm a single parent but I don't want a partner, and I get to be with DD who is my favourite person in the world. I just feel sad because I'm seeing family over the next three days but I feel so unloved and unwanted by them. DB and I used to be so close but he's only popped in for twenty minutes over the Christmas period to pick up his child's Christmas presents. My DF is going to be over here on two days but he's always disliked me (as he told me when I was twenty), and I only feel acceptable to him as the "grandchild incubator" . I don't think my DM wants me around much these days apart from the access to her grandchild aspect - she seems to treat any time with me as a nuisance taking her away from her precious DP (he's a cunt who sexually harassed me to the point of sending me pornographic emails, but I've never dared tell DM in case she took his side). I miss my lovely friends who are all abroad or with their families. It's stupid but I feel like the only person in the world who cares about me is DD, and she'll grow out of it in the natural course of things. I just feel like wallowing tonight and I'll be happy tomorrow.

Yes getting divorced too we all are still in same house it is ten times worse than normal since the kids broke up from school. Feeling ☹️ too

Horrifically lonely too. Bedridden, alone and unable to do anything. Don’t want to carry on to be honest as spend every moment ill and frightened. Hoping each day will be the last sigh

for all of you. It’s a shit time of year for amplifying any sort of misery in life. Makes you feel as though you’re completely by yourself when everyone else seems so joyous. Hold onto the fact it’s only a couple of days

Joining in too. Was dumped by boyfriend of seven months a few days ago. Also having a mental health crisis and having visits from the crisis team. Also lost my job this week.

Just want it to be over. Can't bear looking at social media right now.