Why is he so inconsiderate about sleep...

[TheKrackenAwakes]

Specifically my sleep.

I’ve been on hols since Thursday. Context is an exceptionally long term, a draining ongoing non-infectious illness that has caused me to be ill with secondary things for five weeks out of the last seven.

I am so tired that I actually find it hard to get to sleep. If I am disturbed much in the morning I am very unlikely to get back to sleep.

My DH has always been a rude bastard when it comes to waking me up in ways that are so careless they ‘feel’ as if they must be deliberate.
In his mind I am excessively grumpy about it and when I am short with him about it, it apparently puts him in a very bad mood going to work...

On Friday he woke me up at 7:30 by;
Loudly yawning and stretching in bed next to me three times.
Pulling out his sock drawer so it made a bang.
Leaving the bedroom door open then humming a song while brushing his teeth and flushing the loo.
Going to the kitchen which is below the bedroom and humming loudly, boiling the kettle and putting away pans, plates and cutlery, letting each door and drawer slam...
He then brings me a cup of tea (which I have never asked for) and wants to tell me that the cat was very cute sleeping on the kitchen table.

He could plainly see I was livid. I then asked him to let me be asleep. So off he went to work.

This morning was not much better.

Am I being excessively moody? Can people just not really help being like that? Should I just put up with it forever?

waking me up in ways that are so careless they ‘feel’ as if they must be deliberate.

They are deliberate. Come on, he ‘yawns’ loud enough that you can hear it through earplugs in the next room, he makes umpteen excuses to keep coming in to the room you’re trying to sleep in, that’s not just being a bit thoughtless.

He is also being a passive-aggressive arse by wrapping this up in “but I brought you tea ” and claiming he’s trying his best, like it’s beyond his control. How hard do you have to ‘try’ to NOT wake someone who’s sleeping so you can tell them about the sodding cat being cute?

You both need to talk this through some more. Marriage is about living together in harmony. If the harmony is off, talking about it, explaining the problem in simple terms so that both sides understand is what you need to do. People these days are too quick to Chuck the towel in. Remember all the work you probably put into organising the wedding ? Well that was to give you an idea of how much work a good marriage takes ! Neither of you are mind readers!

IME the golden rules are: Talk, treat each other with respect, talk, love each other to the moon and back, talk and most of all laugh together if you can everyday.

You can talk an abuser til you're blue in the face. It won't change a thing.

Is it attention-seeking? Is it not like a child who needs to get the OK from Mummy before he goes to school?
Coming in to tell you about the cat. That's like what a child would do. They want attention and to talk to Mummy, so they find something she likes (the cat) and comes in to talk about it.
It's like he's insecure and needs to wake you before he goes, because he needs you to know that he's leaving the house.

Next time he yawns loudly and stretches. Elbow him in the rIbs. He may get the hint.

Whole things bloody weird...why do you have to agree to him checking on you once before he leaves....just go work for fuck sake man!

Sounds very needy and or abusive. For god's sake don't start planning a family unless he follows through with his quiet promises. If you're having trouble with sleep now you'll be insane with a baby.

Hope it works out. I'm very much do not wake me unless the place is on fire, or you have pizza or have won the lottery